<p>There’s something so odd about the title of this thread. Is the “catch” that someone dropped out of an Ivy, because in my mind that person has less serviceable education for the future than someone who completes any 4th tier school. Is the “catch” is that, although you’re dropping out of college, you have a promising business plan? IN that case, you just might have met someone from one of those intellectual families that values education for its own sake and not only as a ticket to start working for money. LOL they want you to have BOTH.</p>
<p>The orthodox Jewish family you describe might be wondering if you have any common sense, that’s all, to bail from an Ivy League college and without knowing how good is your business plan, not because they want their daughter to date someone wealthy but because they want her to be with someone who exhibits common sense. If you want her back (and I’m not saying you should) I’d go for demonstrating common sense in a host of ways, but not changing your own plans just to gain their approval. </p>
<p>Of all the things you wrote, I thought saying you’d just give her some time to think things over was evidence of common sense. I also wasn’t bothered by the word “let” because that’s just how some people talk who do have respect for families, as in “approve of” or “encourage” rather than meaning the parents give her a permission slip. Clearly you don’t have their approval for the moment, and that’s enough reason to let the word “let” slip into a sentence. No biggie. </p>
<p>Woahh, I made this thread just yesterday and it already got 5 pages and over 2000 views? You all catch on fast! haha</p>
<p>I have no idea who to respond to first! I guess I have to clarify: I am dropping out for business reasons, but I <em>might</em> be applying for transfer to Yale…just that one school and nowhere else. I love where I am right now, but it’s always good to keep all my options open.</p>
<p>As for the casual dating thing: I don’t know about other people my age, but I used my 4 years of high school and Freshman year of college to “experiment around” and casually date. Freshman year we had frat parties every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night as well as casual dates that always turned into hookups before we even got serious – well, those got old for me. Soon you realize that something else is missing… So yes, I’m dating now for potentially a life-long partner. I figured after I graduate I would be too busy with career advancement (and possibly working 18 hour days) that I wouldn’t be able to have the opportunity to meet the kinds of intelligent girls (and cute) I do now. </p>
<p>Part of the reason her dad might’ve been concerned was because this would’ve been her first real sexual experience. We’ve just kissed and had heavy make-out sessions up till now…we haven’t done that other thing if you know what I mean. This was my first real intention on having a potentially committed relationship which is why I wanted to wait to see how much respect she had for herself. A lot of my friends also are looking for potential lifelong partners as well – my male friends like going after the premed girls because of their career independency and my female friends always talk about going after guys who happen to be both “cute and majoring in engineering” haha…</p>
<p>I guess on one hand we should be enjoying our college experience and exploring…but the other side of me tells me that as I get older and more of my time goes towards my career, I won’t have the time to be meeting many quality girls so that’s why I’m so serious.</p>
<p>ps. I have 2 very close high school friends of mine – they’re both 21 now. They’ve been dating since sophomore year of high school. They go to different colleges (long distance). They’ve been in a relationship for 6 years. I envy their early maturity and would’ve traded away my wild fratboy party nights for a stable mature relationship like that!</p>
<p>Madeittt- Three words: The Millionaire’s Club
Let Patty Stanger help you find the love of your life, one who has no problem with you leaving your Ivy to make million$.
You’re welcome and invite me to the wedding.</p>
<p>Wow did this thread ever deteriorate. I don’t know why you felt the need to bring up your sex life and the sexual history, or the lack thereof, of the girl you are supposedly smitten with. This is a public forum. Also, people who work for start ups usually put in very long hours, at least if the start up is going anywhere.</p>
<p>Sorry if that was too much information…but I suggested it as another reason her parents might be really concerned about her giving herself up like that to some seemingly crazy lunatic who just dropped out of school</p>
<p>In my view, the young woman you are dating is unusual to be discussing with her father her decisions about having sex with you. Has she ever dated in her college years before? Surely this has come up. It really is her decision whether to engage in sex with someone she is in a relationship with or not. Now, perhaps she doesn’t want to do so unless it is someone she is planning to marry (not so common these days but am sure it is true with some). But I still have trouble understanding if after just two months of dating while in college, that her contemplation of your career prospects and whether you are marriage material would be so much on most college girls’ minds. I think many are thinking if they want to be in a committed relationship with you first and if sex is going to be a part of that. It just seems unusual that parents would be in on all that but maybe I am just going by my own experiences. I think my daughters decide who they wish to date and be in a committed relationship with for the time being. Sex is often part of a committed relationship. I don’t think they are contemplating if this is the person they may marry someday at this point of the relationship.</p>
<p>I guess I see a “happy medium” between casual hook ups in college (my kids don’t engage in these) and deciding on whether to date someone based on if they are who you might marry. The happy medium is having a committed relationship where you don’t date others and it is not a casual hook up and you may even be friends before you become lovers, but you don’t size up if this is the person you are going to marry before carrying on the relationship or before having sex.</p>
<p>PS…all that said, I do respect that you have been respectful of this young woman to establish a relationship first before having sex with her. You seem sensitive to her in this way. Still, if her parents are influencing who she dates or has sex with, you’ll have to weigh if you like that part that comes with her package.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, my college-educated cousin married a guy who was a master carpenter. Lovely guy, no college. We were sorry when it didn’t work out.</p>
<p>I don’t know any parent of any ethnicity or religious group that wants their kid dating someone who posts details of his or her sex life on an internet board.</p>
<p>That to me is the deal breaker. College drop out is irrelevant by now.</p>
<p>After skimming this entire thread I am still stuck on the word “let.”</p>
<p>Hm. How could we unlet? Not that I would.</p>
<p>My D was (is) dating a guy who graduated with an astronomical cum from WashU and did nothing but live in his parents’ basement for a year. Not kidding. Dad’s a doctor and they gave him spending money.</p>
<p>I didn’t occur to me to have an opinion about her life.</p>
<p>They have moved in together and he got a prestigious but not very serious internship at the CDC. He is making good money, but it’s only a one year appointment. I have no idea what’s in his plans.</p>
<p>DD graduated with a respectable cum from a fairly prestigious school. She’s working in Atlanta as a nanny before she goes to law school. I wonder if his family says, “Should we let our son date a nanny?”</p>
<p>We have no idea of where these kids will end up, and finding kindred spirits is not that easy either. </p>
<p>I am happy DD has someone to talk to. The hooking up part is easy. Someone to share deeper thoughts and feelings with is a gift.</p>
<p>As the great Leon Russell said (and sang so well by Joe Cocker) …for the great relief of having you to talk to.</p>
<p>I don’t see a guy as deep pockets to shower my daughter in material things. I know most of all she is looking for a friend.</p>
<p>I wrote the post about hoping my daughters married a carpenter, a plumber and an electrician. I was being completely serious. My home is old and sometimes I feel like it’s falling down around me. And I never went past community college myself, certainly no snobbery meant towards trades people. Of course what matters most of all is a kind loving heart.</p>