Would anyone like to polish my personal statement for me?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi,there.
I have finished my personal statement.
Revised for several times ,but The primary weakness is that I just tell the story but not show.Lack of evidence to support my career goal,interesting area,the personal statement seems general.It is difficulty to me to control the essay in 500 word and detail the past work and future plan.Would anyone like to polish it for me ?Thank you anyway.</p>

2

<p>Thank you radronOmega:)</p>

3

<p>Would anyone like to critique?</p>

4

<p>I'd like to, if you want my advice</p>

5

<p>I have send my personal statment by mail.thank you:)</p>

6

<p>Your personal statement is 500 words? Are you talking about just a regular college essay? I'll read it if you would like. What is your career goal?</p>

7

<p>send it over... pm me I'll take a look</p>

8

<p>I'll read it, PM me</p>

9

<p>I will, too.</p>

10

<p>I'll critique it....if you want my advice
PM it to me</p>

11

<p>I'll critique it, too. PM me.</p>

12

<p>I have send my personal statement to all of you by pm or email.Please leave your email to me so I can make sure that you will receive my personal statement:)Thank you for you all.</p>

13

<p>PM me. =)</p>

14

<p>I'll read it.
PM me!</p>

15

<p>Did you receive my PM in which I replied to what changes you can make?</p>

16

<p>PM away, my friend. Thanks.</p>

17

<p>Send it to me!</p>

18

<p>pm me =) 10 char</p>

19

<p>PM me (10 char)</p>

20

<p>You can PM me</p>