<p>In my Robotics II class last year, we needed to build and program a robot that could pick up and sort different color Easter Eggs and a friend of mine suggests he’ll get some, but we say he shouldn’t worry about it, so he responds:</p>
<p>“I only mentioned it because it would let me steal from my church”. </p>
<p>So great</p>
<p>Teacher walks into class; " WHERE IS THE BLACKBOARD!!!"</p>
<p>Student 1: I’m thinking of a number between 1-10. I pick 6
Student 2: Okay… I pick 4.</p>
<p>in APUSH about the Cold War.</p>
<p>Student: How come the Soviet Union didn’t nuke America when it has the chance?</p>
<p>Teacher: It’s like how you got to third base but you’re too scared to go to fourth.</p>
<p>I didn’t get it at first, but then I realized what she meant.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t the slaves choke on the smoke when they were on the Underground Railroad?”-random student in a history class</p>
<p>“The Greeks were big on drinking and sex holidays. See, that was before the days of the GameBoy, so they had to do something in their spare time.”-history teacher</p>
<p>My AP Human Geography teacher today:</p>
<p>Kid: Is Columbia an Ivy League school?</p>
<p>Teacher: NO! (Definitive tone)</p>
<p>Teacher: You know, I always thought that the Ivy League was just a term that we used to describe elite schools, but I found out the other day that it really exists.</p>
<p>Teacher: It’s either Columbia or NYU that doesn’t have a campus.</p>
<p>All today.</p>
<p>Teacher: Print this in grayscale. </p>
<p>Girl: What’s grayscale?</p>
<p>She also didn’t know how to say determined. She said it “det-er-mind-ed”</p>
<p>Thank god she’s so hot</p>
<p>Talking about how some leader did not like Jews. The teacher says it was because he was Protestant, so the Jews were different. Student: Well, I’m Protestant, and I love Jews!</p>
<p>English Teacher: I just wanted to buy a cheap used iPod! I thought $20 was a reasonable price, Its not like I was trying to Jew the kid or anything…</p>
<p>Kid: So… Hoover built the hoovervilles for people to live in.
Teacher: No(laughing hysterically inside).</p>
<p>9th grade health (girl in the back of the room): “Does the Sun ever catch on fire?”</p>
<p>(Same girl; later in the year, when asked the question ‘what would you do to survive in the desert’): “Oh, I’d just eat the grass.”</p>
<p>Girl doing a presentation on silver: Ancient peoples have used the element silver. For example, the Greeks, the Turkish, and the country of (long pause, some muttering of breath) Is Rome a country? The country of Rome? Yeah, the Romans.</p>
<p>She looks at the teacher who just stares at her oldly. Everyone was trying not to laugh.</p>
<p>During college research presentations this year:</p>
<p>“The average SAT score for an accepted candidate is 2570.”</p>
<p>Overheard this in my physics class the other day…</p>
<p>“Why are they making ‘hella’ 10^27? Why not 1^27?”
“Because that would be 1…”</p>
<p>I have the craziest AP Chem teacher…</p>
<p>“If two things are similar, they repel each other. If they’re opposites, then they’re married - uh, I mean, attract.”</p>
<p>“Sure, you can take a group test. But then you’d have to split up the points. So if you get a 100, both of you get a 50.” // “Hey, Fred, can I borrow 1/10 of you?”</p>
<p>My senile AP Biology teacher: “I’m not a racist; I own a colored television!”</p>
<p>Chemistry Teacher: Kyrstin, your eyes are very pretty.
Kyrstin: Aww thanks 
Chemistry Teacher: They would look prettier with your lab goggles on
Kyrstin: *** do I need lab goggles for?
Chemistry Teacher: The lab you are doing…</p>
<p>Then another day of chemistry class</p>
<p>Chemistry Teacher: David, why didn’t you make a move! Ashley was wide open!
David: Huh?
Chemistry Teacher: I did not even hear one line, at least you could comment on how she looks?
David: <em>looks at Ashely</em> You have pretty eyes
Ashley: …
Chemistry Teacher: Ashley nows your chance! Say something nice back!
Ashley: You look cute…?
Chemistry Teacher: Well this is why we are practicing.</p>
<p>Muhaha. This thread is hilarious. I wish I had a funny incident to share.</p>
<p>Quote from my physics teacher
“We should sell water bottles to kids like pet rocks because you guys play with those things like crazy… except its not a rock its a water bottle”
another quote from him
“So what, you guys are the product of the 90s right? Worst generation ever! Today I decided to listen to the radio and went around twice…you know 2 times, and couldn’t find anything good…it’s all crap! Your music is just awful”</p>
<p>I found a few of these in my journal. They’re from my psychology class last year, when my teacher was explaining what to do in case of a fire, earthquake, intruder, etc.</p>
<p>Student A: Where do we go if there’s a fire in the middle of the classroom?
Teacher: Don’t start a fire in my classroom!</p>
<p>Student A: What happens if the fire starts out in the hall and comes inside.
Teacher: Then we’re going out the window.
Student B: But we’re on the second floor! Do you want us to jump?
Student C: We’re all dead!
Teacher: No! I have rope! Don’t worry.</p>
<p>Teacher: So when there’s an intruder alert, you want to lie down on the ground because the shooter probably won’t aim for the ground. All the bullets will just fly over our head! Also, remember not to make any noise. Why don’t you want to make noise?
Student D: Because we’ll attract the shooter!
Student E: It’s also because the shooter may be on the first floor and he’ll hear us upstairs, so he’ll just start shooting upwards.
Student F: …That defeats the whole purpose of lying down on the ground!</p>
<p>Student C: What’s the alarm for an earthquake drill? They always do that right after an intruder alert, so I’ve never heard it…
Student B: You know what the alarm is? THE GROUND SHAKING!</p>