Worst Titles for College Essays

<p>How having a baby at 16 changed my life.</p>

<p>“I’m Awesome And (another applicant’s name) Isn’t”</p>

<p>Why I got a 2390 and not a 2400</p>

<p>“Why I hate your college”</p>

<p>

Your hero’s what?</p>

<p>Not an essay title, but a start to an essay:</p>

<p>Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting throught the wind, wanting to start again? I do. One Friday, as I was thinking about fun (you know how it is), I fell in love with Judas. I felt a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch, bringing me out the dark. It went from there. Today. I wash his feet with my hair if he needs it, forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain even after three times he betrays me. I do it because he tells me, ‘you’re amazing just the way you are’. It doesn’t matter if he rips the breaks out my car. I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain, because the affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more. He’s from a whole 'nother world; a different dimension. Then again, the same thing happened with my last boyfriend. Oops, I did it again.</p>

<p>^Wow a whole paragraph on Top 40, I’ll give you an A for effort.</p>

<p>The first sentence sounds like a real intro to an essay.</p>

<p>“Harvard Is Perfect For Me”</p>

<p>“40 inhumane tortures I’m sure you’d rather not endure”</p>

<p>‘2380: Why I purposely missed a question on the SAT to make me seem less like an academic machine’</p>

<p>

Well, colleges do tend to take pride in how many 2400s they reject…</p>

<p>^Yes, which is why they secretly accept 80-90% of those with a score of 2350-2390. This keeps their academic standard high, while allowing them to boast about how many ‘perfect’ applicants they reject.</p>

<p>Only kidding, but if it’s secret, who knows? ;)</p>

<p>I liked one from the original thread: “Chico, My Most Unforgettable Cellmate”</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Well, **** me. :P</p>

<p>Essay opening for Notre Dame: I want to please Jesus; I want to feel his salvation all over my face.</p>

<p>Of course, South Park fans will recognize that.</p>

<p>^You should write that for Bob Jones lol.</p>

<p>“My Plan to Assassinate the President”
“How I Accidentally Slept With My Sister”</p>

<p>“I don’t have a clue”</p>

<p>“Why my parents made me apply here”</p>

<p>“Parties: the reason I applied here”</p>

<p>“You Better Admit Me… Or Else”</p>

<p>“My Asian Parents Forced Me To Apply Here”</p>

<p>“How I Changed My High School Transcript”</p>

<p>“I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”</p>

<p>“The Death of my Butler and how I got over it”</p>