<p>I'm about a third of the way through my first semester, and so far I've made zero friends. Sure, I know a lot of names, but I don't know anyone I could get past the "hi, how are you?" stage with. </p>
<p>Okay, some facts about me:
I don't drink.
I'm definitely not into the hook-up scene.
I don't like popular music.
I don't watch TV.
What I've seen of sororities and fraternities makes me more than a little ill, but I keep smiling anyways.</p>
<p>I go to a preppy school where the Greek scene (i.e. alcohol, hook-ups) is the center of the social life. So, right now, I'm sitting in my room wondering what I should be doing because it's Saturday night and everyone else seems to be out having fun. I've never actually been to a frat party, not that I have anyone to go with. </p>
<p>I usually eat by myself. I think to myself before I go to the cafeteria: I'll find someone who's sitting by him/herself and introduce myself. That doesn't happen. All I seem to see are sorority girls and frat boys congregated into their self-contained cliques. Maybe I'm being overly judgmental of them? I can't help but think when I see a girl with really large sunglasses and a really ugly purse that we're not going to have anything in common. I usually skip over those types, but after I do, I found there aren't many other people to talk to.</p>
<p>Occasionally I find someone who appears to have similar interests. How far should I go in trying to be friends with them? </p>
<p>Usually, I'm just ok. Other times, I keep thinking, God I hate this place.</p>
<p>So, I guess what I need to know is, what should I do? Join more clubs? Any general friend-making tips you guys have? Maybe I'm just destined to not have friends here.</p>
<p>1) lunch
lunch is an easy casual way to meet people and become friends w/ them... i mean everyone has to eat, so asking a person who you have a "hey how are you" coversation to lunch is an easy way to become friendly w/ people</p>
<p>2) roomate
Whats your roomate situation? if you are in a single, then what about your neighbors? try getting to know your roomates/ neighbors</p>
<p>3) study sessions/ hwk help
Try asking to do study sessions/ hwk help with people in you classes... thats another good way to try to meet people... </p>
<p>4) <strong>and most important</strong>
Clubs and groups... so your not into the greek scene... but what about the drama club? french club? Red Cross? These are all great ways to meet people. My school has a club fair in sept... does your school have something like this? if not look for flyers for different groups and organizations, and just sorta go. I met a friend of mine last year by going to a Women's empowerment meeting... i saw a friendly girl sitting by herself.. i went up, sat next to her... asked her what her name was, major, where she came from etc etc.. took her number.. called her... and it was our thing to grab diner together and go to the meeting right after...
So w/e your thing is (even if it really isn't your thing.. it might become her thing) try to find out when they are meeting... and go to their meeting... its a great way to meet people.</p>
<p>I'm in more or less the same situation as you, having been at school two and a half weeks now and not partaking in the party scene at all. Well, I did to two frat parties at the very beginning to see what it was like and I left both within a half hour out of disgust.</p>
<p>I didn't connect with my roommate at all. We're both very quiet people, but he drinks a little as a social crutch so he's a bit better off than me. Not much, though. The other guys on the floor are all partiers who go up to the frats every Friday and Saturday night and sometimes even during the week. I typically eat dinner and sometimes lunch with them out of necessity but don't really have anything to talk about. They're good guys, and pretty funny, but we just have nothing in common.</p>
<p>However, I do think things will get better given time. Just get out and join clubs that sound interesting. That's the best way to have a group of people to socialize with besides your dorm floor and classes. Also, try to engage people in class in a conversation, no matter how brief it has to be. If you get along well enough, they'll reciprocate. Everyone is still looking for many more friends. Don't be afraid to ask someone for their number and a vague "want to hang out sometime" after you get to know them a bit if they seem to be on your wavelength. Once midterms roll around, study groups will also give you some possible social contacts. </p>
<p>It takes time, but it does get better. My own situation is slowly improving bit by bit. It's not where I'd like it to be, but I'm getting there.</p>
<p>Just remember to keep your chin up and stay positive.</p>
<p>Election day is coming up and a presidential election next year--try campus Democrats (or Republicans) help with getting out the vote and other campaign activities--working together with others for a purpose is a good way to contact like-minded friends. Same goes for school newspaper, literary magazine, film club, or religious organizations, theater productions, music ensembles, singing groups.....</p>
<p>Campus service clubs and study groups are a good way to meet people.</p>
<p>You do need to open up a little, but you don't ever have to cross the line as far as drinking and partying go. It sounds like many of your fellow students fall into the clique scene. That is unfortunate! You just have to search for non-cliquish dormmates and classmates.</p>
<p>Are you from out-of-town? Are there any malls or sightseeing opportunities nearby? If so, try to form a little group of dormmates and/or classmates for a weekend excursion to a nearby mall or go sightseeing somewhere, just to get off campus for a few hours.</p>
<p>What kind of music do you like? It's college, somebody probably has the same tastes as you...</p>
<p>In fact when I'm with a group of people and we talk about "popular" music the conversation always goes nowhere besides, "Oh, it's cool, I like it" - but when a girl sees my Bikini Kill shirt we can just go off talking forever. Haha. </p>
<p>I agree with everyone else who says open up first off, and try to find clubs with people you click with more. Environmental club? GSA? Campus Republicans? Anime club? All attract a specific group of people with their own vibe. And of course study groups are another way to meet people you have some common ground with.</p>
<p>I have somewhat of the same problem, but I do have some friends. </p>
<p>-Join clubs and organizations, as has already been said.
-Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to random people, whether by sitting with them in lunch, or in class, or in a line for something. I've made a couple of new friends this way. And if you end up hating each other or just not getting along, you don't have to talk to each other ever again (especially if you met them randomly and not in a class).</p>
<p>well hey now. That's a little ridiculous. You can't judge a person based off what sunglasses they wear. I wear enormous sunglasses, and i like to think of myself as a decent human being? But maybe i'm wrong...</p>
<p>"well hey now. That's a little ridiculous. You can't judge a person based off what sunglasses they wear. I wear enormous sunglasses, and i like to think of myself as a decent human being? But maybe i'm wrong..."</p>
<p>Did I say I was judging these girls based on their glasses, no. I was merely noting that I have never met an interesting 'big sunglasses' girl.</p>
<p>I go to a similar school where the Greek scene is a major part of social life. Just keep in mind that there are others like you who do not want to drink or party. Try talking to a lot of people to figure out who shares your same values. There are also plenty of activities to do besides drinking, even if its just hanging out and having a movie night.</p>
<p>I agree that joining an organization you feel is interesting/worthwhile is a great way to meet people. Is there a group in a field you're interested in studying? What about Big Brothers/Big Sisters? Martial arts? Gymnastics? Cooking? Folk Dancing? Yoga? Democrats? Republicans? Liberatarians? The campus Y? Student government? Dorm governance? </p>
<p>Study groups is also an excellent way to get to know people--try to sit in different seats in class, by someone whom you think is interesting & discuss/clarify something that was said in class & go off to lunch or dinner or coffee thereafter.</p>
<p>Next semester, be sure to take a class about something you're interested in or one that intrigues you. Jewelrymaking? Cinema? Snorkeling? Bowling? </p>
<p>There are so many non-drinking options for interacting with people, once you start looking for them, you'll be pleasantly surprised.</p>
<p>Hmm...I know lot of decent and interesting big sunglasses girls (though I don't wear them). Maybe it's a southern CA thing? I know less girls who wear big sunglasses here in Texas.</p>