Bored? Grade my essay.

Test Preparation
1

<p>Do you think that people are capable of finding happiness or are they always searching for something beyond what they have?</p>

<p>This is total bs... but whatever... here goes.</p>

<p>"It is a universally acknowledged truth that one can never have enough "stuff." Whether the "stuff" is money, clothes, or even food, the current generation has made it a point that more is always better. However, while always seeking to obtain things seems like a harmless way of fulfilling one's 'right to the pursuit of happiness,' it also has brought a negative impact on a society which appears to be constantly looking for (but never finding) joy. Indeed, as we take a deeper look at the darkness of human nature and the ascetic lifestyle of monks, we will clearly see that it is virtually impossible to find happiness in the here and now--we always want more.</p>

<p>Many great thinkers have come to the conclusion that the inherent state of human nature is lawlessness, disobedience, and avarice. This seems to be the very point of view developed by William Golding in his novel The Lord of the Flies. In the book, Golding strips away the pretensions of civilized life to uncover the raw form of human nature, and the developments are quite shocking. A group of ostensibly normal boys is transformed into a pack of savage beasts as they work to satiate their own desires in everything they do. This, of course, leads us to question the natural state of man. Aren't we all just trying to fulfill our own pleasures? In short, so much of life is focused on getting what we want, that we never seem to be satisfied until we can get more.</p>

<p>Now some may claim that this isn't entirely true, for individuals such as monks are at peace with the world and certainly do not desire anything more than what they have. This is a noble thought, but it is entirely fallacious. Although monks and others who practice a lifestyle of self-denial rarely seek material delights, their natural state of desire manifests itself through a thirst for more inner peace, or a better relationship with God. You see, they are not entirely happy with what they have. And although they seek to obtain different things than most people, they still live in accordance with the philosophy that more is always better.</p>

<p>All of this leads us back to the question: can we ever truly be happy with what we have? As we saw, the inherent state of greed in which we are born precludes any possiblity of total fulfillment in this world. Unfortunately, it appears as if mankind will contine to search for more, but will never get enough."</p>

<p>So... just a score and then a few comments of what I should do next time would be helpful... thanks guys.</p>

2

<p>Since no one else seems inclined to grade your essay, I'll be the first. For starters, I have to commend you on such exemplary BSing. :)</p>

<p>Seriously, I like how you threw out the standard formulaic essay advised by so many test prep companies and just did your own thing. I would honestly grade this a 12. Though, admittedly enough, I don't have any experience in grading SAT essays so my appraisal may be a wee off...However, I like to think what I say matters. </p>

<p>You had squeaky clean transitions, appropriate examples, and best of all, good reasoning and logic. Your ideas flowed well together. The only thing I could suggest improving is the introduction. The first two opening sentences were a bit odd with the "stuff." You had me worried there! Overall, though, I would grade this a 12.</p>

3

<p>Cryptic, what would you grade mine? I'll tell you the actual grade after.</p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>We often hear that we can learn much about someone or something just by casual observation. We are not required to look beneath the surface or to question how something seems. In fact, we are urged to trust our impressions, often our first impressions, of how a person or a situation seems to be. Yet appearances can be misleading. What “seems” isn’t always what is.</p>

<p>Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>My Response:
In one story, The Use of Force by Carlos Williams, a doctor examines an ill child for diphtheria. The child struggles to keep her mouth closed as the doctor tries to examine her throat and does not want to be touched while her parents encourage her to open her mouth to let the "nice man" check her symptoms. She still refuses to open her mouth and the doctor becomes frustrated with her to the point where he wants to slap her. Finally, with much grit and time, he sees her infected tonsils covered with mucous. To a basic reader, all that is seen is a brat child making a doctor's job more difficult. When examined at a deeper level using the principles of Jung, this story is about loss of innocence and rape. The doctor represents the rapist using force and his power as a "nice man" to take her innocence; the innocence that is being taken is the girl's secret of her swolen tonsils. So, just because this story does not directly address the issue of rape or forceful loss of innocence does not mean it is not about that. Stories like this are what makes things different from what they seem.</p>

4

<p>To running: 8? dunno, it seems a bit short =P
To liberty: i think it's a 12 =)</p>

5

<p>No offense, but that was the biggest pile of verbose bull droppings I've ever read in my life. If I were a high school English teacher, I would give you a D+. But if I were an SAT grader, ok, like, an 11 or 12. Good job?</p>

6

<p>on a scale of wha exactly?</p>

7

<p>I got a 12. Length doesn't really matter. </p>

<p>Yeah, I didn't make it long to be an exceptional paper for a teacher to give me an "A". I just answered the the question completely and directly in a "rough draft" form. I thought I would get a 9 or 10 so I was suprised at the 12.</p>

8

<p>I don't believe they gave you a 12 for that 200 word essay. Length and structure are two main criteria for SAT scoring. You didn't even have paragraph breaks, did you?</p>

9

<p>I'm also very suprised to see that you got a 12. Honestly, I wouldn't have given you a 12 or even a 10 and it's not even a matter of length. Is that from an actual test or was that from a practice test? I'm sorry but I am literally stumped at how the essay qualifies as a 12 essay.</p>

10

<p>To the OP, I'd give it a 12. Running, how did you get a 12? lol. I really don't see how your essay relates to the topic.</p>

11

<p>Flipsta, I don't know who told you length matters because it doesn't. You have 25 minutes to create a topic so they aren't expecting three pages of genious writing; they are expecting a rough draft of any length that answers the question through. As I said, I was suprised I got a 12; a 9 or 10 maybe, but not a 12.</p>

12

<p>Running, I repeat my question again: Is that score from an actual SAT exam?</p>

13

<p>But it has no structure (intro and thesis, conclusion, etc.). It looks like an analysis-type short answer response for an English class more than an essay.</p>

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<p>I see how it does, and the graders do, too. That's all I care about. It's one of those things open to interpretation. </p>

<p>It was an actual question on a test given to me a week later from the original testing date (there was a bunch of stuff that happened... storms, a fire here burned many of the tests, etc. so they allowed us an alternate one) so it isn't listed as one given. </p>

<p>I asked my aunt who lives just outside of Princeton (she grades SAT essays for ETS as well as well as the AP Language tests) if they were correct in their grading. She said she would have given the same score. I asked three of the English teachers at my school(who also grade SAT essays... I have the "hook up" LOL) to look at my score to grade it 1-6 based on SAT standards. I got two 6's and one 5. So, who knows. I just know I'm glad I got a 12.</p>

15

<p>Geez, that was fast, y'all. LOL</p>

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<p>Taken from the College Board website, stating that they grade "holistically":</p>

<p>College Board Vice President Jim Montoya, who is responsible for managing the SAT Program, stressed that readers are trained to score essays "holistically"; that is, they evaluate essays not by adding up (or taking off) points for organization, development, sentence structure, vocabulary, etc., but by judging the overall impression created by all of the elements of writing working together in an essay. "In that way, readers are able to evaluate very different types of essays with equal fairness," Montoya said. "Any essay that effectively blends insightful development, a smooth progression of ideas, and the skillful use of language will score very well, regardless of the approach the writer takes."</p>