<p>AP US History</p>
<p>"I love waterboarding."</p>
<p>She thought it was something similar to surfing, boogie boarding, etc. Everybody in the class broke out into laughter.</p>
<p>"Teacher: So that's why they give you lead aprons at the dentist, to protect your reproductive organs from the radiation.
Random guy: I never get the lead apron...
Teacher: Well you might want to go to the doctor, and check for potential damage of your gonads.
Guy: What are gonads..."</p>
<p>My Chemistry class had almost the same exact discussion!</p>
<p>Chemistry:
Teacher: Men don't have the problem women would have with their reproductive organs if they were to be exposed to radiation..
Student: Their junk. (laughter)
Teacher: Would you like to go back to kindergarten?</p>
<p>Global:
Teacher: (reading an article he wrote when he was 15) 'The Vietnam War is one of the most controversial topics today...'
Student: That is a work of genius right there.</p>
<p>Student: Did you see the teachers on strike? They had a blown up rat!
Teacher: Oh yeah, that was interesting. It's a rather odd mascot...
Student: You know it's an intense strike when they get a mascot.
Teacher: Very intense, especially since it's...oh, I don't know....2 teachers from the school.</p>
<p>APUSH teacher: so apparently JFK was a sex addict. <em>pause</em> and he got with Mariyln Monroe.
student: and how did his wife feel about that?
teacher: what, she was happy that her husband nailed Mariyln Monroe?
I DON'T THINK SOOOOOOOO !!!</p>
<p>pause. </p>
<p>now, where was i ?? oh yeah, civil rights...</p>
<p>APUSH Teacher in referance to the revolutionary war "Think about what the patriots were fighting for."
Student: "Wait what were they fighting for?"
Dead silence</p>
<p>i love how most of the quotes come from apush :P</p>
<p>That's probably because more people on CC probably take APUSH, and because history teachers in general tend to say really weird things.</p>
<p>thelittlemermaid: ***!! lol..racist</p>
<p>Sophmore French:</p>
<p>"I always thought Canada was a city. It's really a country."</p>
<p>"So wait, did you say that getting half right is normal, or half wrong?"</p>
<p>AP English Lang : not really funny, but soo embarrassing.</p>
<p>teacher: topic of essay?
me: The effects of music on intellectual development.
he didn't seem to hear me.
teacher: the effects of music on sexual development?
girl in class: ooooh</p>
<p>I turned bright red and everyone laughed at me; not cool.</p>
<p>Hahahahaha</p>
<p>On a vocab quiz, the task was to circle the synonym of the word, and a girl says out loud: "What does DULL mean, like D-U-L-L? That's a weird sounding word." Snickers around the room followed.</p>
<p>A girl in my Spanish III class once asked what a DVD meant in English. I guess she assumed that it was something different in Spanish, but it was a matching quiz and all the English words were in one column...</p>
<p>I just remember her blank expression as she asked the teacher:
"What the hell's a DVD?"</p>
<p>The girl is rich. She definitely has a DVD player. At least now she knows what it does...</p>
<p>I visited my old school today and the math class went like this:
(A math class, maybe 15 minutes in)
Teacher: Alright, let's get back to our lesson.
Student 1: What were we doing?
Student 2: Oh, um....that math thing!
Teacher: Negative exponents. It's on the board. We just did it.
Student 2: Oh yeah, that math thing that's really hard.</p>
<p>AP Macroecon:<br>
Kid: "If the cost increases by 20% and then 30%, why isn't the increase just 50%?"
The sad part is that my teacher spent time trying to figure this out.</p>
<p>My econ teacher is pretty terrible at math.
(answering a question)
Me: 6.67 Million
Him: I'm sorry, that isn't correct. <em>Says same answer phrased differently</em>
Me: <em>facepalm</em></p>
<p>A week ago in my Spanish class:</p>
<p>Dumbs aren't blonde!</p>
<p>"Miacle Grow is the shiz."</p>
<p>In chemistry class, we were discussing why radiation is more harmful to female reproductive systems than male reproductive systems. Our teacher started asking random girls "Do you make fresh eggs?"</p>
<p>We were doing this silly thing in science class about the ills of tobacco. The teacher has this doll called Smoky Susie that uses a pump/lung to smoke a cigarette and collect the tar. But after many years this doll, is just a head and a lung.
Teacher: "She's supposed to have this little dress but I took her body off to make it easier"
Me: "Haha she's a wreck."
<em>Laughter</em>
Student 1: "She's a crackwhore!"
<em>Laughter</em>
Student 2: Mr. .... raped her! hahaha"
<em>No laughter</em>
Teacher: <em>Glares menancingly at student</em></p>
<p>9th grade earth science, all the same girl:
"can it rain in a bottle?"
"omg we should go on a field trip to the moon!"
"so like wait, if you shine a flashlight in the sky at night, can all the little people on the star see it?"
me: hey britney, do you have any lotion or purell? my hands feel gross from this lab still.
britney: i haaaaaaveeeee.....................chapstick!</p>
<p>my HORRIBLE math class aka the study hall with numbers (we<3 our teacher though):
me: "Ms. Meyer, I feel like killing myself, can I go to guidance??"
Ms. Meyer: "No, Liz already asked me that today..."</p>
<p><em>learning about matricies</em>
liz: "are we seriously adding and subtracting.....in a box?"
Ms. Meyer: "Yes, liz. Now if we have 1 3 and 6 in this box and 5 6 and 8 in this box....."
liz: "if you put my head in a box and a gun in a box...."</p>