Are we going to let our kids fail?

Parent Cafe
14

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<p>I think it would depend on "why" I/we didn't care for the person..... </p>

<p>If the person was mean, cruel, abusive, jealous, dishonest, or something similar, I would speak up (just as I would if one of my friends became involved with such a person. I would choose my words carefully and present them in at an appropriate time and place. I probably wouldn't just say, "I don't like XXXXXX" (that would put kid on defensive). I might start by asking, "how did you feel when XXXX yelled at you yesterday?" or "Does it scare/bother you when XXXX does ___________?" or "Do you think XXXX is showing that he/she 'loves you' by acting in such a jealous manner?" or "Do you worry that XXXX will cheat on you like he/she did in a previous relationship?"</p>

<p>I would try to get my kid to talk to me about the situation and hopefully they would ask for further advice. Thankfully, my kids talk to me about everything and they trust my opinion. </p>

<p>When your kids become adults, you can treat them as friends. We give our friends advice, don't we? (One of my best friends still laughs about the fact that I told her that I get to pick her next husband after she has poorly chosen 2.)</p>

<p>If I just "didn't like the person," because of a difference in personalities, then it isn't my business.</p>