@CValle - Post #17 is great. Similar experience with my twin sons. I love the “how Dad came around”. Good luck to your D.
Thank you to everyone! I am actually not going anywhere as I have unofficially become a go to person in my community for issues related to applying to colleges in the US. GCs in international schools here leave much to be desired. I will keep my head in the game…and be more prepared when my son heads into the same process in a few years!
Nice post; felt the same way last year. CC is an invaluable resource!
My DD made a similar choice: got into several amazing schools and a fantastic big-ish university (Carnegie Mellon) but decided to go where she felt at home—a women’s LAC (in her case Smith). Maybe they’ll see each other on the bus!
What I encourage parents I know to do is to guide their children along the way - pay attention to the kids a bit older so you can anticipate and get acquainted with what lies in the more immediate future. Elementary school builds foundation for MS, MS for HS. Making sure kids are paying attention to their grades especially starting at freshman year in HS (many kids would be eligible for automatic scholarships but miss the 3.5 GPA requirement.) Both DDs improved scholarships with ACT testing and test prep.I encourage parents to get familiar with ACT/SAT, and visit regional colleges to get a better view on what is available and what to look for. Fortunately for me, we had done a fair amount of this with DD1 in 9th grade (on school days off when colleges were in session, etc). When DD1 was in 10th grade, I had aggressive stage III cancer and was out of commission for a long treatment period (I am now cancer free).
For many talented and well prepared students, there are very good opportunities for UG w/o super expensive.
Key for us was that they could support themselves with UG degree; between scholarship and our planning, both graduated w/o debt. We would be supportive of graduate school/professional school if that was in the cards. 2nd one graduates tomorrow from state flagship with civil and architectural engineering double major; had presidential and generous engineering scholarship. Older one graduated from the medically focused in-state school (city with 30 hospitals) with almost all of tuition covered by scholarship.
I worked for two universities in different non-contiguous states and received UG education in a 3rd far away state. Familiar with a fair range of schools/programs/campuses.
DDs had wonderful educational opportunities before college, and were much more sophisticated students than H and I who were from rural areas but had pretty good academic prep and strong family/family support.
DD1 married a year out of UG and a year later just had a beautiful daughter; will continue her nursing career after 12 week paid leave. DD2 has a very good career ahead of her.
It would blow some people’s minds to think about weddings and grandchildren, esp if graduate school or professional school is in the works. H and I have been married 39 years and are 3 years away from retiring. We are getting tired. Have well funded retirement.
More important decisions than school or major are in personal life choices. Marrying the right person. Can always change college/degree plan/job.
Certainly want the student to make the right choice for UG when there is 4 year merit involved.
Each family has to decide how they can pay for the college choice made and their other priorities with funds.
One of my very smart friends didn’t leave much time for visits when they got down to the wire on selecting a college. They made a very rushed and inconvenient trip. Their DD made the right choice between the two schools IMHO, and parents were glad for the choice too.
@EEKLR01 You asked, “Congrats! Sounds like a long process. I just joined, so sorry if I missed the answers but where what did your daughter apply? You seem to imply that 1550 and perfect grades weren’t enough to get her into some schools. Would you mind sharing details about why?”
The numbers at the most competitive schools (sub 10% acceptance) are just insane. These schools receive many, many more applicants with essentially perfect academic records than there are spots available. We visited a tip-top LAC a few years ago. Admissions said 70% of applicants were fully qualified, and the the school was fully confident that they would succeed academically and otherwise at the school. At the time, it accepted 14% (lower now), so 4 in 5 fully qualified applicants were denied admission. Now do the math at 4.4% or 4.6% or lower (Harvard, Princeton, Chicago), assuming that 70% qualified number.
And it’s really harder for unhooked applicants than even these numbers suggest. I know about a half dozen Stanford admits from our town over the last few years. Every single one was a recruited athlete who was competitive in their sport on a national level. They are included in the approximately 4% number for Stanford, even though they knew they were accepted before they applied, or essentially so. We recently learned that a friend’s kid, who is a very good student, and a great young person, but not necessarily “perfect,” is going to a HYPS-type school. One of their parents had/has a prominent job at the school.
I personally find it uncomfortable that kids feel pressure to go to these schools when a) the odds are stacked so high against them, and b) there really are choices every bit as good with acceptance rates above 20%, above 30%, above 40%. Is a hard-working student at Mount Holyoke or Holy Cross or Rochester or the University of Kansas, especially one who hustles and takes advantage of opportunities (and makes them), really going to learn less than at some of these places? I don’t really think so. In fact, most of the really successful people I know (and they are extremely successful) attended public universities.