<p>At college apps time, the line I used with my sons that seemed to work the best was, I can’t want this more than you.</p>
<p>Blossom, post 18. Great advice.</p>
<p>Drop the class. My son dropped calculus senior year and never looked back. As a college sophomore, he is finally getting how good it feels when he works for something and succeeds. It takes some longer than others.</p>
<p>Agree with dropping the class if it is causing her (and you) so much stress, since she already completed the required 4 years of HS Math. As long as it won’t affect her college admissions, it is probably not worth the stress with so much going on senior year, plus working part time, etc.</p>
<p>I would continue to help her on her apps and essay, as long as it is helping and not completely doing it for her. I agree with one of the above posters who said that college admissions time is a time when our kids can benefit from our guidance and experience.</p>
<p>Finally, don’t beat yourself up for doing too much for her, e-mailing teachers, etc. in the past. Most of us do these things because our hearts are in the right places and because we want the best for our kids/want them to succeed. It’s good that you realize you need to start backing off and letting her do for herself. You can help her with her apps and then start to back off gradually and let her start handling other things that aren’t so crucial at first. </p>
<p>Remember: This too shall pass, and she will be fine in the end. Best of luck to you and to her!</p>
<p>Op,
Hugs! I totally sympathize with you. The college application process is stressful and can cause many battles between parents and kids.
I, myself, am a terrible procrastinator when it comes to something big and important that takes lots of thinking and analyzing and creativity. Especially essays!! This does not mean that I’m depressed, but it does mean that I fear taking on such a daunting task.</p>
<p>I personally would not let my kid “sink or swim” at this point. Believe me, she is stressed about writing this essay and the dynamic that has built up around these apps will make you trying to make her do the essays even more difficult. I would hire a college counselor or an essay counselor to sit her down and go help her through the process of brainstorming and doing the essay. This way, she is getting help she needs with the essay, you can pull yourself out of this nagging role, and can be more supportive of her. Or you can buy her the book “On the college application essay, by the College Board” which goes over how to brainstorm and journal to come up with ideas for essays.<br>
Also would drop the math class if it is still possible. Good luck!</p>
<p>Have her drop the class. I’d still help with the college applications. Not the essays but letting her know the deadlines and what she needs to fill out. DS was very busy senior year and so I kept reminding him of any deadlines for essays,scholarships and teacher recs. One school I nearly had a panic attack on because he waited until 11:55 pm on the last day to submit an essay. ugh. I never got involved at all in any of his high school work. However college apps are different and I think can be overwhelming .I never forget DS saying he was afraid he would make the wrong choices on which colleges to apply to and then perhaps chose the wrong one to attend.</p>
<p>Your DD seems to be a bright kid, so don’t worry, things will work out. Of course that’s easier said than done. I don’t think you should swing from the one extreme - complete involvement - to the other - hands off - quite so abruptly.
Help her work out an applications schedule and set up reminders. As long as this is accessible to you, you can keep track without constantly hovering. Of course the quality of the essays may be better (or not) if they are not done at the very last minute. But we procrastinators have to live with the consequences of our (in)actions.</p>
<p>I am guessing she is putting off the essay because she doesn’t know where to start.
Can you take her out of the house, to Starbucks or something, and brainstorm ideas.
Have her pick two and then brainstorm further ideas that would flesh those out.
Then tell her to pick one of those two and have a draft before she is allowed to go out with friends. </p>
<p>Sometimes they need to change how they are approaching things. Like last night my daughter had to summarize 31 chapters of a summary of “The Jungle”. She was not making progress…so she came to me, with out her phone and away from the TV and continued to work. I suggested that she get a timer and set it for 5 minutes and see if she could do each chapter in 5 minutes. She actually set it for 3 minutes and used that as a way to keep motivated. She finished within the hour.</p>
<p>So anyway, maybe providing her some structure + motivation will help.</p>
<p>Another issue could be writing an Essay means I am applying which means I have to pick some colleges and I don’t know what I want to do or where i want to go.
You could have a discussion asking her what seems to be the block…actually writing it or not really sure where she wants to end up?
If the latter you can say that right now all she is doing is providing her self options. By applying to college she has the option to go next year. By applying to these 8 colleges, she has choices come May. She has options on what to study. You are not asking her to decide any of this now, but just to start that process.</p>
<p>Also, this is why I tell all the Juniors to do the essay over the summer before Senior year!</p>
<p>Photograph albums helped my kids get started.</p>
<p>Bringing out essays from her creative nonfiction class 2 years prior helped my D get started. There are also threads on cc that talk about how to write an essay.
And I completely agree with bopper. Where is my green/like button?</p>