<p>Sorry, rhumbob. Needless to say, they didn’t let Mom watch how it was done. There were matches and fuel involved, but I don’t know what kind. </p>
<p>And lest you think we condone this behavior, let me assure you we don’t. As soon as we spotted the scorch marks the next morning there was a grand inquisition and significant punishment. We can laugh about it now. But at the time it was quite serious.</p>
<p>LOL OP. Just read a few of the recent alcohol related threads here. It would appear from those threads every kid of a CC parent is a teetotaler. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count how many comments I read about “how while lots of kids at perfect kid’s college got falling down drunk on weekends, perfect kid never drank or only had a very rare drink to be social”.</p>
<p>I am sorry but I think some parents just put the blinders on - or else this is a highly skewed population here</p>
<p>I try to keep in mind that most people are more reserved about their personal lives than I am. I’m rather open and talkative, so my friends hear the good, the bad, and the ugly about my kids. At times it annoys me that I only hear about my friends’ proud moments with their children, but then I enter a self-deprecating zone in which I berate myself for being disloyal to my children by talking about their faults when other, “better”, moms only share the good stuff. But as another poster mentioned, over time I’ve mostly distanced myself from friends with whom I can’t be real. Maybe I’m wrong, but I figure that talking about the negative (but not really personal like toileting habits) will insulate me from their jealousy on days when there’s positive news to share!</p>
<p>Interestingly, I’ve found that discussing the troubles I’ve had with my special needs child makes people quite uncomfortable. They think it’s awful of me to say she’s weak in math or has no friends. I do this in the context of talking about the measures we’re taking to counter these problems, but they seem appalled at my honesty. I don’t get that, so I guess I’m odd.</p>
I think it depend on the perspective of parent about the children. I don’t believe any human being is perfect and every one have there flaws. So there are no perfect children to raise, every child is a pain at one time or another. It is only how parent react to the situation makes it a joy to raise children or pain to raise the children.</p>
<p>So to sum it up it is the environment surrounding the children that make it a joy or pain to raise the children. There are exceptions to this rule but those are rare.</p>
<p>So to answer the question, “I think most parent are honest when talking about their children”. Same child can be a pain for one parent while joy to be raised for another.
What you expect of them and what you provide for them decides whether it is a joy ride or not.</p>
<p>But I like talking about the good/unique qualities of my kid (not to excess I hope). I ALSO like listening to my friends tell me about their kids.</p>
<p>When I describe my friends to each other, I tell them what I love about the other person… hoping that when they meet they will hit it off. Maybe it’s unrealistic, but I like seeing the best in everyone. Maybe in our hurry to be critical/realistic we miss some really good stuff.</p>
<p>I get an especially big kick out of parents who say that their kids are not having sex. The same kids that are away at college with their BF / GF on campus. Right… </p>
<p>My DS arrived home for Thanksgiving without any clothes other than what was on his back. He said he did not bother to pack because he had clothes at home. He was wrong.</p>
<p>Dougbetsy, if your son can set fire to macadam using a potato, your fears of his leading troops in combat are unfounded–our troops could use more leaders with the ability to turn a potato into a bonfire in place of those who spent billions on high tech gear that is useless in Iraq and Afghanistan.</p>
<p>And kudos for mentioning his mishaps without adding gratuitous references to his top 5 good qualities.</p>
<p>Modaddunn, in our area, "popular’ is not used in the sense of having many friends or being elected class president. It means being part of what used to be called the “in crowd”, who define themselves largely by snubbing everyone else and boasting of their sexual and alcoholic exploits.</p>
<p>My kid is as trying, as difficult, as infuriating as the next kid, in his own ways. But after all, he is my son, and I think he’s wonderful, and that’s generally what I end up telling people. He is just as imperfect as everyone else, but you won’t always hear me say that. I assure you that your kids are as wonderful as everyone else’s, in their own ways! We all have similar problems.</p>
<p>POIH, some children are a pain at one time AND another. </p>
<p>The book “Backyard Ballistics” had a potato cannon, but no exploding potatoes, IIRC. But it sounds like it would be an excellent present for Dougbetsy’s S. Or, maybe from Dougbetsy’s perspective, an absolutely horrible present. I’ve been googling on setting a fire with a potato. One video “shows you how to make fire using a potato, toothpaste, salt, cotton, and toothpicks.” But no matches or fuel.</p>
<p>The video also apparently includes a “gratuitous” appearance of a woman in a bikini, I’m sure that would be a very, very well-received stocking stuffer. ;)</p>
<p>Olive007----Your snide remark was not called for. My comment was a light statement regarding the fact that although I have nice kids they are slobs. You did not need to take it to that level. By the way, only one of the three are brilliant and all three worked like crazy all through school. Lighten up a bit.</p>
<p>I am more like the GFG, but I dont discuss my kids with competative parents, but mostly people there is give and take. I always wondered why the truth hurt so many people, to me the truth is easier to live than some facade.</p>
<p>Many things my son does can drive me nuts. But I also know that if he were involved in really dreadful things (crime, meth, whatever), the things that drive me nuts now wouldn’t even register. So I know it is a matter of perspective, and that, all in all, he really has been pretty great. And I consider myself very fortunate.</p>
<p>Nope, I strongly disagree. Some bad people are the result of bad parenting or environments. But there are others with factors including genes, illness, mutations, chemical exposure, and I don’t know what.</p>
<p>I have often said that I won’t take the credit because I don’t want the blame. I will no more take credit for the fact that our son is turning out quite well than I will blame parents for heartbreaking kids or would want to be blamed if I had a more challenging child. I had only one kid; had I been able to raise more I would not count on the same outcomes for all.</p>
Strongly disagree here, as well. How to explain the many families in which one child becomes a criminal or addict or abuser, while the other siblings lead model lives? How can the same parenting be both bad and good?</p>
<p>My husband has two nephews. One is a hard-working, successful, talented student with a job, considerable musical talent, and a sweet disposition. His brother has screwed up his life more times than I can count with incidents involving drugs, alcohol, and occasionally cars. He is a highly-strung risk-taker with no appreciation for his loving family. Their parents could not have worked harder to give these boys a nurturing upbringing, educational opportunities, and the kind of discipline kids need to become successful and, eventually, self-disciplined. Their messed-up child is not the result of poor parenting. If all of your children are model citizens, POIH, congrats and count your blessings. Child-rearing is a lot more complicated than garbage in, garbage out.</p>
<p>A child when born might have natural characteristics because of genes. But a child is tagged or nurtured into ‘religion’, ‘culture’, ‘scholar’ by parent and the environment.</p>
<p>We as a society causes the child journey from birth to hell or heaven. Nature gave our children genes but we give all the idosyncracies in this world from religion, culture, and academic to our children.</p>
<p>It is easy to run away from the responsibilities by saying I won’t take the credit so I don’t want the blame too.</p>