Battles Looming Over Son's Procrastination Finishing His Applications

<p>I keep reaching for the “Like” button…</p>

<p>This thread is cracking me up, since I see my life in many comments. Here it is 12/29 and guess what DS is doing–working on applications! He said he’d finish them all yesterday then proceeded to NOT work on them at all except for about one hour in the evening before going out with friends. So I’m walking the line between reminding/nagging. It is actually not too bad, as he’s already been accepted to TAMU and USC (that’s South Carolina) honors college. So as far as I’m concerned, he’s going to college. He’s got some serious reach schools (one Ivy, 3 privates) and 2 high qualty state schools. He’s finished the apps for his two top choices, so it’s just the rest he’s put off. Of course for the two he was accepted into and the two he’s finished he waited until the deadline for scholarships or the requested deadline for all 4. Yes, he likes to last minute everything.</p>

<p>I’m just hoping that when April comes around he can decide on what to do. He’s going to have some good choices, and it’s going to be another procrastination fest I fear–May 1st will not come soon enough.</p>

<p>I wish colleges set dealine on Dec 15 or Jan 31, not Dec 31. Dec 31 deadline jeopardizes holiday plans of many families.</p>

<p>whew. I feel lucky. My son was only applying to two schools. One in state, where his credentials made him pretty much an absolute, which had the easiest application process I have ever seen (but has a strong reputation), and an OOS, where he really wanted to attend. The OOS had an 11/3 deadline and required essays. Since he REALLY wanted to go there, he was willing to write the 3 essays for their honors program. Piece O cake.
Accepted to both schools. DONE. All that is left is paying the deposit! WOOT!</p>

<p>Ah, I remember this angst from last year. But it was done by now because the GC insisted on early submission - before Thanksgiving if you wanted them to have their paperwork submitted before Christmas. (I don’t think DS had all of his done quite that early. And definitely none by Halloween which was recommended by local college coaches).</p>

<p>Just try to submit everything for 1/1 or 1/3 deadlines tomorrow - don’t wait until 12/31 - in case the common app site malfunctions - power goes out - computer crashes, etc. The common app issued a warning about this as well - something about the payment having to be processed first - which could take a day - before the aplication is actually submitted to the school. This is a deadline you don’t want to cut too close.</p>

<p>“Mom and Dad hanging around being all dubious about your fabulous invisible powers of last-minute heroic application writing.” </p>

<p>From a couple of pages back, but so hilarious I just had to see it again!</p>

<p>I think I have the most egregious procrastinating story - I don’t mind if it makes those of you with procrastinating children feel better;) I have to laugh at this point, when I’m not stressing out entirely.
My kid plans to apply to about 6 schools that are HIGHLY SELECTIVE, due JAN.1, and he hasn’t READ WHAT THE SUPPLEMENTS ARE YET! Nor has he requested interviews with any but 1, or requested that SAT scores and transcripts be sent.
I tried. But at this point, my belief is that one cannot get blood from a stone. I can talk to him about possibilities, remind him, help him, but I cannot DO it for him. I really can’t blame myself. [Or maybe I SHOULD: if I WERE super-mom I would’ve figured out a way.]
The sad thing about it is that I’m pretty sure he regrets this, but there is nothing he can do about that at this point.<br>
The other thing is, a lot of great schools have a later deadline, and I hope and think it probable that he can get into a number of those. Those schools will actually be better for him, I’m pretty sure. So maybe this whole thing is a charade, or a practise, and like some of you calm people insist, everything will be fine when choices are revealed and decisions made.
But yeah, OP, teenage brain and learning about consequences from experience, these are my only sort of consolations at this particular point.</p>

<p>I think I’m one of your guys’ kids. :D</p>

<p>Just sent SAT scores yesterday. Currently in the midst of finishing… first drafts of essays… some for Ivies! I still must finish, then edit those essays, then submit the apps–all in the next couple of days! I sort of subscribe to the “I know I’ll get it done in time, if only barely” philosophy.</p>

<p>OP, we feel your pain, have been in your shoes, soon just a faded memory!</p>

<p>Hanaviolet, the SAT’s can go in later (Harvard, for instance, still takes scores from the January test) and often the admissions office schedules interviews once the application is received, so no worries on those two counts.</p>

<p>You could print out the supplements or supplement essays for him, from all the schools, and staple together. I did this with one of mine. He just couldn’t organize things in a manageable way, but wrote great essays in the end- yes, at the last minute. I might even have put all the essay questions on one page, labeled by school, so he could see it at a glance. This just made it all look doable, so he relaxed a little and got writing.</p>

<p>Like I said, this kind of support was offered after Christmas, to a kid who was temporarily paralyzed. If this had been his habitual way of doing things, I would not have helped him. He needed a nudge, and I just wordlessly handed the sheet of paper to him.</p>

<p>He had done everything else himself: scheduled visits, chose schools, corresponded with admissions, etc. He finally went to a great school, his top choice, in the fall and has been self-sufficient and happily productive ever since. It would have been a shame for him to have missed out on the life he has had, because of a temporary state of mind.</p>

<p>The thing I get a kick out of is these Mom’s are obviously GREAT Mom’s in every sense of the word, yet look at their posts- really funny quips-great insight and crazy exchanges with their mostly high achieving sons- who will not get off the dime! Senior son’s do exist in a twilight zone!</p>

<p>I must say, S1’s senior year is still vivid in my memory; it has not gone fuzzy or diminished like child birth did! He had a great outcome, but still…S2 is a Jr. in HS, and I don’t know what I can/should do differently to change the process! S2 is smack dab in the middle of NOT attending to SAT/ACT prep. I fear it’s going to be the same wild ride only this time I know what’s coming…not a good thing. Don’t have an organized, OCD D. in line to assure me I am a wonderful, effective mother!</p>

<p>Common App submitted, all test scores submitted, 6 out of 8 supplemental essays submitted, half of music supplement recorded. Need to finish those essays, record the rest of music, burn the CDs and get them in the mail by tomorrow. And this is my organized, OCD-ish S.</p>

<p>Celebrating yesterday’s completion of final two apps. here :)</p>

<p>Smoke came out of my D’s room.
I just spent almost a half grand on my credit card in less than 5 minutes. One email notification is still missing. This is still better than 2 years ago: my son submitted his EA apps 10 minutes before the deadline and it took him more than 5 minutes to correct the errors before the transaction went through.
No OCDs in my house.</p>

<p>Does anyone know the difference between “submitted” and “downloaded” for the Common Ap? She submitted the Common Ap for all school several days ago, and most of my D’s schools show downloaded, but there is one that is stubbornly showing “submitted”. (Of course the supplement is not submitted yet for this school, but on athother school lacking a supplement, the Common Ap still shows downloaded.) Is this a crucial distinction?</p>

<p>It’s up to the school to “download” and they are probably on break.</p>

<p>compmom, thanks for the information and these helpful words of encouragement. I think I will print the supplement stuff out for him right now.</p>

<p>I should add that the same son got himself jobs on campus, worked vacations, and paid for more than half his college costs. I really think the application stuff is harder than most life tasks, and is definitely more loaded emotionally. Good luck :)</p>

<p>compmom: </p>

<p>Thanks for your comments and insight. They really ring true with my kid, who is also typically OCDish and whom I have never before have had to stay on top of with completing school or life assignments. That’s why this whole college ap procrastination thing has been not just stressful, but also somewhat puzzling to me. The word “paralysis” that you used is descriptively apt. </p>

<p>Anyway, now the light is getting very bright as we near the end of the tunnel, and my real kid is starting to return.</p>