For the record I do not like either of my roommates. They are bffs which makes them a package deal. If you have a problem with one you have a problem with the other. Any who, we had a tiff about the temp. They wanted to double gang me and have me submit to sleeping in unreasonably hot conditions. Needless to say I stood up for myself. Since then the roommate who initiated the confrontation has been really testing my nerves. We had a temp agreement then she ignored it. So I took it upon myself to change the temp settings to whatever I wanted since that was the general message being sent. The morning after her glorious bff sends a “holier art than thou” text claiming how disrespected she felt. Again held my own in a texting war (that I did not initiate). Recently, I received a text from the one I share a restroom with. We set a cleaning schedule, and that was all fine and dandy. I pulled my weight when it came to cleaning, but I noticed that she just kept leaving the restroom a mess. I have come in to find period stains on the toilet seat, half flushed tampons, hair on the floor, and her makeup/toothpaste in the sink. I don’t claim to be a saint, but when I use the restroom (because I despise restrooms) I make a strong effort to pick up after myself. When I clean I deep clean the restroom, but I noticed that she wasn’t doing the same so I let up. I honestly felt like I was being taken advantage of. When I came back from xmas break the restroom hadn’t been touched so she cleaned up when she realized I was home, then again the week after she left a mess in the restroom. The following week I went out of town, but cleaned the restroom as soon as I made it back. Weeks go by and she doesn’t touch the restroom, meanwhile I clean the tub out nearly everyday to prevent scum from building up on the base. Then I receive this long rude drawn out text from her about how she doesn’t feel that it’s fair that I do not clean the bathroom. But as usual her usual messes had built up in the restroom evident of her lack of tidiness. I do not mind doing my part, but I also do not think a cleaning schedule means being a complete slob in the mean time. I don’t like having to defend my character, these are just two instances. Can I just ignore the texts? I don’t message them at all outside of a monthly bill I have to post. Advice please?
Talk to your RA.
Why don’t the BFFs share a BF instead?
Of course you can ignore her texts. You can pretend she doesn’t live there and just deal with the resulting mess yourself. But it might be easier if you just suggest - in person, not via text - that since the current schedule has not been working for either of you, perhaps there is some other solution to the problem. Like cleaning up after yourselves each and every time either of you uses the bathroom. Or one of you moving out. Or agreeing to lower standards of cleanliness than either of you like - and whoever hates it more can fix it (which is the current system). This isn’t a matter of ‘disrespect’ or anything else: It’s a matter of agreeing on what the standard is and taking turns to maintain it however you can agree to do it. Just so you know, lots of marriages involve cleanliness negotiations of this kind with the difference being that both parties (usually) have an incentive to work it out. (Spouse and I hired a third party because we got tired of discussing who was doing more.)
@mom2collegekids its a real apartment. The other roommate claimed to have more stuff before we moved in so we all conceded in letting her have everything of her own. Then sharing would mean me moving to the larger room and that’s not going to happen.
@N’s mom I agree with you, whichis eexactly why I clean after myself when Iuse the restroom. My roommate is upset because she wants me to clean when she wants me to clean. I do not have a problem cleaning but when someone is a complete slob in the restroom they should also maintain their own mess in between our cleaning schedule. Also I don’t text matters of importance. They just want an avenue to be rude without having someone defend themselves.
Only a few months left! Move out when you get the chance.
If they like to sleep in a hot room and you don’t, they should share one. Why don’t they share the larger room?
In terms of cleaning, they shouldn’t be flushing tampons anyway. Sure theoretically you can, but it’s not a good idea as your situation illustrates. Wrap it in toilet paper and put it in the wastebasket. Put a bag in the wastebasket for easy cleaning. (I think you’re just going to have to clean the tub more often if you have higher standards: that’s the way things are, whether you are roommates or a married couple.)
It sounds like you all did the right things in the first place by establishing a cleaning schedule and a thermostat compromise. If they won’t abide by either, renegotiation is in order. If that fails, I guess you have no alternative but to look for another living situation ASAP. In the meantime, you are not required to suffer in an overheated apartment. They can always wear a sweater. There is a limit to what you can remove. I think that people who prefer warmer bedrooms often fail to realize that while they can use a down comforter or the like, some of us really find it almost impossible to sleep in a hot room.