<p>Songman--we ARE living parallel lives. If it wasn't for the internet, I don't think my second son would have any friends. But he keeps in touch with a lot of people that way. One person he hadn't seen since 5th grade saw his name on Facebook and contacted him. He is not shy online, but it is kind of hard for him in real life, unless he is very comfortable in his environment. He is actually doing pretty well (second year at UChicago). I thought it would be too intense/competitive/hard, but the atmosphere there seems to be just so well suited to him, (so many like him there, I guess!) he is coming out of his shell there. He just seems more relaxed now and comfortable with who he is than he ever did. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, probably triggered by some of the discussion on this thread, and I think for my kids the environment they are in is so so important. People talk about "fit" here a lot, and seem to go overboard, but you know, when a kid finds it, finds his place, it is just so great. </p>
<p>And Junebug, wow, my second son sounds similar in some ways to yours. I begged him to go to summer camp, looked up all KINDS of interesting things and he refused. He basically never went anywhere until summer after jr. year. He got the mailing from Harvard Summer School and decided he wanted to go. It was pricey, but I rationalized that we had spent $0 dollars on summer stuff on him up to that point, so we sent him off. I know there are those on here that pooh pooh these kinds of programs, esp. Harvard Summer School, but for him it was a very good experience. The classes were fine and he did well, but more importantly he learned a lot about himself and what he wanted while there. It got him into a new environment and expanded his horizons. </p>
<p>My daughter went to Concordia Language Camps after her sophomore year, and it has sparked an interest in languages, and she is trying to self study in order to take Spanish 2 (skip beginning Spanish) her senior year. Very motivating. And the reason we sent her there was because she didn't get into a science program COSMOS, and she was so looking forward to going away, and so we scrambled and came up with the German camp kind of late in the spring. And now she wants to go back again (it would be her third summer doing that if she does) and spend a year in Germany before college. Funny how some of these things that you just stumble onto can set one on a completely different course. I'm actually trying to get her to consider a couple of things for this summer, but what she really wants is to do something with languages, so that is probably what she'll do. She is pretty stubborn once she makes up her mind about something. </p>
<p>These programs are a little pricey, but it seems like finding something like that, where your kid can find others his/her age that are interested in the same things he is can be very motivating. It could be a team sport, it could be band camp, it could be some science thing, but something that gives a child a feeling of belonging to something worthwhile and a sense of accomplishing something important to him, (along with some positive stroking by coaches/teachers/camp counselors/peers) if you can find it, can be a very good thing.</p>
<p>Oh, and if you do go out to dinner, go somewhere that requires a bit of a drive. Something about being in a car, not having to make eye contact can get my sons talking on a wide variety of topics, some that wouldn't come up any other way.</p>