So I’m a freshman at a public university in NC… I thought it was my dream school and now that I’m actually attending it, I’m not in love. It’s not that I hate it, I just don’t have that great of a vibe towards it. Maybe it’s because we don’t have that much school pride? (I.e. No football team, low ranked basketball team). But my biggest struggle is that I don’t fit in. On my hall, everyone is a stoner or an alcoholic. I occasionally party. And by occasionally I mean once a month if that. But I hardly have any girl friends… Most of the people I have met just like to party or are complete biocthes towards me! I am definitely going to transfer next year… But I’m scared I won’t find any friends at my next school as well. It’s not like I’m isolating myself. I’m involved with clubs, I go to the gym, hangout in the common room, go to parties, talk to people in my classes, but still I’m stuck with hardly any friends at all. And it’s making me depressed and jealous of all the girls that are finding the best friend of their dreams within the first week here. Anyone else going through a similar problem?
Don’t assume others have found the friend of their dreams. Since you are putting yourself out there, just try to relax about forcing friendships and let them unfold. Sometimes when we let go of the press that is when it finally happens. Sorry to hear that are not satisfied with your school, keep your studies in shape so that if you apply to transfer that performance doesn’t hold you back.
Some people, like yourself need time to get to know people and others find their so-called best friends in one day. Often those fast forming friendships don’t last as long as the ones that started out slower but are more authentic. I see that kind of stuff with my teen and her high school. Girls tell each other they love each other 5 minutes after meeting and act like bffs, but two weeks later they have moved on. In your case you need to figure out if there is something you can try that you haven’t tried yet. In the meantime talke to a college counselor about how you feel depressed. They may have some good suggestions for you.
Hey…do you go to my school, by any chance?
…or could it be UNC Asheville?