<p>This thread reminds me of parents that used to put “Shhhh Baby Sleeping” signs on their front doors when their kids were infants. </p>
<p>We continued to live when our infant slept. Cleaned, vacuumed, did dishes, had phone conversations, watched TV, and ESPECIALLY showered. With him in the room- it was the only time we COULD shower!! He can sleep through most anything now. And I would be shocked to hear a complaint from him that someone was showering late at night.</p>
<p>And I completly disagree with SteveMA, I do not think that your daughter is being selfish. And I do not think that your daughter has “MANY other options”. But I do think that they should be able to work this out between them somehow.</p>
<p>vlines–we did the same things with our kids, including vacuuming in their rooms while they were sleeping. I have one kid that can sleep through anything, one that can sleep through most things and 2 that wake up at the drop of a pin. It is RUDE beyond RUDE to wake someone up at 1:00 AM, period. </p>
<p>Put it this way, the OP’s DD starts her first job and has a habit of tapping her pen on her desk. The 3 people in the cube around her have all asked her to stop as it is annoying. The D says it’s the only way she can concentrate. Should the other 3 just put up with it??? When the simple answer is to stop, no, the rest of the office should not have to put up with it, nor will they. This D needs to figure out, along with her mom, that the world does not revolve around her. She is causing the issue, not the SM. The SM is just SLEEPING, what most people would be doing at 1 AM. She is the norm, the D is not.</p>
<p>This has got to be one of the stangest threads I have ever seen on cc. This boils down to learning to live with others and really has nothing to do with who’s rude, whose schedule is more “normal” for a college student, or what the roommate making the request should be doing instead. One roommated has asked another not to do something. There are basically three options.</p>
<ol>
<li>Comply with the request</li>
<li>Ignore the request and invite roommate to pursue plans to move out</li>
<li>Engage in a tit for tat battle of petty annoyances (fine, I’ll quit showering as long as your bf doens’t come over any more).</li>
</ol>
<p>^^Agree, it is one of the most intriguing threads I’ve read. I was completely shocked to find that people thought it was fine for the roommate to shower at 1 AM when the other roommate had asked her not to. For those of us who pick your #1, it seems like such a small, small request. But, I guess if you take a step back it’s the tiny little things that can blow up and end marriages, friendships, work relationships etc. as evidenced by the fact that the roomie is now screaming and threatening to move out…clearly the unwillingness to change is or is going to become a dealbreaker for the roomie.</p>
<p>While this is not one of the strangest threads I’ve read on cc I am surprised by how a little common courtesy seems to be so difficult to muster.</p>
<p>Comments like this scare me because it makes me wonder if our young people are not developing common sense. So much these days is regulated, documented, and reported – I worry that perhaps young people do not feel comfortable making decisions that require common sense? Krilly do you REALLY not understand that this is about common sense? Do you really not get that noise impacts people differently and that what bothers one person might not bother another person? Do you really not get that when you share a space with someone, be it a bedroom, or a suite, or an open office situation, or a house…that there is give and take? Do you really not get that it doesn’t take “written” rules in a handbook to govern how you live and how you interact?</p>
<p>I’m sending this thread link to a friend who has a syndicated radio show I think she would be pretty darned surprised and I think it might make an interesting talk segment.</p>
<ol>
<li>Work out a compromise with the roommate. Shower at midnight or 11 on weekdays, or only take the 1AM shower every other night or whatever two presumably intelligent college kids can come up with?</li>
</ol>
<p>Momofthreeboys, take it easy. Compromise is an easy solution to a whole lot of problems. And one a.m. shower issues is laughable as a deadlock situation. However, I dont think the noise rule should be brought into the argument because what about people like me for example who like to take 6 a.m. showers. Yes, youre right common sense and etiquette is quite enough.</p>
<p>I am a very light sleeper- blame my mom if you insist- but as I was very colicky, I understand her desire to encourage me to sleep when I could.
But as a result, I wake up at the drop of a hat. I used to wake up when the cat would come and sit on the end of my bed sending me thoughtwaves to get up & let her out. ( & in, & out…)
My H showers at 4 am, ( he leaves for work at 5am), but I am awake at 3:25 am, because his alarm starts to go off at 3:30.
Since the RA usually helps mediate schedule conflicts, Im wondering what their take has been?</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s a noise issue. All we really know is the suite mate has requested a room change. The OP’s daughter has told her mother it’s over 1 am showers, but we really don’t know if that’s the only reason.</p>
<p>My advice depends on which suitemate is my daughter. If it’s the light sleeper, I’d advise her to get earplugs or a fan. If it’s the shower-er, I’d tell her she needed to find a time to shower that didn’t bother the roommate.</p>
<p>In other words, whichever side my daughter may be on, I’d advise her to fix the problem by changing her own behavior rather than someone else’s.</p>
<p>OP - in one post you meantioned that suitemates boyfriend was over playing hanky panky a lot. Is it possible that suitemate’s boyfriend is part of the problem? Such as he’s really the one who doesn’t want the shower running at 1 am or perhaps suitemates boyfriend thinks your DD is cute?</p>
I am surprised by how a little common courtesy seems to be so difficult to muster.</p>