<p>Hey Caressemh, I have the American Pagent AP History Book. U r soo right about the crazy quotes.</p>
<p>Here's a good one from a Quiz Bowl match last night. During the match, I deferred to a teammate of mine on a portion of a bonus which I can't recall now, and he got it right. We congregated in the hallway after our match to discuss how it went, and this happened:</p>
<p>Me: Hey, Teammate, that was a nice save with the Marc Anthony answer. You did a good job.
Teammate: Thanks, Cap. I'm just sorry you couldn't hear me on that one.
Me: Oh, I heard you. It's just that I thought you were joking...my first thought when I heard "Marc Anthony" was the singer.</p>
<p>In Spanish:
Teacher: (to a student) You're grades have gone up. It probably helps that you're sitting next to the brainchild from planet smart.</p>
<p>So, our school went into lockdown because they thought some kid shot a hole in the cafeteria window. Turns out, somebody just threw a ball bearing.</p>
<p>Kid in the hallway later that day: "NO, it wasn't a gun, I heard a kid threw a barbarian through the window!"</p>
<p>This is funny. Apparently in one English class some girls were putting on hand lotion and the teacher told them to stop because they were taking a vocab test. So I heard this conversation in the hallway the next day:
Girl 1: What did we get on our vocab tests?
Teacher: (pointing at each girl) 97, 98, 100.
Girl 2: That's awesome!
Teacher: (rubbing his hands together) Must have been the power of the lotion.</p>
<p>When our soccer coach asked a question abouth the world cup a gril siad
"Guys I know the answer it's either London or England."</p>
<p>Honors English 11 teacher: Name the plural subject pronouns.
Person: We, you all, they.</p>
<p>Chemistry:
Teacher: If Cu +1 is reducing, then what does it change into.
Student: Cu changes to...Cu.
Teacher: Are you sure you haven't missed anything?</p>
<p>Teacher: So what do you do to finish making this battery.
Student: I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
Teacher: What else is knew. Maybe I can guide you along. Where did you get lost?
Student: Um...
Teacher: I have a feeling I lost you a long time ago, way back in the beginning...</p>
<p>In English Honors:
Teacher: You need to be concise in a research paper. That means not using too many words-
Student: Don't be a language whore.</p>
<p>Teacher: When was Grant a president?
Student: After WWII</p>
<p>This is one from my math class...my teacher was talking about this really hard problem from the last quiz (I was the only one to get it right).</p>
<p>Teacher: "Only two students in the class got this problem right on the quiz."
...Long Pause...
Teacher: "One student...and myself..."
Football Player: "Hey, when did you become a student?"
Everyone starts laughing, and he turns bright red (lols!)</p>
<p>You guys are scaring the crap out of me.</p>
<p>I'm expecting college to be like this.
Oh, god.
These are the idiots who are filling seats at HYP.</p>
<p>The stupidest thing I've ever heard someone say:</p>
<p>"Did you know, the Jews don't have to take the SAT tomorrow?"</p>
<p>Wasn't stupid, but my theology teacher just told us all to GTFO.
Funniest thing I've ever witnessed in my four years.</p>
<p>@ altindiegirl</p>
<p>I don't quite understand why that one is the football player's bad. ^^ I thought he was just commenting on something stupid the teacher said.</p>
<p>Math teacher: Good job on test duckedtape</p>
<p>Me: Thanks sexy</p>
<p>the best part was that we are the same gender so it was pretty awkward</p>
<p>cono...I wasn't saying that the football player's quote was bad...I was saying that what my teacher said was stupid (lols)</p>
<p>Oh, and I have another one. We were doing this problem in physics about projectiles being launched from a ship. My teacher was drawing a diagram on the board, and the sail of the ship oddly looked like the Star of David...</p>
<p>Teacher (after staring at the diagram for a few seconds, mutters to himself): "Hmmm...that looks like a Jewish ship..."</p>
<p>Everyone in earshot starts laughing.</p>
<p>Oh ^ Lol, when you said "he" I thought you were saying that the football player turned red. :P</p>
<p>haha my AP chem teacher was going over the periodic table for electron configurations and this guy named clay walks into the room, so as she was listing the elements she goes, "boron, sulfur, hello mr. clay, flourine", and this girl in my class goes, "wait, which one is clay?!"</p>
<p>Someone in my Spanish class:
"Why are the verbs hungry?"</p>
<p>Someone in my class kept saying "...if this happened...", "...well if that happened instead...", and "...if that happened first...", etc. Finally, my teacher said:</p>
<p>"If the Queen had balls, she'd be King."</p>
<p>my math teacher: If i had a son, i would name him Rhombus because that sounds so manly!!!</p>
<h2>class: - -"</h2>
<p>APUSH teacher: (we were taking a political quiz to determine if we were liberal/moderate, etc and he was reading the questions) do you agree that the law should regulate unusual sexual practices ?? </p>
<p>class : huh ? there's "unusual" sex ?? </p>
<p>teacher: sex that's not for procreation. Like, you know, (awkwardly) oral sex.. </p>
<p>me: (really loudly, i didn't hear him say "oral") what's RAL SEX ?? </p>
<p>entire room erupts into laughter. </p>
<p>funniest thing was later, i was working and my friend came up to me and was like, "hey, athene, i heard that you don't know what ORAL sex was". i was ready to die.</p>
<p>Teacher: Hitler didn't just hate Jews. He hated African Americans too.
Student: And African Europeans?</p>