<p>^WOW.</p>
<p>I didn't read too many. That was like a dissertation. Not too funny but looooooooong. </p>
<p>Once again: WOW.</p>
<p>So sophomore year, my world history teacher was new. And kinda...clueless.</p>
<p>Teacher: "While many of you have heard of the shot heard round the world in the American Revolution, the shot head round the world in World War I was literally heard round the world."
Class: "Um no it wasn't."
Teacher: "Well, you know what I mean."
Class: "No we don't.</p>
<p>So typical.</p>
<p>Not all of these are stupid, but some are funny anyways.</p>
<p>A kid walked in late to Spanish II on the first day of school, a few years ago. I'm not sure how he passed Spanish I...</p>
<p>Kid: "Hola."
Teacher: "Como te llamas?"
Kid: "Good."
Teacher: "No, como te llamas?"
Kid: "Bien."
Teacher <em>getting a bit desperate now</em>: "Como te llamas?"
Random kid who sat by the late kid: "She wants to know your name."
Kid: "Oh... Sean."</p>
<p>My school had this thing called World Week, and we had to write UN Resolutions. Upon hearing this a girl said, "Aren't the Spice Girls from the UN?" Sad thing is, she was a senior.</p>
<p>Also, I saw a senior who was a few grades behind where she should have been in math, and she was doing problem 21. We were supposed to do evens.</p>
<p>And my friend said that London was in France, on a test. She's smart, but it was an off day...</p>
<p>After the AP tests a lot of AP classes did absolutely nothing (the AP Psych teacher was notorious for playing Rock Band until the school officials shut him down). One day in math a kid from his class came over to my math class. </p>
<p>Kid: "Can I borrow some tape?"
Teacher: "How much do you need?"
Kid: "I don't know."
Teacher: "Well, what do you need it for?"
Kid: "We're taping a stick to someone."
Teacher: "What?"
Kid: "He doesn't have an arm and he wants to be the drummer!"</p>
<p>Also, after the AP tests, in APUSH we had a "cultural day" (aka an excuse for a party). In an attempt to make it sound educational we had to say what culture our item or utensil was from. The reasoning was ridiculous. A napkin brand got its own culture. Only one person took the day seriously. Also, in an attempt to make videos educational, we National Treasure 1 and 2 became "educational films" and SNL's Presidential Bash 2000 and 2004 became "political analysis."</p>
<p>"Scottish is like Irish, with a pirate accent."</p>
<p>I'm sure there are plenty more that I'm forgetting, since both three of my teachers are ridiulously funny, one was funny (though not ridiculously so), and the other two had there moments.</p>
<p>so in APUSH we were talking about Jim Crow Laws and how life sucked for blacks (big suprise), and our teacher liked to add in junk about culture and such ,usually with youtube clips, anywho he was talking about advances in media such as movies that had noise, and the convo went something like this...</p>
<p>Teacher: blah blah blah Minstrel singers were a big deal...
Student: Why would someone sing about that?</p>
<p>hes actually a brilliant kid, like number 3 in our class last time grades we were ranked, he just doesn't always think about questions before they pop out</p>
<p>girl: "Aren't we supposed to fall off Earth when we jump?"</p>
<p>teacher: "America's Next Top Model...the models wear clothes...that's not fair! They should take their clothes off" </p>
<p>AP Euro
Teacher: "The Fuggers...There was a Mother Fugger and a...could you imagine if they were your neighbors...it'd be 'Hey you Fuggers!'"</p>
<p>Lots from AP bio..teacher was awful. One time we had a test and for my reason for an answer it was something like 5 is less than 7 and when I got the test back and I missed points on that question I asked why and she said that the answer was that 7 is greater than 5. Same thing, right? Not according to her.</p>
<p>Then another time we were doing something with logs and someone asked if these would all be base 10 and she said "logs are always base 10"</p>
<p>Thennnn, she wanted us to write the formula for something and someone wrote it expanded a bit and she took off points because she said she would have accepted it if it was the same but it did not simplify to what she wanted (it did though) Anyway, the kid went to our math teacher and he wrote out an entire explaination as to why the formula was right and signed it and gave it to our bio teacher.</p>
<p>WOW. these are Hilarious!
I don't have that many quotes, just three.</p>
<p>Our AP- geo teacher is this fat old man who is very VERY nice on daily bases, but if you make him mad, his whole face turns purple and when he yells, you can hear it anywhere in the school. So we were taking a test on that day:</p>
<p>Teacher: "I'm going to give it to you face down. It's going to be 45 minutes. no talking."
Kid: "thats what she said!!!!"
The teacher go SO MAD, that he threw the kid out of the class and yelled at us for a whole period. so from then on noone DARED to mention TWSS jokes anymore.</p>
<p>On another occation, we were just talking about dutch immigrant communities, and the same ap geo teacher started talking about how he's the only person from his Dutch community in minnesota that's working out of state (texas). and somehow he mentioned that everyone in his family's birthdays are in september...</p>
<p>The same kid: Why is that so?
Teacher: Cause in minnesota, there's nothing else to do on a cold december night!
Class: X[</p>
<p>Ok, we have this very cool humanities teacher. we were studying Dante's Inferno, and just to help us visualize the different layers of hell, he drew a picture of the hell funnel on the board.</p>
<p>Teacher: "so this red horny thing down here is the devil. wait... that... didn't come out right."
Class: X.x</p>
<p>Back when I was in private school...</p>
<p>"So, who's the pope of America?"</p>
<p>My AP Us History class seemed to be a goldmine for stupid comments.</p>
<p><em>The class is silent while we're reading a document</em>
Stupid Girl 1: Wait, so....techinically the President is the President of like, the whole country?
*Silence...then hysterical laughter (mostly from me). *</p>
<p>My teacher: So the first caucus occured in...
Stupid Girl 2: CAUCUS?!?!?! LIKE A DEAD BODY?
My teacher: What?
Me: YOU MEAN CARCASS?
Stupid Girl 2: ...Oh yeah, that's it.</p>
<p>While discussing morals and ethics in class one day, our APUSH teacher (who happens to be openly gay) randomly bursts out, "What if we had an orgy in this classroom? Would you want to be here? I wouldn't."</p>
<p>dead silence followed, then after about 5 seconds everyone started laughing hysterically.</p>
<p>Background info:
I'm Chinese, considered one of the smartest in my grade, was in an advanced Modern World History class, tired, and the teacher was lecturing.
She spent about 45 minutes droning about the history and invasion of Manchuria, and I fell asleep. When I woke up, I realized that I had been sleeping, so I wanted to ask something intellectual to count against my sleeping.
Sadly, I blurted out "Wait, Manchuria's part of China?". And the whole class, including me, and the teacher burst out laughing. </p>
<p>Ok, it's not that funny, and not too stupid, but you had to be there.</p>
<p>in health
teacher: did you know they have flavored condoms. how do you like them apples.</p>
<p>There's this one kid who graduated last year who said so many amazing things that we started recording them. He's huge, Chinese, and incredibly smart but... lacks common sense sometimes. You can't get the full effect without his name, so I hope he never googles himself:</p>
<p>English teacher: An albatross is like a seagull with a 10-foot wingspan.
Fanfan: SUCH A CREATURE EXISTS?!</p>
<p>(on a field trip to Baltimore)
Homeless guy in Baltimore: Where you guys from?
Fanfan: [our city]. I take it you live around here?</p>
<p>Me: Can I see your answer for number ten?
Fanfan: Sure, but it's gonna cost you... your virginity.</p>
<p>Kristin: Wait you don't have parents?
Fanfan: No, I just popped out of some rocks.</p>
<p>Alicia: I'm feeling sick.
Fanfan: Do you have morning sickness?
Alicia: It's 4 PM, Fanfan.
Fanfan: Wait, don't you have to be pregnant to have morning sickness?</p>
<p>Fanfan: Anna, is your sister hot?
Anna: I wouldn't know...
Fanfan: Can you introduce me to her?</p>
<p>Fanfan: Why we eat at legal seafood Mr. Abrahm?
Mr. Abrahms: Because that's where we eat.
Fanfan: Why we no eat illegal seafood Mr. Abrahm, it'd probably be cheaper because fish is criminals!
Mr. Abrahms: Hmpf.</p>
<p>Fanfan: When I was in seventh grade, I had this teacher named Ms. Vagiano. But I had just come to America so every time I said her name...
Physics teacher: Fanfan, you can stop this story now. </p>
<p>(to Physics teacher) "We have homework already?! This is like Nazi camp."</p>
<p>"What is the queef?"</p>
<p>"I have perfect ear vision."</p>
<p>"Mr. Vennard? My name is Fanfan and I was wondering if you had a sombrero I could borrow."</p>
<p>
[quote]
Fanfan: When I was in seventh grade, I had this teacher named Ms. Vagiano. But I had just come to America so every time I said her name...
Physics teacher: Fanfan, you can stop this story now.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>lmao this is hilarious. I love Fanfan's quotes.</p>
<p>It was right before trials... basically like practice matriculation exams anyways we were complaining in english about the exam cause we have to write three critical analysis essays in 2 hours and we were saying the departmental head of english should take the exam too and see if she can do it.</p>
<p>English Teacher: Well you need to study for it, we dont go home and go yep right going to write an essay now.
Student: Yeah well neither do we</p>
<p>okay doesn't seem that funny now but I guess you had to be there...</p>
<p>"what's a terrorist?"</p>
<p>"ok, class. we're going to talk about our DBQs (document based questions)"
<em>someone heard it wrong</em>
"OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A BARBEQUE IN SCHOOL!?!? WHOOOT!"</p>
<p><em>we had sad story reading homework but nobody pays attention in this class</em>
"OK so who read the story last night and wants to talk about it? westcoast?"
"what?"
"you know, the story we read last night? what's your comments on it?"
ok im supposed to be like this literary genius like i intend to major in English etc etc! and im supposed to say something eloquent right like "oh, i thought the main character was experiencing devastating trauma and as a result it led to her inevitable breakdown" but of course i wasn't paying attention..
"it was so insightful!"
"... that's it?"
"... yes."</p>
<p>writing teacher: or i might have to kill you with my spatula</p>
<p>All of these were in Australia.
my whole year was listening to a disabled athlete who was going to China to compete in the equestrian special olympics. During the questions at the end, a girl asked "How do the horses get to Beijing?"</p>
<p>People asked me if New York was in Florida, if California was on the "same side" as Florida, and if NY was close to NJ.</p>
<p>My friend, who is very smart asked this in Geography:
Her: Is Cambodia in Africa?
Me: What..no.
Her: wait, what...o right.</p>
<p>My other friend, who is very intelligent, asked, "Is Sydney the capital? CRAP, it's Canberra right..RIGHT?" I responded "yes" and the whole class burst out laughing because even I, an American knew.</p>
<p>Oh, there's recent one. As I introduced myself and told a group of people I moved from Australia, this guy asked me, "wow....did you have a pet koala???"</p>
<p>these seniours came into my english class and asked the teacher if we can do a survey for their sociology project and the teacher said ok.
so one of the question was "do you get high at school?" and this girl asked "do they mean do you come to class high or do you do drugs on school grounds?" </p>
<hr>
<p>then there's this really ditsy girl but i can't remember anything she said ugh -_-</p>
<p>We were talking about the big number of immigrants coming to America in the seventies and eighties?</p>
<p>Teacher: Why were the white people so angry at the Asian people?
Student: The Asian people were taking all the white people's jobs?
Teacher: Why do you think that was?
Student: It was because those Asians were so great with the handjobs, you
know jobs with your hands</p>
<p>^ LOL to that</p>
<p>we had a lot of problems in class when it'd be like
<em>someone's sleeping</em>
"the winds would blow it all to us"
<em>someone wakes up</em>
"any questions?" "so it blows?"
<em>someone starts going *</em><em>LOL</em></p>