<p>Update: The school seems to have picked up on it. Apparently they (IB Coordinator and Councelor) have called him down and strongly suggested he get his act together soon or quit the IB Program next year.</p>
<p>He has slowly begun putting in effort but he doesn't start until 9 or 10 sometimes. Then he either stays up all night or does it in the morning.</p>
<p>I'm glad he's improving but a kid can't perform well in school if they stay up all night. He should start earlier and his distractions shouldn't be available to him if he doesn't manage his time responsibly. A parent can help with this by restricting access to the computer/internet, games, TV, etc.</p>
<p>There is software you can use to limit your son's Internet time. I found a chart listing the features of different software packages here: Internet</a> Filter Software Review 2008 You may not want to use the filtering or monitoring but just the time limits.</p>
<p>If your son still refuses to go to school when you tell him he must, you could send an email to the school (since that might be easier for you with limited speaking skills....but you are doing very well with email!). I would send it to an assistant principal and ask him/her what you can do. They might have a truant officer escort him to school. If you tell you son that you will be calling a truant officer to come if he does not go to school, I think he will go on his own.</p>
<p>I agree with other posters about talking again to his therapist and talking to the school counselor as well as trying to get your son to talk, but you may need to do these other things, too. You ESPECIALLY need limit his computer time!</p>
<p>I agree with ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad regarding staying up all night. My kids could not function the next day if they stayed up all night. If it were me, I'd be setting my alarm every hour on the hour past midnight to see exactly what he was doing during the early morning hours. Especially with the issues you are having with him. Bottom line...his health and well-being are the most important things right now and you need to get to the bottom of what is bothering him. He may have slowly begun to start putting in an effort as you say, but you both still haven't talked about the issue at hand.</p>
<p>You sound like such a loving parent. There is such good advice here. I think he is being bullied. This is how our son acted when he was and he never came to me although we are close. He said he was ashamed. Please go to your son and tell him that no matter what you love him and even if he cannot perform at school, you will love him unconditionally. I would investigate if he is having an inappropriate relationship online by monitoring him. He can be being bullied online! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO IS SHOW HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT AND THAT HE CAN COME TO YOU> He sounds depressed and this can lead to dangerous avenues. God bless you and your family.</p>
<p>Concerned mom-- watching a child withdraw is not easy. Your son sounds to me like he feels as if he's being put under a lot of pressure. He ay see a lot of kids in his school doing what they want/defying parents/hanging out and want to emulate them. Yet he may be conflicted because in another sense he wants to achieve something later on. So, he is in a holding pattern.</p>
<p>Opening up to him, creating time together, listening to him-- he may need all of that, plus seeing a school social worker or psychologist or an outside therapist as well. He may think you won't understand him. But if you are willing to listen, he may open up.</p>
<p>I hate to say this, but also sometimes a parent has to be a bit of a snoop if they think their child is in some kind of trouble. Absolutely find a way to monitor what he does online! And good luck. Please keep us posted on your son's progress.</p>
<p>timely, thank you so much for that link -- we just installed some time-limiting software on our computer to keep my 15 year old from overdoing it, as is his wont. This will save all of us a lot of arguing! Thanks again.</p>
<p>Has his therapist suggested a consultation with a psychiatrist, to determine the severity of a depression and possible medication? I would certainly be concerned about a child refusing school; I'd look for signs of depression, e.g. weight loss, sleep habits changing, withdrawal from peers, loss of interest in activities, poor self esteem, signs of abuse, and so on.</p>