<p>Me: I walk into class and look up at the board , problem set numbers are written on the board
:67,65,75,75
Me: Darn it, why did my teacher have to put my chemistry grades on the board…</p>
<p>Joke from girl in my class: I had two bowls for breakfast,one of them was cereal-
<p>Yeah, can’t think of the really funny ones yet… when I remeber them- I’ll let you know. I’m usually the class idiot in all my classes.</p>
<p>okay so this didn’t happen in a class but we all died laughing</p>
<p>our marching band had just finished the Christmas parade and we got on the bus and were about to leave well were we parked had those little cement things in front of it so we had to move to get out. so the bus driver starts backing up to get around the cement and one of our guard girls screams out “WAIT! BUSES CAN GO BACKWARDS?!?!??” </p>
<p>really? i mean really?</p>
<p>DANG IT!! Trumpetgrl already did mine 
i’ll have to do another.</p>
<p>okay soo…probably everyone has heard this but my friend ACTUALLY did this and i wanted to smack them lol</p>
<p>them: What’s idk?
me: i don’t know.
them: UGH really? no one knows!! i even googled it and it said i don’t know! grrr
me: oh. my. gosh. shut up you idiot!
them: what?
me: idk = I don’t know.
me: i-I d-Don’t k-Know.
them: ohh…
me: <em>rolls eyes</em>
them: WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?
*then i walked away…</p>
<p>9th grade history, discussing japan and pointing at a map.
Girl from class: wait… Japan is an island?!!</p>
<p>lol I’ll share…</p>
<p>Teacher: <em>points to Alaska</em> So, what country is this?
Girl 1: Oooh, oooh, Canada!
Teacher: Eh, actually-
Girl 2: It’s Alaska!</p>
<p>haha hilarious…if you give it a moment.</p>
<p>We have this really cool young math teacher lol, so he’s always commenting on clothes, accessories, and whatnot.</p>
<p>Teacher: Wow, (kid), I really love those new shorts.
Kid: Um, my mom got them.
Teacher: She really knows how to make you stick out, then!</p>
<p>lol after a few silent seconds everyone’s ■■■■■■■■■■ at him…</p>
<p>When asked what his favorite food is "mac con queso</p>
<p>“Mr. Hollis, my strawberries exploded in my backpack!” </p>
<p>-Seventh grade girl in my science class as a ziploc bag oozed crushed strawberries on her papers.</p>
<p>lol, these are hilarious! :D</p>
<p>Right before an AP World History test:</p>
<p><em>Friend rushes into class</em>
“Wait, who’s Zimbabwe?”</p>
<p>“WHY IS SHE SO UGLY WHEN SHE CRIES?!(referring to a girl crying in a movie we were watching) SOME GIRLS LOOK SUPER PRETTY WHEN THEY CRY BUT NOT HER”</p>
<p>Kid comes late to class.</p>
<p>Math Teacher- Where were you? Why are you late?
Kid- Sir, I was in the toilet.</p>
<p>Another Kid comes into class, even he was late.</p>
<p>Math Teacher- Why are you late?
Kid2- I was in the toilet.</p>
<p>Math teacher looks at his watch and says- Two boys in the toilet for twenty minutes, now I know what you were doing!! Was it good? Were you safe? <em>then he looks at the first kid and says</em> YOU lasted for twenty minutes!</p>
<p>The whole class started laughing.</p>
<p>“Is that a swastika?”</p>
<p>when someone pointed to a Star of David, this was the response from a cheerleader in my class. I’m still not sure if she acts dumb for the attention or not.</p>
<p>This was more like a joke, but somehow the teacher was convinced that the kid was serious:
Teacher: I’m going to play a video on my VHS.
Kid: Your what?
Teacher: My VHS.
Kid: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Teacher: You know, that thing you play video tapes in.
Kid: What are video tapes?
Teacher: …</p>
<p>Teacher: “What organization gave clothing to the needy and the new immigrants?”
Kid: “The Soviet Union!”</p>
<p>The answer was the Salvation Army…
And he’s a REALLY smart guy. We were teasing him all day about it.</p>
<p>talking about lotteries…</p>
<p>teacher: so, like the new york megamillions, $150 million…
kid: wait, teacher, has anyone actually… won one of those? could you imagine?</p>
<p>This is one my brother told me from his calc class about a student the teacher hated.</p>
<p>student: Guys, I got into Duke!!
teacher: Do they know you don’t do your homework?</p>
<p>Math class: </p>
<p>Math teacher : “Alright, so then, we need the amount of seconds in an hour. Anyone?”
Girl: <em>practically interrupts his ‘Anyone?’ and screams</em> “60x60!”
<em>class goes silent</em>
Math teacher : “…and that is…?”
Girl: <em>blank stare</em> “…I don’t know”</p>
<p>Class with the dean of my college:</p>
<p>Student: rants about how much of a prick Odysseus is.
Dean: Wow did you have some tiger’s milk this morning?
Student 2: Tigers have nipples??</p>
<p>Class laughs.</p>
<p>Student 3: Holy crap! Who’s going to milk a tiger? Isn’t that like dangerous?</p>
<p>Whole class burst out laughing. That was basically the end of class lol.</p>
<p>(Tiger’s milk is a nutritional bar.)</p>
<p>We’re taking a test on the Opium Wars. The class pot head blurts out, “They had opium back then?!”</p>
<p>“The YMCA is Christian? I thought it was Jewish!”</p>
<p>-from a smart person in 10th grade</p>