<p>Hi all - my 22 year old just left to go back to school, and all I can think is "who was that person?"! </p>
<p>No problems with staying out late or anything like that, just "Attitude" with a capital A! She knows everything now - enjoys arguing her points of view, and tries to shove them upon everyone else. Respect doesn't seem in her agenda. </p>
<p>I am more able to just "ride it out", and enjoy her when she is fun, but my husband tends to take it personally - both she and my husband morph into different people when they are in the same room - I personally think it is because they are so much alike...</p>
<p>I tried to talk to her about it, but she informed me that she doesn't feel she should have to "change her personality" because she is home. </p>
<p>She says we treat her like a child, and she is a 22 year old adult (said while stomping her feet in anger) - gosh, this is worse than when she was in high school!</p>
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but my husband tends to take it personally -
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<p>Your daughter is 22. How old is your husband? </p>
<p>When my in-laws were going through this with their sons, my MIL finally drew the line with my FIL. She told him to not engage as that leads to it escalating. Of course, the boys (including my husband) didn't know that but they all remembered when their Dad "finally mellowed out." We absolutely howl with laughter over how the boys remember this turn of events!</p>
<p>I think this is the time when our kids have to learn to be adults in someone else's (our) home. Would they treat their friends' parents this way? Argue, etc? Or would they just let some stuff go?</p>
<p>Our oldest is headed back - today - to school after a semester at home doing an internship. We survived, but just barely. Stupid stuff, mostly. But we wouldn't have some other adult living in our home, rent-free, who didn't respect our home and at least be respectful of our right to have opinions. Why should our adult children be able to come home and act that way?</p>
<p>Also, the whole "adult" thing is pretty funny to me (but I am NOT laughing) since I am about to pay rent and tuition for this semester, and he's driving our car for which we pay the insurance. He doesn't try the "I'm an adult" thing around here much, lest I REALLY treat him like one, and use that money (that is NOT extra money just lying around) for some other purpose.</p>
<p>What's wrong with her enjoying arguing her own points of view? Are you angry that she disagrees with you, or upset that she's arguing with you, or both?</p>
<p>I <em>love</em> arguing with my children--teaches them to marshal their facts and present their case.</p>