<p>The best way to make friends is to join an activity. Suggest he join a club.</p>
<p>Just keep being nice to other people. Laugh at their jokes, even if they are lame.</p>
<p>“Since your son was a team captain in a sport, it would seem like getting involved in club or intramural sports would be a good fit that would both connect him with future friends and relieve stress through physical activity.” -PAMOM</p>
<p>Great advice.</p>
<p>Hunt (#20), I agree. It irks me when RAs are clueless and not doing their JOB. It makes no sense to dump the freshmen in a building for upperclassmen and expect them to fend for themselves. Even if the RA takes no action on this, the OP’s son needs to summon the courage to march over to the freshman dorm and introduce himself. “Hey, I’m __<strong><em>, stuck in _</em></strong>_dorm…” A sense of humor about his “imprisonment” may help, too. I’m guessing they’d welcome him to their activities with open arms.</p>
<p>JC, I don’t have any additional advice but ++++++ things get better for your son soon. </p>
<p>Had lunch with a friend today who I hadn’t seen in awhile who told me her freshman son was put in with a roommate who is a Junior! She said the first few weeks were “not so good” for him. I was completely blown away that a school would house a Freshman in a double with a Junior. </p>
<p>My son’s dorm has all classes in it (he didn’t want to be in any of the all freshman dorms) but the freshman are together in groups of 6-8 rooms throughout the dorm.</p>
<p>I was just thinking, you could contact Housing and if you don’t get anywhere maybe your school has a Parent and Family resource you could contact. At S2’s school they have a Parent and Family office (they even have a very helpful Facebook page) that said at orientation to contact them for anything. They might have some helpful suggestions.</p>
<p>JC, I feel your agony. It’s so hard when they’re hurting and you’re far away.</p>
<p>Definitely push him to go on the retreat. I’m sure they’ll have some kind of icebreaker-type activities; even if he thinks they’re “lame”, they should let him meet a few more people. And the dumbness of the activities will give them all something to laugh about. Even though my daughter is starting to participate in other activities, she still socializes mostly with the people she met in her pre-orientation activity (Habitat for Humanity); she says it helps her to have the “shared experiences” with them.</p>
<p>I don’t really think it’s so bad to get to know sophomores, juniors, seniors…why does a freshman have to only hang out with other freshmen? As a freshman, my D participated in several groups on campus, all of which had members of different ages (even some alumni). I don’t think most college students are that hung up on only meeting their own cohort. D took a campus-sponsored trip to Yosemite National Park during the summer, and most of the others were grad students from other countries. She had a great time with them. It’s not high school anymore. After high school, when in life are you only going to hang out with people who are exactly the same age as you? Time to loosen up a bit.</p>
<p>It takes time to make friends.</p>
<p>I agree, going to the retreat would probably be a good idea. Also, what extra curriculars is he involved in on campus? Does he have a campus job? If he didn’t get an ideal dorm placement, he’s going to have to focus on meeting people outside of his dorm. One of the best ways to do that is to get involved in a campus activity. If he doesn’t want to make the commitment to varsity sports, he should think about joining a club sport or intramural, even if it’s something he’s never done before (rugby? ultimate frisbee? Quidditch?). Or he can join a club? </p>
<p>Starting a study group is also a good way to meet people who are in your your year and also in your classes. You may not get a lot of studying done, but it’s a nice, informal way to meet with new people. </p>
<p>It’s also still pretty early in the semester for him to worry too much. These things have a way of working out nicely in time, even if they seem immediately very worrisome.</p>
<p>I wanted to revive this thread since my son is currently going through the same issue. Any other suggestions? What has worked or hasn’t worked?</p>
<p>Most likely your son is taking classes with other freshpeeps. He should start connecting with people in class…ask them what the homework was. Ask them for help on a problem. Better yet offer help on a problem.</p>
<p>Join a club. Whenever my kids start a new school, I tell them to go join two clubs.</p>
<p>He could talk to an RA and ask if he could create a dorm freshman mixer. Offer free food and they will come.</p>
<p>3kidsforcollege - you may want to start a fresh thread in the Parent’s forum/cafe that way your post doesn’t get lost in this thread. I’m sure you will get lots of great advice and suggestions.</p>
<p>I’m sorry your son is having a difficult time – as parents, we suffer right along with them. Best of luck to him.</p>