<p>I was accepted to a third tier school with full tuition + 3k stipdend. My gf was accepted to University of houston (idk how good it is-but it's not as good as mine). She's not really on the same academic level as me. She scored a 16 on the ACT...i got above 2100 on the SAT.</p>
<p>However I really love her. We've been together for almost a year now. *She's my best friend and my love. I can't imagine life without her. * When she's gone for a couple days I get pretty depressed. Anyways I could go to the same school shes going to, i'm going to negotiate for full tuition at the school this week. However i'm in the top 1-2% of the school and will probably feel. </p>
<p>I feel as if that i'll fall into a major depression if I don't go to the same school as her. I'm scared that we'll grow apart and i'll lose the love I have. I'm scared I won't be happy again. Most importantly, i'm scared i'll get so depressed i'll commit suicide. I rely on my happiness so much from her it's almost crazy. </p>
<p>You really need to go to a school that will stimulate you academically if you are to get through all four years of college. With that said, depending on anyone for your own happiness is quite a burden for the other person. Instead of spending time trying to get money out of GF’s school today, why not sit down and talk to your parents about seeing a therapist that can give you a solid foundation of mental health before you step foot on campus? You sound clinically depressed to me and your GF is your drug. That is a very unfair situation for you both and hopefully you will seek some help. Good luck to you and please take time to talk to an adult you trust.</p>
<p>I agree with college shopping though I think you should take comfort to know that your feelings as a boyfriend at this age are not that unusual. You should definitely stick with your original plan. Is your gf encouraging you to grow–at the different institution ? --(not univ. Of Houston). I hope so.</p>
<p>Also do what’s best for you. Graduate with the best degree possible at low debt, and think about what a great partner you will be for your future wife (whoever that might be) with no college debt and great career prospects. Make your education the priority for the next 4 years. Hopefully your gf will support you in this. Congrats to her, too, on her plans to attend the Univ of Houston.</p>
<p>liam79, if you are meant for each other you will make it work. My husband and I spent three long years on opposite coasts while we were in grad school. We got the educations that were right for us and allowed us to spend the next 30+ years happily together.</p>
<p>Don’t come crashing down on me for this, but in my opinion and observation you may be “in love” and happy with her now, but the chances of a healthy long-term relationship for either of you is slim with such an intellectual disparity. Saying this because you have already acknowledged that she is not in the same academic level. You will always know it, so will she. Real life is so much more difficult than first romance and unless she’s bringing something somewhat equal to the table your discussions about finances, life goals, family decision etc. will all be much more difficult. Not impossible or unheard of, but the successful marriages I know of are on a more even playing field.</p>
<p>I made a similar naive decision by attending college close to my boyfriend freshman year, although I knew he would never be on a similar intellectual level. Figured that out pretty quickly and transferred to a better school where I met my future husband. Life is tough, handicapping yourself by denying the education that best fits you is no way to start things.
and, like the poster above - if you are meant to be then you can survive a long-distance relationship.</p>
<p>I am sure if your girlfriend, her parents or yours read the above post they would be horrified! You cannot put such a burden on another person as to say you will kill yourself if they leave you. That is abusive and emotional blackmail of the highest order. If I was your girlfriend I would run a mile from such demands. You need to speak to your parents about this RIGHT NOW and get professional help.</p>
<p>Liam,
I’d suggest you consult with a counselor/psychologist. The type of relationship you are describing is neither healthy for you or for her, so if you care about your future together I’d suggest seeing someone.
As for the school - you should attend the school that fits YOU best academically, regardless of where she is going. True loves leaves no traces, and if you’re meant to be, attending different schools should not make or brake you.</p>
<p>One of the reasons I was happy to go away to college was because my HS BF did say he couldn’t live w/o me & I found that suffocating. Shortly after I left, he married his co-worker! It is NOT healthy to have your whole life revolve around another person or thing & counseling will help you get straight, the sooner the better. It’s too heavy a burden for any other person or thing to expect to fill.</p>
<p>Thank you for the responses, I truly appreciate them. I knew the relationship was unhealthy but just needed to hear it from someone else. I’m going to see a psychologist to help in the meantime.</p>
<p>Good. Do not change your college plans. Let the psychologist help you- the fear of her loss is just a symptom of underlying issues. You did well to call out for help. You can move forward and do well with your future, regardless of how it feels right now.</p>