<p>And also (this, too, is unbelievably true):</p>
<p>Middle School. Science class is learning about states of matter (liquids, solids, etc)</p>
<p>Teacher: "So, what is a state of matter?"</p>
<p>Kid (dead serious as well): "Texas!"</p>
<p>No kidding! :D</p>
<p>During English: </p>
<p>Student: Julius Caesar was deaf in his left eye.
Teacher: How was he deaf in his eye?</p>
<p>LoL.. i got some too. right now im a senior and i came to the US my junior year.</p>
<p>at the computer lab
someone next to me: "do you know how to go on the internet?"
some days later she even tried to explain to me what a sim card was...</p>
<p>the other one. didn't happen in class, but it's just my favorite. we were sitting in the library and they were asking me where i was from
me: "i grew up in Thailand and moved to Finland 2 years ago"
friend: "Is Finland next to Thailand?"
It's like asking whether the north pole is on the equator. and he was 18...</p>
<p>"How was he deaf in his eye?"</p>
<p>LOL.. wow.. that's beautiful</p>
<p>
[quote]
"ma3 ma2"
[/quote]
haha, that's definitely not right</p>
<p>In history:</p>
<p>"Is Napoleon dead?"</p>
<p>"When are we going to learn about the countries on the other side of the map?"</p>
<p>"Wouldn't it be cool if Japan used Godzilla in World War II?"</p>
<p>"I hate this book. It has too many words in it."</p>
<p>"There's ice in Mexico?"</p>
<p>"Why can't there be black Germans or hispanic Germans?"</p>
<p>My calculus teacher: What's the derivative of optimization?</p>
<p>Student: Optimus prime.</p>
<p>
[quote]
"Wouldn't it be cool if Japan used Godzilla in World War II?"
[/quote]
</p>
<p>lol thats a really funny one!</p>
<p>"I'm multiracial. I'm North Korean and South Korean."</p>
<p>girl: You're from Conneticut? Who lives in Conneticut? Do they even speak English there?</p>
<p>guy: Duh. It's in America.</p>
<p>girl: So? Canadians speak French.</p>
<p>boy: I'm going to Taiwan. I don't know much about it, but I like Thai food</p>
<p>boy 2: Idiot. Thai food is from Thailand.</p>
<p>boy: (sarcastic) Yeah, and Chinese food is from China-land.</p>
<p>This girl in my class asked:</p>
<p>"Where is the jumping-off point on the earth? Like into space?"</p>
<p>This was junior year.</p>
<p>This wasn't stupid, but funny. My school newspaper meeting turned into a talk about weird foods and...
Teacher: I ate stingray once.
Student: Why?
Teacher: To avenge the death of the crocodile hunter.
and...
Teacher: I also had kangaroo.
Student: That is such a jerk food to eat!</p>
<p>But as a result of this discussion we now are going to have a "weird foods" column in the school paper.</p>
<p>Did any of you guys have the American Pageant textbook in AP US History?? It is the single greatest textbook on the face of the earth. It's quotes aren't necessarily stupid, just completely ridiculous and often very un-PC. Here are some gems:</p>
<hr>
<p>"Jackson men also hit below the belt...He was even accused of having procured a servant girl for the lust of the Russian tsar-- in short, of having served as a pimp."</p>
<p>"Americans did not feel they could offend the tsar by hurling his walrus-covered icebergs back in his face."</p>
<p>"The physical growth of New York was correspondingly retarded."</p>
<p>"What nation in its right mind, they reasoned, would refuse so lavish a dowry? The radiant Texan bride, officially petitioning for annexation in 1837, presented herself for marriage. But the expectant groom, Uncle Sam, was jerked back by the black hand of slavery."</p>
<p>"What other power would have spurned the imperial domain of Texas? The bride was so near, so rich, so fair, so willing...Nine long years were surely a decent wait between the beginning of the courtship and the consummation of the marriage"</p>
<p>"Forming a strong attachment for the Filipinos, he [William Taft] called them his 'little brown brothers' and danced light footedly with their tiny women"</p>
<p>"In essence, the Spanish-American War was a kind of colossal coming out party."</p>
<p>"the clock had struck sex o'clock in america"
--in reference to the 20s sexual revolution</p>
<p>"Seemingly the farmer had only to tickle the soil with a hoe, and it would laugh with a harvest."</p>
<p>"Babies went unborn as pinched budgets and sagging self-esteem wrought a sexual depression in American bedrooms."</p>
<p>"They claimed that the sickly Europe was indeed vomiting on America "the wretched refuse of its teeming shore"</p>
<p>"To many Americans, the Japanese were getting too big for their kimonos."</p>
<p>"To say that America, with some French aid, defeated Britain is like saying, 'Daddy and I killed the bear.'"</p>
<p>"This so-called dream of loveliness, which was visited by 27 million people, did much to raise American artistic standards and promote city planning, although many of the spectators were attracted primarily by the contortions of a hootchy-kootchy dancer, 'Little Egypt.'"</p>
<p>Oh, and who could forget this wonderful use of alliteration:</p>
<p>"The Rough Rider assailed the spineless simperers who heeded the "weasel words" of the pacifistic professor of the White House"</p>
<p>I love this thread.</p>
<p>In Gr. 10 Gifted Science (we're supposed to all have been in the 98th percentile for standardized testing in our district... at some point):
Teacher: Hydrogen is a environmentally friendly alternative fuel source for cars. Guess what comes out of the exhaust pipe?
Boy: H2O
Girl: Isn't that dangerous? What happens when it hits the ground?
Teacher: What happens when it rains?</p>
<p>Teacher: Galileo was persecuted for an idea that was considered crazy at the time - that the earth goes around the sun.
Student: Does it?</p>
<p>Student: Vietnam is a country? I thought it was a war!</p>
<p>Teacher: Just as a poll, how many states have you been to?
Student (counting): Hmm, New York, New Jersey, California, Milwaukee...
Teacher: No, I only want states.
Student: What do you mean? Milwaukee's a state!</p>
<p>Overheard by the girlfriend in the hallway today: "Did you know that the lights on police cars like... make a noise?"</p>
<p>Our Education System Is Failing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>StellaNova: It would've been so much funnier if he'd said, "What do you mean? California's a state!"</p>
<p>This isn't from class, but it was in school so I'll post it anyway...</p>
<p>Yesterday we had a blood drive at my school and you have to go through a whole questionare before they allow you to give blood. So one of the questions is "Have you been out of the country in the past 4 years?" I click yes, the blood lady asks me where I went, and I say Europe. </p>
<p>Blood Lady: Oh, where's Europe?
Me: Europe?...
Blood Lady: Yeah, where is it?
Me: Umm.. the other side of the world? It's Europe...
Blood Lady: What's the capital?
Me: Of EUROPE?
Blood Lady: Isn't it the United Kingdom?</p>
<p>This lady was like thirty...</p>