I find it sad that people don’t have friends and other families that they trust. My kids went to sleepovers and they had a lot of fun. Sure, I didn’t let them sleepover at just anyone’s house, but it’s sad how kids are missing out. I get that people are worried about predators, but relatives can abuse kids too…
My only gripe with sleepovers was that my kids could be real cranky when they didn’t have enough sleep and they were always cranky after sleepovers. So that’s why I kept them from going to too many sleepovers…
I do get that every family is different and some families don’t do sleepovers for cultural reasons and some kids just aren’t comfortable sleeping at someone else’s house. Did your kids do sleepovers?
My kids did plenty of sleepovers throughout elementary and middle school. D20 gave it up by high school, but D24 still sleeps out several times a month.
Oh gosh, no. Not here! I’ve told my H and kids over and over until I’m blue in the face that though we don’t live in the best area, I would not trade their friends and their families for anything. Their friends and parents are golden. I wanted one family to raise younger S for the last couple of years, if something happened to both H & I. (Older S was already in college.) We trusted them to raise our kid more than our family, and we love our families!
So yes, they both had plenty of sleepovers growing up. Until middle school, we had kids over as much as they came here. In HS, older S didn’t have any. He a GF and hung out with her all the time. Younger S though - almost every weekend a big group of them would be at someone’s house - one of 3 families that had a big basement for them all to stay. (And the parents wanted them to stay.) Even now that they are off to various colleges, they still hang out overnight during breaks. And they also all go visit each other at their schools once of twice a year.
I had many sleepovers as a teen with my best friend. Then there was the slumber party of a not so close friend out in the country at an old ramshackle house. Not a good decision on the part of the family throwing the party or the kids attending. I remember my mother specifically asking if I needed to bring bedding and they said no. So I end up at this sleepover with no bedding, the parents left the premises, and someone thought it was a good idea to sleep outside on the ground. I was very cold, and one girl was very kind to share her blanket with me, but it was still freezing. Idiot parents!
My daughters had a few sleepovers but not many. My youngest went to one once as a freshman in HS, and the next day I found out they actually slept next door, in the basement of an older couple who really liked kids! Omg. My daughter said the TV was blaring all night bc those who weren’t sleeping didn’t know how to turn it off and didn’t want to wake up these people they didn’t know. Again, why the hosting family thought it was OK to turn the whole group over to the next door neighbors who were complete strangers, I have no clue. People are weird.
I stayed with my kids at birthday parties when they were young, and didn’t encourage sleepovers when they were older bc of incidents like these.
My kids had a ton, especially my girls, the older they got, the more frequent. My youngest were HS juniors when Covid hit, it was so strange not to have teens coming and going. My kids didn’t really even ask in high school, I’d be sitting on the couch on a Sunday morning and a parade of kids would come walking down the stairs. I let them know they were welcome even if my kids weren’t home (a couple had some difficulties at home). Dd19 and dd21 had them over winter break (dd21’s group of 10 gets together for sleepover when they’re home). So many of them have been friends since early elementary, sleepovers since then.
My kids never had any sleepovers. I didn’t feel comfortable with them staying at other people houses. The same amount of fun can be achieved during the day in my opinion
My kiddos had some sleepovers in late elementary school and middle school. It hasn’t been as much of a thing in HS - some of that is due to covid interruption.
What kind of parents would just turn the kids over to next door neighbors who are strangers and have nothing to do with the sleepover otherwise?! My kid would never have been allowed to sleepover with that family again! If my kid is going to the a sleepover at your house, they are sleeping at YOUR house or they are coming back home to their own bed.
I let my kids sleepover at friend’s houses, but it was friends that we knew well. If I had any hesitation about the family, my kids wouldn’t spend the night. Period. If I didn’t trust my kids, my kid’s friends, and my kid’s friend’s parents, my kids wouldn’t stay overnight. I also had no issues asking the teachers and other parents about certain families or calling before the party.
I remember D’s first group sleepover (more then just 1 friend spending the night). It was a friend’s birthday party. We knew the family well. I called before hand and girl’s older brother was NOT there, he was staying overnight at a friend’s house. They made that very clear in the invitation. And both parents would be there all night and would be sleeping with their door open…It went very well. The only issue is that the girls were allowed to stay up until midnight (this was a 7th birthday party), but even then they hardly got any sleep. Most of the party-goers came down with colds the week after. D never did well when she didn’t get enough sleep, so she was a grump the next day…that’s why I would limit sleepovers…it’s the lack of sleep they get.
My daughter starting spending the night out, or having girls over at the age of 3 with her cousins, and 4 with preschool classmates. Of course these were children of women I was friendly with. By kindergarten, she was having girls from her class over, or going to their house, usually on a Friday straight from school. Some of the parents I didn’t know well, but as her friend group was established, I got to know the parents better. This was my child that could have gone to overnight camp at the age of 3 (she didn’t go until she was 7) as she was a social butterfly!
My son liked to go to friends houses to play, but didn’t have many sleepovers until late middle school, and then only with a couple of kids. He preferred his alone time, so usually it was a classmate coming to our house after school on Friday, and leaving Saturday morning. He probably slept out more in high school than earlier years.
Both kids stayed at friends homes, or had them at our home a good bit once they were in college. A group from high school would all stay at one house to catch up, as most went to different school and didn’t see each other much during the school year unless home for the holidays.
In addition to not always being entirely comfortable with the rules/supervision at the homes of others, I pretty much think: “Nothing good happens after midnight.”
Kids get cranky and fight with friends.
A more anxious friend gets freaked out by something at the strange house and wants to go home in the middle of the night.
Mean girls start picking on a scapegoat.
Mischievous kids decide to sneak out or thieve from the liquor cabinet.
I guess I see a lot of downside and not much upside. The same fun can be had before 10 pm.
So true!
Also, the kids never get much, if any sleep. Which of course, leads to cranky, exhausted kids the next day. My kids always did/still do better when they get enough sleep. H is the same way. When my kids went to sleepovers, they could be quite grumpy and unpleasant the day after because they were exhausted. It was better when they got to be teenagers, but then they’d stay up until 4 am and then conk out till 2 pm and we’d sometimes have to wake kids up so they could go home…
Yes. All the time and 18 yr old still often sleeps over or has friends over. I can think of only one friend we would not let him sleepover at in elementary school, due to lack of supervision over there. Other parents we trusted, even if they had different parenting styles.
I have 3 kids and none of them was a sleepover fan. Doesn’t mean they didn’t ever do it. But it wasn’t a regular occurrence. They were always like, “how about you just come pick me up at 11pm?” - and there were a couple of middle of the night pick ups……
This was more grade school though. Not high school. By high school they DEF didn’t want to do sleepovers and treasured sleeping in their own beds.
We hosted sleepovers now and then. Some were multiples for a sleepover party. It was fun but it was A LOT.
At first I was a little disappointed they weren’t into sleepovers. You’re with your friends! All night! You get to wear PJ’s!!! It’s fun!!! It took me awhile to realize they were smarter than your average bear and friends aside, they just wanted to sleep in their own bed and wake up in their own house!!
Kids went to some. Good experience overall but my kids didn’t go to as many as other kids did partly because they often had a morning sports practice. We mostly hosted for birthdays. One kid’s friend was always wanting to host weekly but we learned later that the parents were very heavy drinkers and liked having kids over so they wouldn’t need to drive their kid anywhere. There is a book called Protecting the Gift that points out that many cases of early sexual activity and sexual abuse start at a sleepover where there is an older relative or an older relative’s friend. Certainly that is where drinking or pot smoking starts as I know from my own experience with sleepovers.