Best Stupid Quotes from Class

Pre-College Issues High School Life
121

<p>Ok, this isn't a funny quote so much as a REALLY funny situation.</p>

<p>10th grade, 4th period choir. The girls were sitting in the middle and on the right, and the boys were on the left side of the room because the girls were practicing a section together and needed to sit close together in order to hear one another.</p>

<p>So all of a sudden the the sopranos (the girls on the right) start snickering, and we're all looking around trying to figure out what's funny, when all of a sudden the girl next to me leans over and goes, "[HGFM], look, Mr. X's fly is open!"</p>

<p>So then the Altos (my section & the girls in the middle) start laughing, and pretty soon the girls are all howling with laughter. Then Mr. X starts looking around trying to figure out what's so funny.</p>

<p>FINALLY, the boys get wind of it (our boys are a little slow) and one of them walks over and whispers in his ear. He immediately turns around to "close the barn door".</p>

<p>Oh man. Good times.</p>

<p>More fun choir times:</p>

<p>The teacher has a book he keeps on the piano (AKA his desk) where he writes down what students are misbehaving that day, affectionately known as the "Naughty book". So one day...</p>

<p>students are explaining the rules to a new student.</p>

<p>New student raises his hand and asks, "But why do you keep a naughty book on the piano? Isn't that like...against school policy?"</p>

<p>11th grade, we're practicing the song "Smoke gets in your eyes".</p>

<p>Teacher: "I was once asked to sing this at a funeral."
Random kid: "How did they die?"
Teacher: "In a fire."</p>

<p>this year. We were practicing a song where the word "but" had a fermata over it. (fermata just means you're supposed to hold the note and watch the director until he/she gives you a cutoff.)</p>

<p>Teacher: "Make sure you watch me so you don't cut off your 'but' too early."</p>

<p>9th grade. We were preparing to take our theory tests, and to choose which one (there are 6 examples of sightsinging and rhythm to choose from), we have to roll a little foam dice (however you say that in the singular). None of us were as prepared as we should have been.</p>

<p>Girl in my section: "We should call it the Dice O' Doom."</p>

<p>So now they are indeed the Dice O' Doom.</p>

122

<p>In my AP Calculus class one day, anout half way through the year, we wer doing a problem involving graphs that go to infinity. My teacher had just drawn an infinity on the board and this guy was like, "Oh my gosh!" So of course we all asked what happend, and he was like, "I just realized that I've been drawing my infinities backward!"</p>

123

<p>Teacher to some girl with last name Midgett "Julia Midgett. Midgett? Thats not your real last name is it? Are you like really short or something?"</p>

<p>[Teacher referring to a problem about "heads of cattle"]
"What? (disgusted look) What kind of sick company uses the HEADS of COWS in their beef?!"</p>

<p>[after polling our class to see who was a vegetarian]
"See, that never made any sense to me. I mean, why not eat animals? They're..... you know, made of MEAT."</p>

<p>All same teacher...he got fired :D</p>

124

<p>^^^ouch</p>

<p>the same "that's what she said" conductor was standing by me while i tuned the orchestra, and the oboe was horribly out of tune.</p>

<p>So, I made a reference to the snake charmer very innocently by saying, "the snake isn't coming out the hole" and he gave me this priceless look.</p>

125

<p>9th grade health class.
some idiot: "Do christians like doing it missionary style?"</p>

126

<p>K so this one is actually from a teacher!</p>

<p>my HONORS english teacher in 9th grade wrote this 'haiku; on the board</p>

<p>the frog
it leaps
so sad</p>

<p>needless to say, we thought she was dumb as a rock.</p>

<p>also, a girl in my friends bio class thought that the sun and the moon were the SAME THING!!</p>

127

<p>i remembered another one
from my amazing global teacher-
'in most countries, the birth rate is decreasing because of birth control and other things. not in russia. that's because they don't get cable."</p>

128

<p>In my chem class, my teacher puts up on the board</p>

<p>2 + 6 - 4 = ?</p>

<p>Teacher: What does that equal?</p>

<p>Girl: OHH OH DO PEMDAS!!!!!!!</p>

129

<p>"It is mainly a certain small minority group of students causing trouble in the hallways"
-Principal over the loudspeaker</p>

<p>Everyone knew he was trying to say "small group" or "minority" of students causing problems, but it was funny nonetheless</p>

130

<p>In Spanish class the other day, someone said something wrong as an answer to her question, really not a big deal. But then suddenly, she just started wildly cracking up for some reason, even though she pretty much never laughs at all. She had to take a 5 minute break to sit down and cool off while the whole class just wondered what was so funny. </p>

<p>In Geometry, the we were talking about circumscribing a triangle, and then where the teacher meant to say circumscribe, he says circumcise. I actually he think he did it on purpose to try and be funny, but it was pretty awkward.</p>

<p>In Social Studies last year, the teacher could not keep us under even slight control, and would have screaming episodes every 5 minutes. One day, someone brought in a tape recorder so we could share his episodes with those who were not so lucky to enjoy his screaming.</p>

131

<p>In USH we have to write "bills" to go before congress-which is our class.</p>

<p>John (bless him) writes a bill saying that men must stand when a female enters the room, acknowledge, take off his hat, give up seat if necessary yadda yadda</p>

<p>Hugh-"Mr President (our techer), what if the female is a hooker?"
John- "She is still a woman and you still would have to show respect"
Hugh-"Mr president, what if it is a hooker whom I have paid for her services? Do I still have to give up my chair for her?"
John- "You still have to show respect, she is a woman."
Hugh- "Mr president, what if it is a hooker who I have paid for her services, but then turns out to be a man attired as a woman?"</p>

<p>congress was called into order</p>

132

<p>Haha, someone in student coucil had the marvellous idea of naming our prom "A night in Paris" after her role model</p>

133

<p>My English teacher my junior year:</p>

<p>"Now, I want you all to pretend that you're in church, and if you talk, you'll burn in hell."</p>

<p>HAHA.</p>

<p>I have another one for my IB History class. I used to date an asian guy, and we'd hold hands in the hallway. Whenever my history teacher would walk by, he'd give us a funny look. So he was talking about this...</p>

<p>Teacher: I like giving people funny looks, because then it leaves them wondering...</p>

<p>Me: Oh, is that why? I always thought it was because you're racist.</p>

<p>Teacher: .....:0</p>

<p>Up until we broke up, my history teacher would make constant references to the fact that he's not racist, haha.</p>

134

<p>In physical science, my class (only about 15 of us) were building a rollercoaster out of Kinex or whatever they're called, the little plastic things. And someone says, No no no! thats too big to go in there! and of course, some guy shouts out, THATS WHAT SHE SAID!
it was priceless. </p>

<p>and in another class, we were having an off topic discussion about people hurting us, like a boyfriend or friend betraying you or something, and the new girl who had only been there about a week says, Well my parents abused me.</p>

<p>the room goes silent and our teacher just says, ...oh.</p>

<p>i admit that wasn't really funny but it was just like, what the heck!</p>

135

<p>Lets see psychology class, we were doing an "experiment" on operational learnng and they were trying to get me to do pushups and sice health is held in the same room the teacher said "think of what I've seen students do on the floor"</p>

<p>good times...and I got skittles from that :O</p>

136

<p>Teacher trying to recall the name of a colleague: "Dammit, what was his name, I forgot it..."
Student: "Gnarls Barkley?"
"No, it wasn't Gnarls Barkley..."
"Well no **** it wasn't Gnarls Barkley"</p>

<p>"The test is Friday, guys."
"It can't be on Friday, Friday is a leap day, its not even a real day"
"Alright. Test on Monday."</p>

137

<p>While we were doing Oedipus:
Teacher: Do think that Oedipus would be guilty of incest today?
Student: Wait, didn't Jocasta (Oedipus' mother/wife) know she was his mother before she married him?
Teacher: No...that would've been wrong and-
Student: What's wrong with incest?
Teacher: Do you know what incest is?
Student: Yeah....
Teacher: Okay....</p>

<p>In math:
Teacher: How did you get that answer?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: You've done magic. You can't do that. Only I, as the teacher, can do magic. You must show the work.</p>

138

<p>wait, is Australia a Country, an island, or a continent? </p>

<p>from a girl who I'm pretty sure doesn't have a brain, or at least not much of one.</p>

<p>also, this was in Spanish class.</p>

139

<p>Fire has one syllable according to my dictionary...</p>

140

<p>In AP Lang while discussing Walden:</p>

<p>Girl: "It's a BOOK! We're reading A BOOK!!"</p>