<p>“In honor of my newfound interest in curling, I’ve decided that the phrase ‘must pass the hog line’ should apply to other stuff too.”</p>
<p>I don’t remember exactly what she said, but a girl in my English class thought that Homeland Security is an alarm system you can buy for your house.</p>
<p>Shenck v. US in AP Govt.
'Nuff said.</p>
<p>Also, talking about Miranda rights…do you have to right to refuse a breathalizer…
Teacher: Now, do I know people who have refused to blow and gotten off? Yes. </p>
<p>…Oops :P</p>
<p>In 8th grade Intro to US History, the teacher was explaining some events which led to the Revolution, and so wrote “molasses” on the board while talking about overtaxation. Young man in the back of the room asks- dead serious- “Isn’t that the guy who parted the Red Sea?!”</p>
<p>That’d be Moses, buddy.</p>
<p>And then, of course, among the real gems from Driver’s Ed last year, during the lesson in which the teacher was explaining when to use hand signals instead of the blinkers, one girl raised her hand to ask a question.</p>
<p>Girl: “Um, which hand should we use to signal with?”
Teacher: (After several moments of silence and incredulity) “The one that won’t smack your passenger.”</p>
<p>I love high school.</p>
<p>This girl in my gym class freshman year asked her friend how old she was when she was 11.</p>
<p>“Do they speak Mexican in New Mexico?”
fr freshman in english class. yes, he said mexican.
Then someone wittingly replied “No, they speak New Mexican.”</p>
<p>“What was the Cold War?”</p>
<p>lol the same girl talked about her porn addiction in class…and she was being serious too…</p>
<p>We were discussing electrons / electrostatics in Physics.</p>
<p>Teacher: “So that’s how TV colors work!”
Very talkative boy: “Once, when I was young, I wanted a colored TV instead of a black/white TV. I then wrapped Saran Wrap on my TV because my grandma told me that if I did that, the TV would become colored!”
Another talkative yet smart girl: “Wow! Did it work??”</p>
<p><em>class bursts into laughter</em></p>
<p>** this was in AP Physics as well.</p>
<p>My math teacher…</p>
<ul>
<li><p>I’ma P Diddy this… I’m changing the game.</p></li>
<li><p>Brenda, oh SNAP! </p></li>
<li><p>I do everything perfect just like my mama said!</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Science…</p>
<ul>
<li>So after my son projectile threw up on me, my husband just sat there and asked “so… you need help?” No, idiot, I like the regurgitated grape juice and crackers in my hair.</li>
</ul>
<p>In AP Euro, talking about how not as many people smoke.(Btw we are a rich white/asian school and there are thirty people in classrom)</p>
<p>Teacher: I would be willing to bet an amount of money that nobody smokes in this room. Right, <em>student</em>?
Student: Uh… (very short pause and accidentally glanced to the student to her left)
Student: No </p>
<p>Class starts laughing because she looked at the student before she said no, and it was really suspicious lol.</p>
<p>Quote from AP bio teacher:
You want an analogy? well, bacterial transformations are like playing call of duty. Bacertia pick up random bits of DNA and maybe it helps them maybe it harms them. In Call of Duty you probably pick up random weapons even know you don’t know what the heck they do. Maybe its some awesome sniper and you out compete every other “Bacteria” or maybe you picked up a riot shield and died.</p>
<p>I lol’ed. Hard. He is actually a never good teacher, that was a bit much for me though</p>
<p>In my 8th grade math class, there was one b!tch who hated this one kid in our class, because she thought he was extremely annoying. One day after he said something, she said, “Oh my God (his name), if I were stuck on a deserted island with you, I’d throw you out a window.” Then the entire class just turned and stared and she didn’t get it.</p>
<p>Teacher: Mercury is 30 times heavier than water.
Student: Is that heavy?</p>
<hr>
<p>Student: If we could somehow speed up the speed of the sun, would it be possible to grow miniature animals?
Teacher: *blank stare</p>
<hr>
<p>Teacher: *talking about trees with medicinal bark
My friend (speaking to me): I’ll bet you $10 someone will ask if you can eat the bark
Seconds later, someone does</p>
<hr>
<p>Student: So did we bomb Japan before or after Peal Harbor?
Teacher: …</p>
<hr>
<p>Student: Did we bomb Japan with nothing but nuclear bombs.
Teacher: No… almost all were conventional weapons…</p>
<hr>
<p>Student: The panama canal is in minnesota
Teacher: No…
Student: I looked it up in the book
Teacher: What page
Student: uhhh…</p>
<hr>
<p>Student: So a “trust” in the early 1900s was when everyone trusted the company </p>
<hr>
<p>Student: I don’t understand… why do the numbers get smaller before A.D. and then bigger?</p>
<hr>
<p>Student: What’s a mastodon?</p>
<hr>
<p>Teacher: So what do you all want for xmas?
Student: The only thing I want for christmas is a date with you, Ms. W.
Teacher: uhh, I think I’d get fired for that</p>
<hr>
<p>Student: (for the tenth time): So where do babies come from?
Teacher: I’ve told you before, matt, you need to talk to me AFTER class if you want to learn extra information
Class: ???..</p>
<p>Teacher: Within the storage tanks are many hazardous chemicals. Can I have some examples?</p>
<p>Student: Geranium.</p>
<p>In Algebra 2 class last year in 10th grade I am taking a test and the kid next to me whispers “What’s 3*0?”</p>
<p>LOL, this is tooo funny.
BUMP!!!</p>
<p>Most of these were said in AP Calc
Slutty girl: “Waiting on a pregnancy test is the longest 2 minutes of your life”</p>
<p>AP Chem teacher to slutty girl: “You’re screwed, and not in the way you like”</p>
<p>Slutty girl: “I understood math until calculus”
Math teacher: “Do you remember your test grades from last year?”</p>
<p>Slutty girl: “I was scared to go to the obgyn and my mom said ‘you opened your legs before, you can open them again’”</p>
<p>AP chem student: “Can you fill a condom like a water balloon?”
Slutty girl: “Lets try it! I have a few in my purse”</p>
<p>Slutty girl: “So I got drunk and broke my ankle by falling in a hole but I didn’t realize it so I danced and then got down with my boyfriend for 2 hours before I felt the pain”</p>
<p>Slutty girl: “I decided to be a good student and not smoke weed this morning. But I am going to smoke at lunch”</p>
<p>Slutty girl: “So before we called the cops we had to flush all the seeds”</p>
<p>Slutty girl: “4/20 is on a monday?! I’m having a 3-day weekend!”
Other girl: “Whats 4/20”
<em>Slutty girl almost punches her</em></p>
<p>AP Chem teacher: “A couple was paid to have sex for scientific purposes”
Slutty girl: “I would love to get paid to have sex”</p>
<p>hahahaha =D slutty girl</p>
<p>i have one moment i just thought of. i was telling a friend about a mistake another friend made.</p>
<p>me: haha, on the quiz there was a question that said “what state is directly north of us” (i live in connecticut btw) and she put vermont! haha!
friend: haha wow! …wait, it’s virginia right?
me: <em>facepalm</em></p>
<p>…i’m not even joking…</p>
<p>I have a computer class and I’m the only Junior in it, I sit in the back corner all alone and everyone else is Seniors. A new student came in and decided to sit next to me. She was a pregnant gangster who stood out in this Pre-AP class. She is on the internet looking up her grades.
Gangster: *** I am failing all of my classes
Me: I’m sorry
Gangster: My highest grade is a 35!!!
Me: Oh poor baby</p>
<p>30 minutes later
Gangster: So wuzup homie
Me: Can’t figure out the formula this book is asking me to do on excel
Gangster: Oh let me help you baby!
Me: Uhh okay…
Gangster: Okay it looks like you are using the vlook up function so looking at this numerically distributed data you are going to look for the table array which will be your table of information then you are going to tell it which data you are searching for.
Me: *** how do you know this? What school did you come from?
Gangster: I came from Juvenille but that is not where I learned this.</p>
<p>Awkward Silence</p>