Can someone please grade my essay ;)

Test Preparation
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<p>Assignment: Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?</p>

<pre><code>Many Americans tend to burden the government with all the problems they face in their daily lives. Although the welfare of a nation must always be the government's paramount consideration, the government need not necessarily solve all of the individuals’ problems. The government cannot solve the problems common to the whole society unless ordinary people feel authorized to make changes and try to solve the problems themselves.

Since the early 20th century, Earth's mean surface temperature has increased by about 0.8 °C and, as a result, sea levels have risen to about 7 inches and the carbon dioxide level in the atmosphere has risen higher than at any point in the last millennia. The serious problem that shakes scientists to the core is called “global warming.” This phenomenon caused by the destruction of the ozone layer in presence of chlorine-containing source gases (aerosols, deodorants, etc.) is a serious problem that every individual can solve. Individuals should be aware of the portents of this disastrous issue and should try to follow the ideas that the government constantly gives them. However, contriving plans cannot just lead global warming to its end. No matter how much money the government lavishly pours into, the issue will not be concluded unless the individuals take on their role.

However, movement by individuals does not have to spread nationwide to be effective. The “Clean-up Organization” in Australia, which draws volunteers from all over the globe, has not only empowered communities to clean up, fix up, and conserve their environment, but also engaged in recycling wastes, planting trees, and conserving and reusing water. This non-governmental organization eventually convinced the government to pass a law and to make their propensities permanent.

Standing against our nations problems is a duty for all people; it is like monkeys who try to protect themselves by running together toward the predator to scare it away. Not only the government, but also the individuals should help the government in it’s attempts. By the support of the government and the citizens’ reaction the world can become a better place.
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<p>So many views but no response… Come on people, help :D</p>

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<p>5/6. You have convinced me that the government isn’t able to solve all of the problems and that individual citizens need to do their part, but you have not clearly defined what their role is, and why that should be their role. You are also using awkward vocabulary in an attempt to squeeze in “SAT words,” but it doesn’t sound good. What you are doing is cluttering every sentence with unnecessary adjectives and wordiness–things that the SAT doesn’t like if you think of the writing multiple choice.</p>

<p>Also, this sentence wasn’t very appropriate in my opinion: “it is like monkeys who try to protect themselves by running together toward the predator to scare it away.”</p>

<p>Just overall, your argument isn’t well defined. You need a stronger thesis statement; I was really close to giving you a 4/6.</p>