If he is not going to fail two classes this is a great plan. If he is going to fail two or more classes, I think a withdrawal should be considered. A conversation with a dean could get this started and you could get the documentation in after the fact perhaps- if the documentation is justified. If he is just seeing a lot of his girlfriend, and distracted, that might be different. It is his call. Many people on this forum have done last minute medical withdrawals and the lucky ones had tuition refund insurance in place!
another vote for withdrawal from at least one of the “F” classes, for the sake of GPA preservation. There was a time when I would have thought this was inappropriate, just laziness, or a dumb move. Now, unfortunately, I know better. Withdraw, medical, or in whatever format he can, and live to fight another day. Hope there’s not too long or big a fight ahead, but knowing what I know…
The one thing is, withdrawal is generally impossible once the time of the final exam has passed. so something to take care of right now.
I’ve been struggling this year too. I failed my first class, EVER. I spent so much time studying, I went to office hours, I sought out the help of professionals who are experts in the subject I was taking. I did everything I could and I failed. F =/= not trying. I also found out about a medical issue that I was struggling with. College is a very difficult transition for those who don’t come from a college prep school. I felt woefully underprepared this year. Now going forward, I know what to do, and what not to do. Don’t give up on your child. Threats to withdraw will only put more stress on him and will likely make him struggle more.
Of the three classes he’s struggling with, which ones does he think are salvageable? He’s got a finite number of hours to study for finals. If he’s dividing those by 3, that’s fewer hours per class. Divided by 2, he can focus on the two that he thinks he can get a passing grade. Or simply focus on one of the tough classes + the other classes he’s (hopefully) doing okay in. So IF he can withdraw from even one of them now it will lighten his load. But he needs to get w/ Advisor / Dean yesterday to get the paperwork going - and will probably need some sort of medical documentation. As others have pointed out above, it can be done even at this 11th hour.
He is lucky to have you in his corner.
I’m with those who say to have him withdraw. (The college may do this for you, if he flunks too many classes.) He’s not ready for college yet. So have him come home, work for a year, and figure out what went wrong. If he has an undiagnosed LD, you can figure that out. If it’s a mental health issue or drug use, you’ll know this pretty quickly by observing his behavior after he has been home for a short while.
Its actually 2 possible classes he might fail. One is language that school policy will not let you drop. Trust me he tried, he even spoke to the dean. That is there policy. The other one is Calc 3. Since its a gen ed class as an elective for his course if he can just get a D it counts as passing. But with a 68 and 43 on the two tests I am not sure how this will turn out. A 43 on a major test is not looking too good 
I looked up the school policy and since he is taking 15 credit hours all you need is to pass 9 credit hours to move on unless your GPA falls below 2.0 which is very possible as he has a 2.61 right now. If that happens then he would be on Academic Probation and knowing he has to confront what is going on. Of course we are right by his side with getting him help. But I don’t want to step in now as I want to see what happens with this year. Maybe it is not the depression and he is just being lazy and I step in again, then he knows I will always step in. A post earlier said take a step back and let him take control. Now for next year that is another story whether he stays there or not. Which we will have a serious decision during the summer after the evaluation.
My husband always told me that my son has never failed at anything because I am always there to fix things right away and he is correct. I have always stepped right up to be by his side no matter what. There was a few things in high school and of course I emailed the teacher right away 
So I am going to let him finish this semester as classes end early next week.
Hopefully with the new Dr. appointment will see what he has to say. I would never ever give up on my son no matter what life has in store for him. I just want to make sure I raise a responsible young man who takes responsibility for his actions.
Maybe the class is curved? STEM classes often are. I got a 37 on a material balances exam this semester, but with some grade-replacement by the professor based on the following exam, I might be looking at a B or B+ in the class. Not that you shouldn’t worry, but he might still be able to pass.
Remember, too, that there may be curves on these tests. My S has gotten 60s which turned out to be the “average” on a test - what you really need to know is where he falls on the curve, and it may not be has bad as you think–especially in math and science classes. Maybe he should go talk to the professors and ask where he currently stands and what he needs to do to pass the class.
This is not your fault. This is not your fault. It doesn’t mean you raised him “wrong” or raised him to be “lazy”. It only means he is trying hard things and not always succeeding. Of course you are worried. Of course you want to DO something.
Stepping in is demanding special treatment, or contacting the dean yourself, or emailing a professor. Being supportive is suggesting strategies, shoring up his executive function shortfalls (by checking in, by reading policies yourself, by framing a path). or figuring out what to do next so you can suggest a plan. And yes, being supportive sometimes means spending tuition money without being sure that makes sense.
Find out if he can take the language class from an online provider and transfer the credits. An advisor should know that, or many schools have a webpage that identifies providers that have transferable credits. Honestly, it is risn’t always “lazy” that’s the culprit. Often, it’s scared, or overwhelmed, or depressed, or adhd, or anxiety…But other people will confidently suggest sink-or-swim. Feel free to ignore that. If you think he needs help, help. People who haven’t been there have no idea how hard it can be. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
Could be a lot of different things that are possible causes. You should try to figure those out as best you can. And try to damage minimize from now to the end of the semester.
Beyond that and based on what you’ve posted, my default assumption would be that this kid will not be attending this school next fall. Then figure out what comes next.
For one of mine, it was working, going to CC, living independently with the expectation of returning to college after one year off. When that didn’t seem to make sense, we said no to the planned college return. After a second year of work, CC classes and plenty of bumps in the road, the kid finally made it back to college full time. In hindsight, we should not have sent the kid for freshman year in the first place based on a big senior slide in HS.
Keep your money in the bank until such future time (if ever) as the kid seems better able to make use of the opportunity. Good luck.
I think it can be within normal limits to have B’s and C’s adjusting to the first semester in college and away from home, especially if college is more rigorous than HS, new social milieu, if he even likes the school and has been able to make friends, amount of time gaming or partying. Maybe the downward spiral is partially due to the focus on grades-understandable due to $$-instead of what’s going on with him. Support him in getting hooked up with campus support programs and personnel; most schools have something. Before going to tough love suggestions here, make sure you start with others around seeking to understand what the issues are without bringing up or focusing on grades.
I just reread your first sentence-that this is a school most kids would be happy to attend. Does this hint that this school isn’t one that YOUR son is thrilled to attend but is prestigious, excellent, etc? If not, you/he may want to revisit if this is what he wanted and if it is s good fit for him.
The math he is failing is calculus 3 and he took this for his gen ed requirements?
And his indented major is polisci or environmental science?
Maybe this young man is over his head because he went to college with the high school mind set of getting the most challenging classes and he really is not in this level yet. I am not advocating fluff classes but maybe he should reconsider how he chooses classes. Especially if he is in a very rigorous college as it looks like.
Calculator 3 for a police science major sounds like
- bad advising
or - hubris superseded reason and adviser .
“I am not advocating fluff classes but”
Actually, I’ll go out on a limb here and suggest that one or two “fluff” classes are not such a bad idea for a kid having trouble adjusting to college in that first year (or for the fall of the second year for a kid who had trouble as a freshman). Taking a balance of courses he feels are manageable can slowly build up his confidence and maturity for more challenging ones. I’ll admit that in our son’s case I made sure that after a bumpy first semester getting some of his more difficult gen ed requirements out of the way we made sure that his second semester focused instead on some of his major requirements–courses that we knew he would enjoy and probably have an easier time doing well in.
I know some may not agree with how I advised my D, but even with HS Calc and IB Math HL, I strongly recommended she take Calc I and II at the college level rather than jump right in to Calc III or higher. From my POV, and hers, HS Calc is a cakewalk compared to Calc I and II at her college. There are kids who slayed Math SATs and the AP exams in HS that are struggling to pass Calc I.
Wishing the best for OP and S. In another week or so, they should have a better idea of what they are dealing with. In the long run, a disastrous first year followed by improving GPA might go down better than a bad semester later on.
I would certainly recommend a balanced schedule (essential at elite schools) , but this would look a bit different for each student. Sometimes it is the language class that is excruciatingly difficult, and one time-consuming class can affect the others, like dominoes. Sometimes the class is not impossible, but students are adjusting to a new mode of instruction.
At many schools and especially at more selective schools, calc 3 is taken by environmental science majors. Even if it is not required (and often it is in fact required), it is a prerequisite for some upper-level classes and many graduate schools, depending on the student’s focus. It is also a requirement at many schools for a geology major. (These majors are not all “Rocks for Jocks!”)
Calc 3 is also sometimes required for some of the social science tracks.
Some schools will have lighter tracks for students preparing for professional schools rather than grad school or direct employment, so a future doctor can skip calc 3 (although they will still need organic chemistry and biology) and a future lawyer might get by with even fewer of these classes.
@CaliCash Sorry to read you are having a tough time. I hope things are looking up.
OP: Even a 43 may not be a fail, depending on how the class did. If he decided he was failing anyway and stopped trying then that class may be a loss. It is not unheard of for kids to fail a class or even two in college. At that point, they have to make a decision: are they willing to put the effort in to do better, or are not.
I know kids that failed and then did fine, graduated on time with decent GPAs. Others had to leave school for a semester and went to CC and then went back and did OK. Some changed schools and finished. One or two decided they did not want to complete college, at least at that time and are working or studying a trade.
Life is long, and 19 is young. It is a difficult balance to not throw away money, while giving a 19 yo a second chance. I don’t think there is any one right answer. To me, the best thing is for him to come up with a plan you can accept with some enforceable provisions. Threats can be difficult - if a kid starts doing poorly, he may stop trying all together if he knows he already blown the deal. I have a friend who had such a deal with her son; he had to got a certain GPA to go back. He didn’t quite make it, but she let him continue anyway and he graduated only one semester late and got a job right away.
I think you’re perhaps misunderstanding the school’s policy. This sounds highly unlikely if not impossible.
I think it is more likely that the school limits students to eight semesters. There might be ways for students to take summer classes, or take classes elsewhere while on leave and then return if needed to keep up with their major and with graduation requirements.