A humble request for grading my essay :)

<p>Blue Book Practise Test #2 Essay - Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?</p>

<p>People should not push 'all' the responsibilities on to the government. True that government is the only body that can get something done, but that's not entirely true. People should learn to participate in development. They should not just pay taxes and push over the burden of solving problems on to government. After all, people themselves are facing various problems or lack of development. They know what can be done to get something right or improve. Above all, governing is a 'governing body'. If people come up with solutions, it can govern them and set the problems right.</p>

<p>A friend of mine, John, used to live in a suburb. The place where he lived was not-so-safe. In fact, many perpetrators used to live freely around. But there were normal people too, just like my friend John. But the number of criminals living in there was more. Once, a house was set afire by a few miscreants. They were notorious murderers. When the cops came to investigate, nobody was ready to give a statement, fearing the culprits. The case was ultimately closed. For somebody had come forward testified against them, they would have been jailed. This is one example why people should aid government to get rid of problems.</p>

<p>In our neighbourhood, pollution was a huge problem. The local municipal corporation couldn't do anything about it as there was barely any space left to plant trees. The government could do nothing but urge people to plant more and more trees. Understanding the seriousness of the problem, some nature-loving senior citizens came forward and planted as many trees as possible. This led to severe decrease in pollution levels.</p>

<p>In the north-east parts of India, in the valleys of Kashmir, the government spend a little on development as defence expenditure for this region is very high due to the frequent terror attacks. Kashmir is called "heaven" owing to its natural beauty. But due to the large number of toursits, the problem of garbage was on rise. The government paid a little attention towards this problem. The number of tourists visiting Kashmir started decreasing. Then people came forward and got rid of the garbage to restore the natural beauty.</p>

<p>These are fine examples of how people can actively participate in development in a more sophisticated way.</p>

<p>Word count - 382.</p>

<p>7/12, maybe even an 8/12</p>

<p>-Intro in particular is plagued with grammar mistakes. Try to save a minute or two after you finish to read the essay over.</p>

<p>-Sentence structure is a bit unvaried
-Examples are OK, but more elaboration on the conclusions is needed.
-Note that the prompt doesn’t necessarily mention “government,” but rather whether people should take more action.</p>

<p>I would say you have “competent, adequate mastery” and mainly need to demonstrate a greater facility of language in those short 25 minutes.</p>

<p>8/12.</p>

<p>if it hit 2 full pages, maybe a 10</p>