Would you accompany your child to college

<p>If you're going alone, I suggest that you think in advance about the security aspects and maybe even e-mail the college housing department for suggestions.</p>

<p>At some colleges, people moving in cannot park near the dorms because there are no parking lots there. Instead, they are allowed to remove everything from the car in a place very close to the dorm entrance (probably on the grass), after which they move the car to a distant parking lot, walk back to the car, check in to the dorm, and move in.</p>

<p>To do this without leaving your possessions unattended, you must have a second person. One person stays with the stuff while the other person drives the car to the parking lot and walks back. Then, the person who is not the student stays with the stuff while the student checks in (at my son's college on move-in day, checking in took more than an hour because of the lines). Finally, if the student and the college's move-in helpers cannot get everything up to the room in one trip, the extra person stays with the diminishing pile of stuff while the student makes trips up and down the stairs.</p>

<p>You may want to find out whether the move-in arrangement at your college fits this description before making a decision on whether or not a parent's presence would be helpful.</p>

<p>If your parent isn't coming, perhaps you could find another person who's going to the same college (if you know anyone local or if your college has a Facebook group) and help each other out on move-in day.</p>

<p>Thank you for all the advice! I was clueless on what to do.</p>

<p>Parent2noles has been very helpful, He informed me that at FSU they let you drive your car near the dorms so you can unload, He has two daughters there so his done it twice. I dont know any other parents who have childern at Florida State.</p>

<p>As for the drive, I'm not sure If I'll be tired. I hope to get a good night sleep and leave early in the morning which allot of coffee, Map quest and loud music :-). </p>

<p>I'll tell my mom that I would like her to come but I know she's probably not going to want to come. She never drives long distances anymore, her boyfriend does. We work together so they both have to find out if they can take the day off or not. I want her to some so she can be assured that I'll be safe.</p>

<p>My mom has accompanied me once for a move in situation. Last summer I worked at a summer camp about an hour away from our house. I would come home every Friday and leave again on Sunday mornings. One morning on my way there and like 2 exits away my tire blow up, I freaked out and she was the first person I called. She thought I was hurt from the way I was crying but I was just really scared, She drove the hour to make sure I was ok and we packed my belongs into her car and her boyfriend drove my car home with the spare and she drove me to my job and seen where I was living (a cabin) she was surprised. I want that experience again. I really appreciate all the input about move in. I'm sure if she doesn't come I can handle it on my own, even if it is the first day. I have to drive the distance every time I decide to come home and soph, junior and senior year :-). You been really helpful thank you.</p>

<p>Oh yeah, I also considered CARPOOLING but my mom would never allow it, She always told me never to depend on other people. A lot of the kids who went to my school and more go to the college I’m going to. So maybe I can leave my car on campus and drive back with them if they don’t mind or something and also help them drive.</p>

<p>bb, if we're on campus or if you need a local contact for some help please PM and one or both my daughters could probably come and help you get settled.</p>

<p>I do hope your mom comes and helps...but if it doesn't happen PM and we'll help.</p>

<p>(PM and I'll give you our cell numbers for real-time contact)</p>

<p>parent2noles,^^^ what a kind and generous offer.</p>

<p>^ I think of my own daughters...and it is a tough spot. That's a lot to have to figure out all on your own. Yes, these kids are smart, but a little support goes a long way in the beginning.</p>

<p>I am very glad to see that someone will be on the same campus as bbecker. He/she has been on my mind since last night. May I applaud parent2noles?</p>

<p>Thank you parent2noles.</p>

<p>cmbmom, I'm a female :-), thank you so much for the concern. Everything will turn out for the better! :-)</p>

<p>Seems like this ought to be up to the young adult to decide. I recall that I "respectfully" declined to have my parents involved those decades ago. Why go if not asked? Whose college experience is this anyway.</p>

<p>If I as a parent was really concerned, I'd call the school well in advance and get their take. I doubt that there are very many schools that feel that dear ole DAD and Mom are necessary to the process of moving into a DORM. </p>

<p>BESIDES, if all the helicopter parents showed up, there would be traffic control problems. </p>

<p>Rethorical question: When will the child ever be "old enough"?</p>

<p>07dad: You are spot on!</p>

<p>07Dad: I think you're right about it's being (a) the kid's call, and (b) unnecessary. On the other hand, when my daughter started college in September 2005, I would say that at least 2/3 of kids had at least one parent there, there were myriad events directed at the parents, and it was more useful than I thought it would be for us to be there (problems with bank accounts, phone service, and a lost UPS delivery).</p>

<p>Well yeah there's never a set age where our parents should stop being involved. Like someone qouted earlier "we will always be their childern" So no matter weather we're moving into a dorm, or a new house some parents will ALWAYS be there for thier childen and I see nothing wrong with that. Just some kids want freedom and dislike hovering parents.</p>

<p>It's hard not to "hover" when you love your kids. Of course, soon you realize they are better off out of the nest rather than in it, and you begin to regard them as adults. They'll always be your kids, though, as you point out.</p>

<p>Hi bbecker. My D auditioned at FSU and I went with her for the audition. She wasn't accepted into the program there, but I liked the campus very much. So many people were very nice to us, asking us if we needed help and chatting with us. The kids we met in the dorms were very friendly and helpful. I was quite struck with how nice it was there, especially for a big school. It was an open tour day that day and the dean of students was outside chatting with prospective students and parents and serving warm, homemade cookies out of a basket (didn't see that anywhere else). We saw a musical and an opera while we were there. And my D was wishing she could sign up for their circus performing class! You have lots to look forward to!</p>

<p>I am on the opposite side; I wanted to see son's room (knew the campus), he doesn't want his mother in his world-a parent's big chance to see a child's room is move in day (and moving out), son knows his mother gets her only peek at it then- otherwise a parent can sit in the car and wait for them to come out to the car to go home or watch them carry their stuff back after a trip home.</p>

<p>After you get to know people you should learn who safe people to carpool with are and hopefully share the travel to and from home for vacations. People in your classes or dorm who live somewhat near you will be happy to share a ride, and you will find out how to accomplish this through people you meet in the dorm. Enjoy your freshman year!</p>

<p>bbecker,
You mentioned hoping you'd get a good night sleep before the 7 hour drive, drinking coffed and so on to stay awake, loud music...
I don't know if it'll end up you go alone or with your mom, but either way,
one thing we do with 7-hour drives is this:
We ALWAYS assume we'll be up too late the night before an emotionally-charged day like that one.
We've also had too many close brushes (not ourselves, but dear friends) who pushed too hard and had accidents due to fatigue.</p>

<p>So, here's how we handle things for 7-hour important trips. We break things up into two days.
We always drive on the first day to a town about 2 hours from our destination. That way, the emotional night before (late-night packing, saying good byes) is only followed by a 5 hour trip, not 7.
We have a cheap motel room reserved ahead (in the town 2 hours from our destination). We look forward to it; the bed's made, there's a TV and SOOO relaxing.
We get there in the early evening, bring in pizza or even have a dinner packed from home, and just eat in bed while watching the TV.
By 9 p.m. we'rre sound asleep and catch up on all the missed sleep.</p>

<p>Next morning, which is the important day, we are VERY well rested, only have 2 hours left to drive in the morning. We get to our destination before noon, feeling on top of the world and ready to deal with any stress, not to mention the moving-in physical part. We do it in daylight.</p>

<p>We can find simple road motels like these for around $60. We think it is a mini-vacation and perhaps has even saved us from injury on the road.</p>

<p>Just an idea in case it appeals to you! Works for us.</p>

<p>BBecker, Pay3 has made some VERY good points. My son was EXHAUSTED after driving for 7 hours from USC to our home in N. Calif. It would be very wise for you to break it up into 2 days so you WILL have lots of energy to unpack the car and move into your room, regardless of how much help you hope you will get once you arrive. Get there safe. Don't try to do it all in 1 day.</p>

<p>Paying3 </p>

<p>That is very good advice for any road trip not just going to school. But it could make getting to spering break destinations a lot safer for everyone as well.</p>

<p>I helped D move into her freshman housing, but be prepared to give her and the new roommates some time without you around. I ran errands, bought stuff, and assembled stuff. And I spent alot of time alone.</p>

<p>I wouldn't have missed sitting under the trees in Harvard yard listening to my D being welcomed to the 358th class of Harvard College for anything.</p>

<p>Oh yes, we helped on move in day. I enjoyed seeing the dorm room, meeting the roommates and their parents and going to the orientation meetings. It's always nice for me to put the names and faces together for the rest of the year.</p>

<p>07Dad, I think that the reason why a lot of parents accompany their kids to school is that 1) freshmen on many campuses are not allowed to have cars, and 2) in many instances, traveling by car is the easiest way to get the student and the student's possessions to school.</p>

<p>In other words, the parent is there mostly to drive the car back home.</p>

<p>As for the "drive up the day before and stay in a cheap motel" strategy, that's exactly what my daughter and I will be doing when she goes to college (6 hours away) in August. There is one disadvantage to this strategy, though. You really can't leave anything expensive in the car while you're sleeping in the motel; it might not be there in the morning. So we will need to carry much of her stuff into the motel room that night and carry it back to the car the next morning.</p>

<p>For those who use the motel room strategy: It's cheaper if you choose a motel that is an hour or two away from the college, rather than one in the college community. Motels in college communities know when move-in day is, and they charge more for their rooms at that time than at other times of the year.</p>