<p>Would anyone here mind giving a little feedback for my common app essay? Since 99% of top schools' deadlines are over, I feel safe enough to post my essay online for a little feedback. I just need some opinions from adults -- some tips would be great too because I still need to submit my app for Georgetown. Anyway, here it is</p>
<p>Rhythm and tempo are the chains that bind my soul, for I am a servant of sound. Blast some music, and I can tell a story. I scrutinize songs, looking for new ways to interpret their beats. I am a Hip-Hop historian, fluent in the repertoire of Big Daddy Kane, The Roots, and Rakim. My iPod is a melting pot, with tracks ranging from 80s funk to the latest pop hits. </p>
<p>With or without my diverse collection of music playing in the background, a five-second handstand is accolade-worthy to bystanders, but not to me. I can disprove Newtons laws by suspending my body in the air on one elbow and redefine motion by hopping in circles on one hand. I crave spins, whether on the palm of my hand or on the back of my shoulders. I write with my right hand, but rotate with my left. </p>
<p>The hallway behind the high school store is a second home for my crewmates and me. I train as hard as any athlete, and the floor of that hallway, covered with skid-marks from my Nikes, can attest to such a claim. Large open spaces are my best friends, and carpet is my worst enemy. Where theres a smooth surface and ample space, there will be music roaring from my portable speakers. </p>
<p>I am a klutz in gym class and an assassin on the dance floor. I can identify every move in the film Step Up 3D, I dream of appearing on MTV, and I confess to busting moves to the theme song of Pokemon. I cannot go a day without hearing the phrase show me your moves! Friends beg me to reveal my technique; adults remind me of the importance of safety, and children ask me if Im a robot. </p>
<p>Through my movements I channel my creative desires; I strive to invent, whether in the classroom or on the floor. My experimentation is a fuel for spontaneous combinations and insightful discussion. I am on a perpetual quest for ideas, taking pride in my innovations while using the world as my inspiration. </p>
<p>My ability augments my growth as an individual; countless hours spent on mastering moves imbues in me a powerful work ethic, and numerous performances in front of piercing eyes makes my fear of public speaking a thing of the past. I hone my facility in the art of interaction, using the fortitude gained from the practice of my craft as a spur of many interesting conversations. </p>
<p>My passion stems from a desire to try something new and builds from a longing to reach seemingly impossible goals. Cheers and applause infuse me with confidence, and sighs of disappointment instill in me the motivation to improve. I am open to critique and drawn to improvement. I value my mistakes, hoping to gain new insight from every slip and loss of balance. I will always aspire to become the best I can be.</p>
<p>I am a break-dancer.</p>