Approaching people

<p>Is the cafeteria a good place to approach people?
Lets say I wanna approach a guy..they usually eat in groups so how would i do that. I was thinking tapping one of them on a shoulder and asking if I could eat with them but idk. I dont want them thinking who the is the chick.
Any tips would be great appreciated. and how would you build friendship out of eating together? What should I talk about with them? Football? Where they are from? Or what? And whats a good time to go eat? Lol please help.</p>

<p>And what would guys think about a chick approaching them and askin to eat with them?</p>

<p>What about askin if anyone wanted to go workout with me…would that maybe get heading in the friendship direction? other ideas are appreciated.</p>

<p>How about you meet people through classes? Also, try and keep all your questions in your original post. There is an edit feature.</p>

<p>Most guys would be receptive anyhow to a (good looking) girl wanting to eat lunch with them.</p>

<p>LOL. That doesn’t mean they should ignore the not so good looking girls. Anyway, just talk to them in class.</p>

<p>Just sit down at their table and say, “What’s up, guys?!” loudly and with confidence. Just be bold - guys like that as long as you’re at least semi-attractive.</p>

<p>Thanks…Im gonna try my best. Lol so they would like a girl come sit with them? Like it wouldnt be odd?</p>

<p>if you don’t know the guy, don’t go sit in his group. They’ll all look around and wonder who you are.</p>

<p>How to do it:</p>

<p>Don’t go out of your way to meet guys. And don’t talk about football if you don’t know football. Just talk… Here’s some good ways to approach a guy:</p>

<p>Hey, sorry, are you in my this class?
Him: I think so, why?
You: Ask some sort of BS question about the test</p>

<p>If things flow well, you’ll end up talking about the teacher or the class for a bit and then shift topics… Maybe ask about the upcoming midterm and see if he wants to study (Only if he doesn’t ask you first.</p>

<p>Those aggressive and assertive ways of talking to him will only work if you are attractive to him. Otherwise he will think that you are annoying, just like how unattractive males hitting on hot girls are called creeps. If he likes what he sees and you can carry yourself normally he would probably like it. I think guys would like it if girls took the initiative more.</p>

<p>I just realized that my post is very condescending, and he might not be as shallow as I’m thinking. Don’t let what I wrote discourage you, because if he rejects you then it was never meant to be. Give it a shot, but be realistic as well.</p>

<p>geez im getting conflicted advice…idk now.
i just want to make some guy friends…and who knows they might be cute and i might like them lol.
so then how do i approach a guy to sit with them at lunch?</p>

<p>Honestly a lot is gonna depend on how attractive you are. That’ll open the range of what is and isn’t acceptable in this situation.</p>

<p>Even if you aren’t to them though, I would be surprised if they said no. As long as you aren’t very weird or anything ahah</p>

<p>ThisIsMichigan- Thanks for the advice(: I think I’m attractive and Ive had people say that I was so Im gonna ask to sit with some guys tmrw at lunch. Thanks again.</p>

<p>Well I’m a guy but I’d say that tactics for a girl talking to guys are very similar for tactics for girls to talk to guys. I think looks are secondary to confidence. By confidence I mean you need to be (or at least appear) relaxed and not concerned about the chance that something can go wrong. If you look extremely uncomfortable, then you better be the prettiest girl on the planet. But if you can just relax and be yourself, even if you aren’t beautiful, it will be good enough for a conversation and to make friends (and maybe a potential partner). I would say the best way to make guy (or any) friends would be to join an organization. When it is your first meeting just go sit with some guys, tell them your name, ask for their names, and then tell them that you are new and that you would like to learn more about the organization and make some friends since you don’t know anyone (don’t sound desperate, just make sure they are aware that you don’t know anyone else). I did not make any female friends all of last year but this year I joined 3 organizations and I make 3 new female friends every meeting (these are extremely large organizations) at each of these organizations so about 9 a week. When you are talking to these people, do not think so much “what does/will this person think about me?” You also don’t need to try to put a lot of effort trying to think of what you are going to say or which specific words you are going to use. Just start talking to them as if you aren’t scared of what they think about you. Talk to them just like you talk to your other friends. Don’t try to pretend to be something that you are not because if the other people sense that you are even slightly doing this, then they will assume it is because you feel as if your normal state is not enough.</p>

<p>SadHippo- So what do you think a couple guys would think if a girl asked to sit with them?
Like would they think its cool and welcome her to sit or think its weird…</p>

<p>What if some random guy came up to me and started chatting me up that is one thing but then he just came over and says hey is this seat taken i say no return to my conversation with my group of friends and now he trying get in on my conversation asking me stuff that is gonna be well odd. He’s gonna find himself getting some odd looks thrown his way No matter what he looks like- So personally I would chatt a guy up prior to parking your butt at his table with a group of his buddies, cause now your in HIS comfort zone ; get invited don’t be a crasher.</p>

<p>This thread just goes back and forth on advice…
So irritating that I dunno what the crap to do.
I mean people say get to know people in your dorm, these people are in my dorm</p>

<p>Let me just rescind on my earlier advice and offer you something new. I don’t think you are getting this.</p>

<p>You have to bite the bullet and JUST DO IT. Don’t spend days seeing what people in CC suggest to do. That just sounds preposterous. Give it a go. You might not do well. That’s a part of life that you will have to accept. Think of all the guys who have done this at one point or another. It’s part of growing up for males, and you can do it too. Making a mistake just means that you’ll be better next time.</p>

<p>you said they’re in your dorm so just use that as a conversation starter</p>

<p>No, it would be weird as hell. This is not the movies. I learned the hard way. I thought college was all about meeting people. On the first few weeks of school, I went around actively trying to meet people and saying “hey” to people I saw randomly walking to class and of course, trying to ask if I could sit with a group of people. </p>

<p>It only works if you’re a good looking girl because society is shallow as hell. Same thing in class, if a weirdo/ugly girl or guy says something, everyone gets mad, but if someone popular/cool/good looking says the same thing, it’s funny. </p>

<p>Most people are lame to be honest. Nobody even talks to anybody in class. Everyone (since I’m an upperclassmen) is already friends with anyone they talk to in class. No one is meeting new people. Most people are still predominantly friends with their high school friends. </p>

<p>It’s been two weeks for far, and nobody in classes interacts with each other. They come, sit, take notes, and then leave.</p>

<p>You could if you want. It’s kinda weird. It’s ok to approach at parties though. Random girls talk to me when I’m at parties. But if I’m eating in the cafe, I would just be annoyed and think that she is trying to sell me something.</p>