<p>we are taking D, but we are flying, we get to take a small bag with one change of clothes, while at the same time lugging two HUGE bags each with HER stuff</p>
<p>and we will need to go do a bit of shopping for her while she is getting settled</p>
<p>for H and me, we will stay a couple of extra days in NYC...a kind of anniversary celebration</p>
<p>A car is good. Beats getting yourself, your stuff, your mom and your double base from the airport to the college (my son's roommate; his mom bought him a car the following in year).</p>
<p>bbecker, in my opinion, your mom will be missing out more than you by her not coming along with you. I'll admit, I was very excited to see my son's room, meet his roommate, etc. My husband and I helped him get his things to his room, and partially unpack, but then we got out of his way. We were probably there for 1/2 hour. We said a quick goodbye, and that was that.<br>
There were also student helpers tripping over each other to help out, so I'm sure you'll have plenty of assistance.</p>
<p>I hope so, Is there a time frame that you have to move in? because if there isnt I plan on being there extremely early.</p>
<p>At my son's school, they sent us information (or maybe it was online) about move-in day. It listed the hours, and best time to miss the rush.</p>
<p>I have a friend just like your mom, bbecker. One thing I noticed with her kids is that they are very independent and resourceful. Be that as it may, they still wish their mom was more involved in their lives.
H, younger son and I took older son to college. We stayed for two days for parents' orientation. WE enjoyed every minute of it.
Your plan on getting there early is perfect. Good luck and have a good life at college. Let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>While having extra hands to transport things from the car to the room was good, but there were things I could have lived without, like my mom got upset and saying she actually hated this experience when we got stuck in traffic driving up to school, both parents complaining about the heat, my dad being very OCD about what heavy and light things should go in at what point and such, parents squabbling with each other about how much money I should be left with. Oh yeah, and then they didn't actually help to unpack, but that was alright after all the other stuff. Besides I know how to make a bed and put clothes away; I don't really view it as a 2-person job. You and your roomie can help each other, and if her parents are still there I'm sure they'll be more than happy to lend a hand. I have faith that you are totally able to handle this on your own, and while it will be hard to be by yourself, it's a cool new adventure and it will give you a sense of accomplishment that you did it alone. </p>
<p>If it helps, I may be totally on my own this coming fall because my sister will need my parents to help transport things from our house in southern MD to U Alabama when she heads to grad school in August.</p>
<p>We went to both kdis schools on move in days...</p>
<p>My D's was sweet because they had helpers and two car loads of stuff up two flights of stairs in seconds. I only carried her new computer because it was new. Sweet.. no stress, no strain and we're in.</p>
<p>It's good for the parents to come as well to be there with that wallet to pay for all the extra things you'll need.</p>
<p>Not that he could have used any help, but I wouldn't have missed taking LFWB to his first day. Dropped him off with is one suit case and window fan and then hung around for three hours and I think I caught a glimpse of him again before he went to lunch.</p>
<p>My older S's college doesn't let students move into their actual room until a week after they arrive, and is on the opposite coast so an airline flight is involved. We decided it would be silly to fly out, drop off his stuff, and wave bye, so we waved bye at the airport and he flew out alone. We Airborne'd his boxes to follow a week later when he was moving into his actual room and flew out to visit on Family Weekend in Oct.</p>
<p>My younger S will also attend a college that is flying distance away from home next year (although we don't know which one yet! :) ), but none of his choices have that "you can't stay in the room you're temped in that first week" rule so we'll fly out with him and wave bye after his dorm room is set up. Different situations suggest different approaches.</p>
<p>To the OP ... lots of good advice given so far ... the only thing I would add .. if you are on your own feel free to ask for help from your RA, from the students who volunteered to help new students move in, and from your new dorm mates ... everyone will be more than willing to help out. To me it's sort of a college equivalent to a barn building day ... all hands are on deck to help whoever needs whatever help they need.</p>
<p>(PS - to the parents. I great lesson I learned from my Dad ... after my parents helped me move in he actively sought out kids who appeared to be on their own and asked them if they needed help).</p>
<p>Here are a couple of tips: Do plan on getting there early as you are planning. We got to our son's dorm an hour before the scheduled time to move in. We did have to wait around and we could have gotten there a few minutes later, but doing this was well worth it. We were able to park very close to the front door of the dorm, making unpacking a lot easier. I would suggest all luggage be on wheels, or have a foldable hand truck to help. Someone on CC mentioned a hand truck last year and it was excellent advice. We had a bunch of boxes and we stacked 4 at a time on the hand truck. Other parents/students will probably help when asked to do so. While we were waiting around another student arrived early with her mother. They needed some help unloading some boxes. They spotted my son waiting for the dorm to open and recruited him. The car was quickly unloaded.</p>
<p>We went on S's move-in day because he had gone a week earlier for NROTC freshman orientation so it was up to us to bring his "stuff". When he returned this year for soph. year we did not go. </p>
<p>At his school, fraternity and sorority menebers were helping freshmen move in. We took advantage of their help and had all his stuff in the room after only 2 trips to the truck. Take advantage of any help offered. You rommate will probably have parents ready and willing to help too.</p>
<p>Yes, we'll drive him to school, no matter where it turns out to be--we all love a good road trip! I hope H and I will know when to get out of the way. I'm looking forward to it... I imagine H and I will plan something fun and distracting for ourselves on the way home...the first few days of the next phase of our lives.</p>
<p>bbecker,
My daughter moved herself in freshman year and did fine. I was the one that was bummed because I couldn't accompany her. At my son's school he could have done it himself because our vehicle was totally unpacked by a group of students. In fact, we had to keep an eye on our personal luggage to make sure they didn't take that upstairs. My husband was helpful in setting up the guys electronic equipment but I noticed that it was all different when I went down for parents weekend so obviously son could have done it himself anyway. You are right, there will be other parents around and there will be enough kids there without parents that it will be fine. My biggest concern for you is the drive. Seven hours is pretty long by yourself. Any chance you could spend the night somewhere after maybe five hours and then drive the last two in the morning? My son has been doing his six hour drive by himself but I don't like it and he's pretty tired once he gets here.</p>
<p>My DH drove each kid to school the first time and helped with move-in. It was handy b/c he could make trips to the local hardware or similar store for extras for the room. None of the kids were left with a car so that first day of shlepping was greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>Both boys go to school over 1,000 miles from home, but we went with both for that first move-in. We shipped some things ahead of time, then flew out using 3 people's luggage allowance for the rest of the stuff. Anything else we bought out there. Both schools handled the orientation for parents differently, but there was a convocation on move-in day in both cases. For the U of C it was in Rockefeller Chapel and concluded with a bagpipe led march where the Class of 2007 separated from parents at a set point, and at Wash U the convocation was in the field house, followed by a candlelight (well glow stick) procession led by the Chancellor where the Class of 2009 walked down a path with parents lining the way. They were both very special experiences that I imagine will be bookended in our memories by the experiences at graduation. I'll find out in June!</p>
<p>bbecker:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Yeah, most parents come, but it gets awkward fast. I'm sure you'll have a few minutes of missing your mother, but you're 100% right that if you need any adult assistance, you will be able to choose from dozens of available parents. Also, a lot of kids with their parents there will be looking at you with some degree of envy.</p></li>
<li><p>But make certain your mom knows how you feel -- that you WOULD like her to come with you, and that she IS welcome. Maybe she'll come, and maybe she won't, but she will feel better if you make that clear, and you will feel better, too.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>D was independent and flew the 1500 miles. As I had surmised she quickly got help from able-bodied males who wheeled all of the stuff she had sent in advance up to her dorm. And she was "adopted" by several familes who also included ther at dinners during move-in weekend. She was able to meet and socialize without the burden of parents around. We waited until Parent Weekend, six weeks later, in October to visit. I think is was good for her because she had to figure out what she needed and find out how to get to the hardware store etc. </p>
<p>Now wife seems more concerned about S being able to do things on his own. She figures without her being there he could leave his suitcases unpacked most of the semster--It's a guy thing.</p>
<p>bbecker, I agree with JHS and tell your mom you want her to come. She might surprise you. Moms and 18 year old sons can have an awkward relationship. My S was ready to bolt a year ago, so it's been a tough year - I'm ready for him to go, he's ready to go that sort of thing...I asked him point blank if he wanted us to follow him out to his college in August....he said "yes" and nothing else. Why, I don't need to know...did he want the security since the drive is 1200+ miles?...did it finally sink in that he is actually leaving home and he wants what he's perceiving is a last connection? Did he know I really wanted to go? Doesn't really matter...tell her you want her to come. Also, there will be many without parents and alot of parents drop off and leave pretty quickly (as my H and I are planning). My roommate's parents many moons ago never brought her up to school and my parents kind of adopted her for moving in, short vacations...that sort of thing. I don't think her parents could afford it but it doesn't really matter why. THe same will happen to you if your mom chooses not to, you'll get sucked in by other families.</p>