I just read about this app - it gives you choices of sleep/wake times based on when you HAVE to do one or the other AND sleep cycles. It’s interesting. It gives you choices of times based on when your sleep cycles probably (?) are occuring. I didn’t read all the info but give it a look.
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Melatonin, @BunsenBurner!
Tried it. No go. I suspect I will need a whole bottle! 
Oh no, you gotta titrate yourself and figure out how much you need. Everyone is different, how much did you use?
Plus, who cares when the Mr. BB goes to bed? If you aren’t tired, why not wait a few hours? He can tuck himself in.
I do sometimes use melatonin for long airline flights. My husband warns that some people he know who use it regularly need an ever-increasing dose. So far I’ve not used it at home but am interested to hear more example usages.
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The book light bothers H. Considering he’s often up at 5 am for int’l conference calls, I’m ok with not disturbing his sleep. He wears a G-d awful CPAP so his snoring doesn’t wake me.
Ah, compromise!
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We don’t have dinner til 8-8:30. This is an improvement from pre-covid, when it was closer to 9 pm. We watch TV for an hour or two, H will read in the recliner for a bit, I clean up the kitchen and shut things down. After H goes to bed; I sew or get on the computer. Late nights are my creative time.
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It’s funny how different people are. I can’t wrap my head around doing anything intellectual after 9pm. My brain shuts down. I never pulled an all nighter at college (or high school). Studying or trying to work past 10pm was useless. My kids knew not to ever ask me for help or anything after 9pm, because not only could I not help, they’d get fussed at for procrastinating!
I don’t recall when I stopped giving them bedtimes and I just went to bed myself. I know in high school for sure. Elementary school they went to bed before we did. Can’t remember the transition. As long as they didn’t seem tired during the day and got everything done, it was fine by me.
Edit - In college I also worked my schedule around my 2-4pm nap. I loved having classes from 8-lunchtime. Sometimes it wouldn’t work out, but mostly it did. 8am not as popular I guess!
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@Colorado_mom we haven’t had that experience. Both myself and my husband have taken two mg for many years. Only reason I’d think one would need to increase the dosage is because as you age, your body produces less melatonin.
The problem most people have with melatonin is that they don’t know how much to take (everyone is different), and how to take it properly. Our youngest son was taking 10mg and didn’t understand why he was so sleepy and had brain fog until noon. Good grief, kiddo, you’re young and likely don’t need it, you’re taking way too much and you need a good eight hours to sleep since it stays in your system. After over thirty years of irregular and alternating work shifts, one thing I know is how to sleep.
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I use an iPad with a cover that I open to H so he cannot see the light from the pad. I have downloaded books on the kindle app.
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I don’t read or watch tv in bed, my husband can go to bed early, I’m down in the family room surfing my online rose catalogs until I can’t read anymore, that’s when I go to bed. In the morning my husband has 2 hours in the morning to do his exercise routine without me there. It’s our alone time, lol.
We rarely watch tv or news except for the weather channel, maybe that’s how we can be reasonably happy.
So far I don’t take anything for sleep, and I notice when I eat a lot of jujube fruit, I have 6 trees in my garden, I just can’t keep my eyes open.
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MWF: Get up at 6:15 in order to get to the gym for 7 am training.
Other days: Get up around 8:00.
I go to bed sometime between 11 pm and midnight. If I were single, I would probably stay up later, but DH likes to get to bed at a decent hour. My parents were night owls, so I was always up past midnight as a kid, even when I was very young. Dad says when he was in grad school and I was a toddler, he would get home late and we would watch Johnny Carson together. 
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A interesting side to this thread has been posters that appear to regularly go to bed at the same time with their spouse. Which is totally fine, but my H and I have never done that - I mean, never had a habit to do this! Unless it was the first years of marriage before kids.
Our work schedules were different, I often wanted/needed to stay up later to do things around the house once the kids were asleep - lots of reasons we just never made it a habit to go to bed at the same time as routine. We end up in the same spot but not at the same time!!
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Yeah, the day hasn’t dawned when I would go to bed because someone else is tired.
Interesting. I love going to bed at the same time. 
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Also fascinated by the going to bed at the same time. That has never been our thing–except maybe when we are in a hotel.
DW typically is in bed 2 hours before me and awake before me. She will wake me on up the weekends, as timing allows
@abasket I don’t think I’ve responded on this thread but H and I rarely go to bed at same time. He needs way more sleep than I do, plus he likes to get up earlier than I do. I’ve always been a night owl so we each go to bed when we feel like. For most of our marriage, he traveled extensively for work so we always followed our own routines.
The time I go to bed has always fluctuated depending on various circumstances, but unless I’m not feeling well or exhausted, I rarely go to bed before 11:30. Sometimes I’ll stay up until 12:30-1 am reading or streaming something on my iPad.
Until this past fall, I typically got up around 6:15am as I still had kids at home needing to be driven to school. My youngest got her license in October, so now I get up around 7-7:30. DH no longer travels for work, and works from home. He gets up around 6am (goes to bed b/w 9-10) and since he’s up, he makes D a lunch. She leaves at 6:50am.
I can easily function on 5-6 hours of sleep but I try to get at least seven hours. DH needs a good 8-9 hours but would happily sleep for 10.
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All these posters not going to bed at the same time as their spouses… Yet they have children…. Might make for an interesting sub thread. 
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Well, I was thinking about mentioning that, but didn’t know if it was appropriate.
. I have to admit that it cuts down on physical intimacy, however, if I’m tired, I’m going to bed. If I’m not tired at all, not going to force it. I may stay in bed later in the morning to sequence wake up times, however.
But after so many years of both of us having irregular sleep schedules with huge sleep deficits, we have totally prioritized sleep. Lack of adequate sleep will make you sick and unhealthy. Sleep is precious, and we figure out whatever we both need to do to sleep well. Don’t wake the other person up for any reason, cover any possible light, no stress at night, no middle of the night conversation, earplugs, melatonin, phones on vibrate.
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Aw, you are bringing back memories with the going to bed at the same time question. For years - DH and I were on the same schedule. We both commuted into NYC so exhausted and in bed by 10pm. We kissed good night one night and ended up bashing each other in the face with our heads - so DH started saying “CLEAR!” before going to kiss me. We did that for years! But now, we are on different schedules and he is up until 11 or so.
I go to bed at 9 and read until 10 usually. I wake up EVERY NIGHT at 3am. It is awful. Most nights I can fall back asleep but the nights I wake up at 3 and cannot are terrible. I still work full-time and it really affects my brainpower and personality the next day. I take magnesium and a CBD oil caplet every night. It does help me sleep-but I still wake up. I tried melatonin but also still woke up. It was interesting to read above about the different dosage levels. I have no problem falling asleep, it’s staying that way that is my issue…
And then I wake up every morning naturally around 6 or 6:30.
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