Best Stupid Quotes from Class

Pre-College Issues High School Life
321

<p>In Spanish:
Teacher: (finishing a story) So, the reason I became a teacher was because I got mugged and the guy had a gun.
Student: Why didn't you just grab the gun?
Teacher: Because when you have a gun in your face you're not thinking "Oh, I'm going to grab that gun and be all manly-yeah..." No! You just don't do that!</p>

<p>Teacher: I was such a loser, really, scum-of-the-earth almost.</p>

<p>In Global:
Teacher: The Cold War ended on Christmas in 1991 when the Russian leader surrendered on television.
Student: I could see all the little kids who wished for the Cold War to end for Christmas being like "Yeah, I got what I wanted from Santa" when that came on.
Teacher: Nah, it was more us adults gaping at the TV going "What? Oh my gosh!"</p>

322

<p>"does that smile indicate a kink in your logic?" - best history teacher ever.</p>

323

<p>After a student asks something...</p>

<p>Teacher :<em>stares blank faced at the girl</em> "This is why the parents eat their young in the animal kingdom"</p>

324

<p>I wasn't actually in the class where this occurred, but I heard about it later, and it's just too good to leave unposted:</p>

<p>"I'm not sleeping, I'm Asian!"</p>

325

<p>In Spanish after a quiz-we were grading the quizzes ourselves:
Teacher: Alright "hasta" means "until". I will take "as far as" and any other legitimate sounding answer.
Student: Can tomorrow count as an answer?
Teacher: I said legit answer. </p>

<p>Teacher: (to Student) Stop looking around and take your quiz.
Student: (looks at quiz) How am I supposed to understand this? It's in Spanish!
Student 2: He finally figured it out!</p>

326

<p>In anatomy class (again!):
Teacher: "When you someone's pulse, make sure you don't use your thumb, because your thumb has it's own heart."</p>

327

<p>Health:
Video: If the person is talking, that means they are conscious, breathing, and have a pulse.</p>

328

<p>question on a post lab for chem lab:
what kind of bear dissolves in water?</p>

<p>(a polar bear.... hahahaha)</p>

329

<p>Chemistry class:
Teacher: What does E=mc^2 mean?
Student: Energy equals mass times....carbon squared?
Teacher: No...but I like that one. I think I'll keep it.</p>

330

<p>^lol. 10char</p>

331

<p>7th Grade Earth Science</p>

<p>Girl: So wait, if you touched the sun, would you die?</p>

<p>9th Grade Math Class</p>

<p>Girl: I want to go to SMU, because there's a great mall right next to the campus with a Chanel store. </p>

<p>9th Grade Math Class</p>

<p>Girl: I want to go to Auburn, because the colors are blue and orange and I look really good in both of those colors.</p>

332

<p>Student: "TWO OUT OF TWENTY SEVEN?! WWHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG?!"
Teacher: "...That's the date."</p>

333

<p>
[quote]
Teacher: Hitler didn't just hate Jews. He hated African Americans too.
Student: And African Europeans?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>That's actually your teacher's bad there. </p>

<p>Just because one is black, that does not make him 'African American.' The student is actually the right one there, blacks in Europe would be 'African European' if you must include the word African.</p>

334

<p>^Lol!</p>

<p>Chemistry:
Teacher: Let's say that Allie went on a trip to a star that is 14 light years away and then came back right away. She would have only aged 28 years. However, on her return from earth her kids, grandkids, and everyone else she knew would have long died. Why?
Student: Abortion?
Teacher: No. That would've been your kids.</p>

335

<p>Oh, AP Literature...</p>

<p>Teacher: You know Thomas Kinkade? The painter?
<em>Class grumbles the affirmative</em>
Teacher: I think he shoots glitter out of his fingertips to make his paintings sparkly.
<em>15 minutes of discussion about how he makes his snow glittery ensue</em>
Assistant Principal: Hey guys. Am I interrupting something?
Teacher: Oh, no, we were talking about glitter.</p>

336

<p>In Spanish:
Student: What would you do if someone suddenly punched you in the face?
Teacher: I'd probably restrain myself or hit them back, but not beat them to a bloody pulp because that's not allowed.
Student: Hmm...What would you all do if the students rebelled against the teachers?
Teacher: You could probably do it. You guys out number us by a lot.
Student: Hmm....</p>

<p>Teacher: I was a target for bullying when I was in high school. </p>

<p>Chemistry
Teacher: After we dropped the atomic bomb on Japan they didn't surrender. Do you know why?
Student: No.
Teacher: Because they were stupid! And, lo and behold, we dropped a second bomb a month later.</p>

<p>Teacher: Japan is the perfect place to drop bombs. It's an island in the middle of nowhere, so the bomb would only effect Japan. You can't do something like that in Europe.</p>

337

<p>A.P. Human Geography class-
Teacher: So the next model we are going to be talking about was developed by Ester Boserup.
Girl in my class: Ester, is that a boy or a girl?
Teacher: (Laughs) Go read the bible.
Same Girl: NO! That is EASTER!</p>

<p>hahaha! we still give that girl crap about it.</p>

338

<p>Teacher: So that's why they give you lead aprons at the dentist, to protect your reproductive organs from the radiation.
Random guy: I never get the lead apron...
Teacher: Well you might want to go to the doctor, and check for potential damage of your gonads.
Guy: What are gonads...</p>

<p>The entire class laughs, and then someone explains...you hear him yelling after that.</p>

<p>Teacher: I'd feel the same way if I were you, kid.</p>

339

<p>Student1: I want 2 go 2 Cal Poly.
Student2: I want to go to Sonoma State.
Student1: Why?
Student2: They have my majors.
Student1: What are they?
Student2 Science and math</p>

340

<p>teacher: so what kind of discrimination have you guys experienced?
jewish kid: people making JEW JOKES! glares at one side of the classroom
teacher: <em>takes up a big stick (our teacher is an ex-marine and really scary when he's mad), glares at a random student.</em> RUPERTTTTT !!!!</p>

<p>Rupert: DON'T LOOK AT ME! I'M JEWISH!!!</p>