<p>health teacher: "So when you're in the shower, you have to feel down there in a circular motion to check if there's a lump that shouldn't be there."
kid in my class: "Do you need to be naked?"</p>
<p>random junior in history class: "Norwegian...so where's Norwegia?"</p>
<p>
[quote]
music during class, from loudspeakers on the walls. 'nuff said.
[/quote]
My teacher does that, too! It's wonderful.</p>
<p>AP US History teacher when discussing the Scopes Monkey trial: "Well, I think everyone in here is smart enough to know that the world is only 5,000 years old and was created in seven days."</p>
<p>So, yeah, is it time to start "screening" teachers before they are allowed a job?</p>
<p>Similarly, the funniest thing about my Honors Biology teacher sophomore year was that he was a big, fat black guy who did everything in his Baptist church, yet he would poke fun at those "kids who still listen to their preachers about science." He was hilarious.</p>
<p>During my SAT prep classfrom last year:</p>
<p>teacher: okay, what does ebullient mean?</p>
<p>girl: I dont know...BUT IT SOUNDS SPARKLY!</p>
<p>9th grade, after watching Romeo + Juliet (for reference, Mercutio is black in the film)</p>
<p>Kid: Mercutio wasn't really black, was he?
Teacher: Nah, it's just artistic license.
Kid: Okay, that's what I thought. Black people hadn't been invented yet, right?</p>
<p>HE WAS SERIOUS. And it was English Honors.</p>
<p>Not a stupid quote, but, rather, an AWESOME one.</p>
<p>Learning about functions. My math teacher wrote this on the board.</p>
<p>blender (milk and ice cream) = all the boys to the yard.</p>
<p>^
"and they're like, it's better than yours..."</p>
<p>An answer on a test on To Kill a Mockingbird in eighth grade:
"What did Scout get from (character) for Christmas?
-A copy of The Communist Manifesto</p>
<p>"Why was Scout called a disgrace to the family?"
-Because she was a Communist</p>
<p>Of course, these weren't really serious. I've forgotten all the seriously stupid quotes from class.</p>
<p>During a contraceptive debate in AP Gov.</p>
<p>Me - What if I'm married and don't want to get pregnant?
Friend - You don't have to have sex when you're married! That's what they make divorce for!!</p>
<p>omg....so many AP US history quotes....I'll have to collect them and get back to you.</p>
<p>Here's one:
Girl and teacher are debating about something....don't remember what
Girl: "Y'know Mr. Teacher's Name, we can just meet you outside later!"
Teacher: "No, I'm sorry, that's illegal."</p>
<p>Teacher:"They don't call me the anti-Christ for nothing."</p>
<p>AP US History at my school is the best ever...</p>
<p>Some people in my AP History class thought washing d.c was in the state of washington</p>
<p>"So yeah, the pointy old Madonna bras were really just examples of modernism and the new curved ones are just post-modernism in lingerie form. Hah, look, [Zamzam]'s turning red!"</p>
<p>There are times when it is really uncomfortable to be the only male in a class. Oh, AP Literature... I'm so glad I'm not relying on this class to prepare for the test.</p>
<p>8th grade end of the year:
We had been covering the American revolution for MONTHS, and we had just finished watching random end of the year school house rock stupid stuff. Suddenly, there was like a 3 minute thing about the American revolution and this girl (this is the "Academically Gifted" class) raises her hand "I NOW UNDERSTAND THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION MORE BECAUSE OF THAT THAN ANYTHING ELSE I'VE SEEN THIS YEAR!"</p>
<p>World History Honors:
Q: What is the name of the Jewish god?
Group 1: Allah?
A1: No
Group 3: (Girl jumping up and down screaming that she knows the answer) ALLAH!
Everyone was laughing so hard. </p>
<p>Funny Event in World History Honors:
Civilization box: (like 30 pieces of paper are in this box, and one is the black death which kills half of your civilization. My group's civilization is located in Italy.)
Me: We do not need to by more draws than our mandatory 1! Heads, we get something moderately good. Tails, we lose half our civilization.
Group member: It IS LIKE ROLLING A 30-SIDED DICE! WE ARE GETTING THREE!
Me: okay....
The rest of the group proceeds to pick out pieces of paper, the first group member drawing silk, the second a tornado, and the third (the one mentioned above)... the black death.
The teacher and I about died laughing. </p>
<p>English I Honors:
(on Romeo and Juliet)
Me: So women in plays in this time were played by boys? Didn't they have love scenes?
(The teacher acknowledges this and proceeds to tell us how in the version of the play we are going to see, exactly how much of Juliet we see, and how great his butt is, and how well endowed he is.) T-M-I</p>
<p>Human Anatomy: "Wait, we only have one heart right?"
this actually happened today. Obviously, it's a mixed class.</p>
<p>During a performance of Macbeth for English H last year, someone was playing the Porter and said "We were carousing till the second dick." instead of "We were carousing till the second [rooster]."</p>
<p>Again in Human anatomy: "So is that procedure usually done under local or genital anesthesia?"</p>
<p>haha i cannot believe I forgot this one. It was way back in 8th grade honors World History.
We had a really hard teacher and we'd been told to write a paragraph about whether we'd rather live in Athens or Sparta
Predictablly, all the girls wanted to live in Sparta since they had freedom and all the guys wanted to live in Athens so they didnt need to go to war.
so after asking like 6 people,
Teacher: Ok, how about you Mike? Wake up!
(Mike wakes up)
Mike: Wha?
Teacher: Where would you rather live?
Mike: What? Oh. Sparta.
Teacher: Really? Why? (hoping for an insightful answer)
Mike: uh. cause the girls where short skirts there....</p>
<p>Mike has the right idea!</p>
<p>Well, it was during a debate competition a couple weeks ago, and I was bringing up elections as examples of linkage institutions. But, instead of "elections," I had a bit of a Freudian slip and said, "Electrons."</p>
<p>I'm SO glad it wasn't something else.</p>