<p>dstark-Support them? Sure. Agree with all their decisions? Probably not. Love them? Of course!!
There have been various threads amongst this group about acceptable limits and boundaries with our kids. Everything from co-ed sleepovers and prom night rules to how involved parents should be in the application process or college contact. There are huge variances in how we all decide to parent. One common thread is that we are all involved in their lives because we want the best for them. For the most part, the letting go process is a slow one, and the difference between a college freshman and a college graduate is night and day. It's just hard to imagine our kids being adults right now. It was hard for me to imagine my 8th grader being a college student. But here he is, and I don't agree with all his decisions but I do support his right to make those choices. I will support him because I trust in his ability to make mistakes and recover from them. Maybe those questions you pose would be better answered from a parent whose child hasn't stumbled or experienced setbacks. My son has, and he has survived and adapted. So, if he decides to be a beach bum after graduation, I will support that decision. Not financially, but emotionally.
My family loves the Cosby show, and we saw the episode recently where the oldest daughter and her new husband decided to open a wilderness store instead of continuing on to law and medical school. I loved the mom's response, "You owe me $80 thousand dollars for the Princeton education!" Ultimately she accepted the fact that this wasn't her life and calmed down. I could see the same thing happening here. The same love you have for your child that makes you involved in their life now will allow you to let them be who they are when the time comes for them to make choices that wouldn't be yours.</p>