@happy1 Ah you remember. She had an ED school all set, then she went to visit him at his school and loved his school. She came home very confused. Then she made the decision to ED her original choice and apply to his school ED2, but as of yesterday she is finding faults with both schools.
You guys are great. Thank you for your wise words. To answer some questions: She does have some schools on her list that have EA, and she would be happy to go to them if she gets in. The original ED school has a major she wants, but it’s competitve so if she wants a shot she should apply ED. If not she could still possibly get in RD, but it will be harder to get that major. That’s why there is pressure to apply ED to this particular school.
As for visiting, she has visited the ED school more than once, did a summer program there, got to know admissions people etc.
Things have changed so much. She used to only be interested in smallish LACs in rural/suburban areas. This summer we saw Purdue and she loved it, as did we. She also is very interested in university that is in an urban area with not much of a campus. She is now refusing to apply to schools that are “too small”. She’s all over the place. Our heads are spinning.
THanks again for putting things in perspective for me.
“She’s all over the place”=Not ready for ED. Things will work out. Good luck!
https://www.admissions.purdue.edu/apply/deadlines.php
Well…Purdue has early action…
@citymama9 If it’s any consolation, my 2014 S did something very similar. We saw every LAC on the East Coast because he didn’t want to go to a large school. I insisted he walk around (no official tour) just one big state U … and that was it. October Senior year only one LAC remained on his list and he didn’t want to ED although it was his reach - he was accepted anyway and I realized he just wanted to be admitted, not to attend.
FWIW when he made a pro/con list with LAC and state U his last entry was LAC $100K more over four years! Ended up at big school and it was clearly the best choice for him.
Let your daughter move on from small schools if that’s what she wants. And be grateful she didn’t apply anywhere binding.
@citymama9 Did the bf apply early? Does he want your D to attend his school? Do you think he could be effecting her decision?
@wisteria100 According to D he will play no part in her decision, and yes he did apply to his school ED.
@houndmom sounds familiar lol
Is she going to apply to Purdue EA? You said she loved it.
@thumper1 I hate to give so many details, but always end up doing so. Yes, Purdue is on the list. First big school she toured, it was amazing in so many ways. Never in a million years would I expect her to love a big state school, but she has a few on her list now.
My daughter didn’t use her binding ED either. She hemmed and hawed about using it a Johns Hopkins because of they were super forthcoming with filling the majority of their class ED. BUT, she liked Purdue better and they became her first choice. With EA, she had her Purdue decision in mid January and then the honors college invite a few weeks later.
FWIW, my daughter started out thinking mid sized schools were the right fit for her - Notre Dame, Northwestern, Lehigh, RPI sized schools. After touring, Purdue and Michigan suddenly felt “better”. Took me a while to get my head around her decision but she loves it, is thriving, and has found her tribe 
Your child will most likely be fine in any of her schools.
If she isn’t sure about her ED pick, perhaps she shouldn’t apply ED.
She is probably talking to different people at school and getting feedback on choices.
One of my kids applied ED because it was her clear first choice and affordable for us.
The otherone didn’t because she had no clear first choice. We wouldn’t get need aid so she would need merit so wanted choices.
Yes, ED would mean that she attends that school if accepted, right? Barring any financial issues?
So if she isn’t sure then she shouldn’t do ED.
Big state schools can be a good choice, urban schools can be a good choice, it depends on the major, what you are looking for.
Chiming in with others who say don’t push the ED. The closer college gets, the more priorities start shifting for many kids. What it top if the list in September isn’t necessarily too in May. Perhaps she will me more sure for the second round of ED but maybe she should stick to EA and RD. It’ll all work out and she will be more comfortable having choices.
Thanks guys. As of today, she has a list of schools to apply and they are very different than when she first started putting a list together. Where she applies ED or ED2 is up in the air. It’s still not clear what she plans to do. Clocks ticking, but we will let her decide. She may end up applying ED2 somewhere as it gives her more time.
This is why I get frustrated when very HS students start to fixate of a college or two early on – they can box themselves in to a particular school or two way too early. HS students mature, develop new interests and priorities, learn about different options etc. but some feel pressure to stick with “the perfect school” they (or even their parents) chose years ago IMO it is so much healthier when high school students are given the chance to reevaluate what they want in a college expereince, what they want to study etc. before applying.
@citymama9 It may be a bit frustrating but the very good news is that your D is sorting things out and developing a list that makes sense to her today. Kudos to you for giving your daughter the support, the time, and the freedom to reevaluate her college priorities. I have every confidence that things will turn out well for her.
@happy1 I totally agree.
I’ll speak for myself, but I’ll bet others have found themselves in a similar situation. My H and I thought we needed to start touring colleges early for our oldest, and we were excited when he found “the one” Of course, by September of Senior year, everything changed and he went a totally different direction.
Everything worked out fine, but I’m not sure what we should have done differently? We felt we should expose our son to a bunch of options. How do you help kids pace themselves?
When someone tells me about their kid’s dream school Sophomore/Junior year, I relay our experience. Then I watch their eyes glaze over and check out - probably what I would have done then, too.
@happy1 Thanks so much. Not that long ago D was focusing on which school had sororities and the prettiest campus. Fast forward a year, and she is seriously thinking about her potential majors, future career, access to internships. It turned things upside down, but it’s exciting to see her more serious about college. Where she ends up will probably surprise people who have read my posts over the last couple of yrs. Thanks again for your kind words:)