<p>I am a senior in high school. It has been my dream to attend USNA since I was 4. This being said, I've researched the school and the navy in general like crazy so I think I know a thing or two about it.
However, now I have a topic I really don't know what to do about. A couple of weeks ago I met a soon-to-be plebe and we really hit it off I guess. Okay that's an understatement but it's not like we're in a relationship or anything. We just have a TON in common and have very strong feelings toward eachother considering how long we've known eachother. He is now just a couple of days into PS and insisted I write to him while he's going through hell. Now obviously I have no problem writing to him and all of that. The thing is, I live in MD only about 25 min away from the Academy. He lives in PA about 4 hours away. So for ppw I assumed it would just be his parents and his family coming down to see him. However, he keeps insisting that I come and saying that his family wants to meet me and they don't mind sharing him with me and whatever. I've really always thought of ppw as being for families to reconnect with their plebes and possibly long-term girlfriends. Now I know I can just stop by (I have a car) for an hour or so and say hi, but do you guys think this is really my place AT ALL??? </p>
<p>Also, him and I discussed a potential relationship and we realize it's not at all practical. However, will I be able to see him at all during plebe year? Like if I drive up and just take him out to lunch? or maybe at his sponsor's house?
Sorry but one more question... he mentioned something about a homecoming dance that seems to fall on the same night as my senior homecoming dance... I don't mind missing mine for various unrelated reasons but I kind of have to figure that stuff out soon because my friends are planning to go all out this year.. soo is the dance even for plebes and is it worth it?</p>
<p>Sorry for the long post and I know I probably seem like a desperate, immature kid with a stupid crush right now, but that's why I made a different name to post this from ;)</p>
<p>I understand that Plebes can drag now (someone correct me if I'm wrong), so you'll be able to see him, but you will NOT be able to just "drive up and just take him out to lunch".</p>
<p>I'll leave the details to more current Mids who know the current regs better.</p>
<p>Clearly, the decision on whether to come to PPW is going to be between the family, the plebe, and you. I cannot make any recommendations.</p>
<p>During the academic year, you can spend time together whenever he has yard/town liberty. Town liberty is usually noon to 10pm on Saturdays; yard liberty is usually on Sunday 8am until 1pm. On town liberty, he is not restricted to the yard, but on yard liberty he is (as it implies)....so, on a Sunday, you would have to stay on the yard to meet him.</p>
<p>If you want to make your new friend's mom and dad happy, I would say don't come to PPW, but as jadler03 says, there are other opportunities during the academic year. There's also a plebe dance something in the early fall.</p>
<p>Re: PPW, I would leave it up to your mid....encourage him to discuss it with his family first, but a limited visit would seem reasonable....keeping it to an hour or 2 visit seems most accomodating! The key is not to push- and not to draw any inferences if the answer comes back as "no- don't come".... chances are they will welcome your visit, especially if it is for just a short time....but perhaps they might perfer you come at another time.... so ask the question, and go with the answer...that would be my suggestion. Communication is key.</p>
<p>As for visiting the yard- come the academic year, your mid will have town liberty on saturdays- noon until 10.... so a trip to the mall, a movie, dinner, walking around town- all possible. He will have to hoof it or take a bus however (if I am correct, they can only ride with family members or sponsors)... but it's an easy bus ride to the mall and movies.</p>
<p>Yard liberty on Sunday is possible- but it can be a bit harder.... plebes are not allowed to sit on the yard- ( I think the exception is Drydock- only if they have a guest).</p>
<p>Just remember...no PDA's...public display of attention...
you can't hold his hand, but you can take his arm.
Discrete is a good operational word.</p>
<p>There are other opportunities to visit.... for short times after football games, the plebe formal....
but here again, don't make plans without asking first- you never know when family are planning visits-</p>
<p>So what is absolutely KEY is to wait for the invite and not just show up.... you never know how much work is waiting for them back in their rooms, or if when they have watch, or restriction, etc..... or if they need time with their new friends or squad.....or family.... or just time to "chill".....the demands can be many....so stay flexible, and don't take things personally. That would be my best advice.</p>
<p>Best of luck!<br>
Sorry you had to feel like you needed to hide behind another name-</p>
<p>Seeing tons of relationships work and fail (mostly fail) during four years, I'd say that being 25 min. away makes it one of the most practical situations possible. You have the opportunity to see him every week which is alot more than most mid GFs will ever be able to say. This is obviously a very personal matter, however I'd say its definitely feasible... If you end up at the Academy then things could get tricky, and you may have to keep everything on the DL, however, there are some special rules about pre-existing relationships, although I can't comment on the details.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for your responses!
I was afraid I would never be able to see him, so this was at least somewhat encouraging.
That sucks that he wouldn't be able to drive with me though, but I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out.</p>
<p>Oh, and for ppw he said that his parents actually WANT me to come. I mean I've never met them though and while I have no problem coming up for that I just have always got the feeling that it's a family ordeal so should I just tell him that I'm uncomfortable invading his family time?</p>
<p>I forgot to mention, as well, that I will not actually be applying to the naval academy due to medical issues (majorly bummed) but at least that won't complicate things more.</p>
<p>again, I would not make any assumptions-either way.
he may want you to visit.
his family may want to meet you.
they may want that to happen on ppw.
they may want that to happen later on- another weekend.</p>
<p>just ASK- have your mid ask, or ask if they can call you, or you them. but ASK.</p>
<p>If you do end up going, I very much like your plan of keeping your part of the visit short... like an hour or 2.... i think that is very respectful of "family time" on your part! Meeting them perhaps over dinner on one evening might be a good compromise that everyone can live with.... but the conversation between your mid and his parents needs to come first!</p>
<p>My son started dating his current girlfriend at the end of his senior year in HS. He knew her several years prior but they didn't date. My wife and I just stood back and let them be. She didn't go to I-day but my son wanted her to come to PPW and she did and all worked out. We got to know her better even though I did coach her in HS. She has been the light at the end of the tunnel for him and they are still dating. My wife understands and doesn't mind and that is probably the key. If the mom says it's ok, it'll work out, if the mom doesn't want the gf there at PPW, the tension isn't worth it. As far as we're concerned life is too short and my wife and I would rather be part of the solution than actually become a burden. I would visit PPW if his parents want to meet you and enjoy the visit. If they invite you back the next day, then go if you feel comfortable.</p>
<p>I met my wife as a NAPSter and she lived in Bowie. We dated all four years and have been married 25 years and going. It can work out and does; however, it is definitely not the case in the majority of relationships, but that is almost true in all of life. Some plebes/Mids do better having girlfriends (especially gf's who are not demanding of their time), and others are much better off without the distraction, and no one is better off getting a "Dear John or Dear Jill" letter especially Plebe summer. </p>
<p>All the best...sounds like his parents are pretty understanding.</p>