Oh dear. Yeah, there were some families who we didn’t trust and we didn’t let our kids go over there. We also didn’t allow co-ed sleepovers. I didn’t let D go to a sleepover when I heard that the mom’s brother and his older kids were going to be sleeping over as well. We weren’t super close to the family and something about having extra relatives there who we didn’t know, didn’t sit well with me…
My oldest S19 wasn’t a fan. I think he did one. My S22 only did one as a little kid, but during HS has done many. He loves it.
I did a lot of sleepovers as a kid. Most went just fine.
My niece, who is now 28, was a zombie for years from doing too many sleepovers. I’m not kidding - it was ridiculous . Some weekends she’d be out both nights, up ‘til the wee hours and she was probably like 8!
I had a friend who’s daughter was like that too. It seemed like she was always having a sleepover either at her house or a friend’s house. Even on weeknights. She always seemed so tired. There is such a thing as too many sleepovers. The kids never get enough sleep…
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My kids just did them with a few really close friends, but they were fabulous and they really enjoyed them. Definitely different from just staying over during the day. When they were little I usually made sure they only did them on Friday nights so they would have both Sat and Sun to recover before school the next week. We hosted here too. These weren’t huge affairs, usually just one or two other kids. They have great memories from it all and D22 still does some although COVID curtailed that for awhile.
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Sleepover birthday parties were a thing for my boys. They graduated HS in 2012 and 2014. One kid’s friend were very trustworthy and we could have left the house with them in it and all would be fine. The other’s friends grew to be wonderful young men, but in elementary school leaving them alone for even a few minutes could have ended badly.
I let my S22 have a few friends stay over on a weekend night if we aren’t home. They are great kids and I trust them completely.
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Yes my kids had LOTS of sleepovers (daughter more than son, seems to me girls have them more often, but maybe that was just in our groups of friends). Having myself participated in sleepovers growing up also, I have to disagree with posters who say you can have just as much fun prior to 10 pm and nothing fun/worthwhile happens after that 
. There is an indescribable bonding that happens, I’m not sure how to articulate it but there is a magical something that makes a sleepover different from an evening. Maybe it’s waking up in the morning and having breakfast together, maybe it’s funny stories (about who slept-walked, snored, tripped over someone sleeping on the floor on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, who couldn’t be woken from a deep-deep slumber in the morning), pajamas, sharing personal thoughts that might be more likely to be shared late at night, sleepover traditions, general silliness, the dog coming in and licking faces at 2 am, staying up way past midnight watching scary/funny movies, or the fact that kids probably spend a little more time actually interacting with their friends’ families at a sleepover (mom/dad making pancakes for them, ensuring they have enough sleeping bags and everything they need, etc, seeing the mom with curlers in or a face mask for whatever), and being close with friends’ families can make kids feel closer with each other, I don’t know. But without a doubt, I felt for myself and for my kids, sleepovers with cousins and friends cemented their relationships in a powerful way that led to deeper friendships/greater connections. However, I do agree sleepovers can result in cranky/sleep-deprived kids the next day! Worth it in my book, but a definite bummer ;-). I feel lucky we had wonderful families to share these with, also fortunate nothing terrible ever happened but much fun was had!!
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During the worst of covid, when we weren’t allowing D24 to gather indoors with friends, she and her friends would have sleepovers on our covered back porch. Many a morning in late spring/summer 2020 I would walk out with the dog at 7am to find an array of kids asleep on not the most comfortable lawn furniture.
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The article seems to making a “thing” out of nothing. My kids definitely had a good number of sleepovers. My main rule was not during the school week (this was a question mostly in HS and was surprised that some parents allowed it) and not two nights on the the weekend. The latter because they would be too exhausted. Definitely dealt with grump/sleepy kids after a sleepover but didn’t really bother me. We also allowed group sleepovers once they were in later high school.
To me, this is another non-story just like the ones that say that kids never play outside or walk to school. I see plenty of neighborhood kids walking to school as I drive to work in the morning.
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I can’t stand people who act like they love their kids more than anyone in the world because they micro manage their lives. Like those of us who gasp! let our kids have sleepovers just don’t love them enough. Just stop. That’s the vibe of the parents in this article.
Obviously, there are guidelines. For example, my S22 had a bff in grade school who had two pitbulls that were caged when company came over because they could be aggressive. No sleepovers there.
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Didn’t read the article . . . . my 20-something kids, born in the '90s, had plenty of sleepovers, starting probably in 1st grade with their very best, best friend, expanding to a broader group through middle school and then shrinking back down to closest friends in high school. Yes, as younger kids, they came home cranky, with too little sleep and too much sugar. But they had a blast and learned some flexibility. I have great memories of their high school years, with their friends crashing on the family room sofa and then eating a staggering amount of food for breakfast. Their families returned the favor, as my kids were basically “extra” children at the homes of their closest friends.
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A parent’s attitude about sleepovers can be colored by her or his own experiences, some of which may have been quite bad. I really had to struggle to not be overly protective of our kids in certain situations.
We permitted sleepovers with a few friends, but there weren’t many. Our kids were introverts and needed some alone time to recharge.
I got a call from a mom about D when she was eight because she chose to go to her friend’s room to read instead of watching a PG-13 movie with the others before bedtime. This mom had told me that her teenage son, who often picked on his little step-sister, wouldn’t be home that night, but he
was there after all. I talked to D who said she wanted to stay but would call me if she changed her mind.
Even my incredibly strict parents let me go to all-night D&D parties with a bunch of my guy friends. 
So much fun.
My parents did not let us do sleepovers. We were immigrants, and in our country, sleepovers weren’t a thing. But what sealed it was that there was a horrible massacre at a sleepover party in our city shortly after we arrived in the country. My parents never let us go to anyone’s house after that.
I wanted my DD to have sleepovers since I felt that I missed out.
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D and her friends had a lot of sleepovers from elementary school through high school and a few in college. S typically would have one friend sleep over (or vice versa) until high school and then there were larger groups. That continued when the friends were home from college.
I have 3 daughters and 2 sons (including b/g twins), I don’t know of any parents who wouldn’t allow their daughters to sleep over because I have sons.
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Growing up I did more with cousins than friends. I thought having two girls that I would have to deal with sleepovers all the time. There were some but they didn’t really materialize into a lot and all the time.
Scheduling was a bit of an issue for my D19. She was over-scheduled as a kid mainly due to her sport. She also didn’t like sleeping in other people’s homes that much after a certain age. D23 was not your normal social butterfly growing up. A bit of an introvert. Ironically D23 just had her 17th bday party this past weekend. 9 other kids over for fun and games, but all left by 11PM. I do have to kick out D23’s bf from the house sometimes.
Yes I’m surprised there are a few mentions of concerns in this thread about brothers being home. I do have one friend who didn’t like to leave her daughter home even to run to the grocery store in the afternoon if her sons had their friends over (they were all teenagers/old enough to be without an adult). Everyone has to be comfortable and not worried, so I respect everyone’s choices, but I just wasn’t aware there would be a real concern about brothers being in the home of a sleepover. Always learning!
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I think sometimes it’s a cultural thing. I have a co worker whose parents are from Eastern Europe and they just thought sleepovers were unnecessary. Nothing about being overprotective, just something that seemed superfluous. She said they did let her do sleepovers in high school, like after prom and all that.
@Leigh22 parents are entitled to do what they think it right for their kids and their family, but I do agree that some parents are overprotective. I find it sad that families can’t trust other families. Also, I didn’t let my kid sleepover with just anyone. Like I said before, I had no problem calling the family before hand and asking other people about that family. And I had no problem saying “no” to sleepovers at any time for a variety of reasons.
I think sleepovers are fun and they can be safe, but they are a privilege. No one has to have sleepovers.
It wouldn’t bother me if brothers were home when my daughter slept over. Though it would depend on the situation and the family. When I mentioned it earlier, that was the parents hosting who made it clear that the girl’s brother would be away. Didn’t bother me either way.
I know from friends who have sons and daughters…sometimes the brother doesn’t want to be around all the “annoying girls.” Or because his sister gets to do something fun, maybe he’d want to go to a friend’s house too…
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