@cityran I am not sure if you are the mom or dad - but I just want to comment about girls and moms…My older one, the daughter, used to literally dump ALLLLLL her stress on me. Then she was better. I held onto that stress and assumed she was having trouble. When her dad would talk to her she had a much more rosy outlook and things were much better. So we had a system where we made sure we both talked to her - I would mention things to him that I wanted him to check on and he would talk to her about them. So it could be a mom/daughter thing. Still totally valid, which is why my husband and I tag teamed it, but things were not quite as bad as I always thought they were.
@one1ofeach I am the mom, aka the emotional dumping ground. Fortunately, we haven’t had much communication from her in the past few days. No news is good news!
We also just finished with our zoom parent teacher conferences and she’s doing really well in all of her classes, which is great to hear. Speaking with all of her incredible teachers reminded us that it’s really worth sticking through these ups and downs!!
@cityran the emotional dumping ground is not fun!! Glad you got good news from the teachers. I think when kids get the “you’re doing well here” message it takes some of the stress off of them. They just don’t know at first how they will fit into the BS life and since most of them come from the land of A+s it can be hard. Hopefully this helps her settle in a bit more.
I’m so crossing my fingers that all of our kids get a winter/spring term. I’m watching covid numbers go up and crossing my fingers hard. I can’t have my kid miss a second spring term in a row.
Kids are trying new things this year. The scholastic and athletic calendars have been changed so many times. The silver lining is, kids might be open to trying something new. With luck, kids who have done it before will welcome them. Resilience and change is now the norm. @ChoatieMom I tried so hard to get my kids to do crew. Great sport and gets them up early on Saturday morning. Such a great team camraderie in crew, very similar to running.
A quick update over here – DD2 had a (non-covid) medical issue (which had its own complications), and since she needed care off-site, she broke quarantine and then had to leave the dorms, which were just announced – need to be completely empty for Thanksgiving. Nothing like a sudden trip across the country to empty out a dorm room to get the adrenaline going. So we are all home now, and DD2 is pretty cranky about having to be virtual while friends are in person. Plus she missed a couple of days due to the whole ordeal so now she has to catch up. Fun times over here.
Oh no @Calliemomofgirls! Does that mean that DD2 is not going back after the holidays? Is her school remote for the remainder of the year? Ouch.
We just heard today that DD’s school will have an extended winter break at home, then back to campus on 2/1 to stay for the remainder. No spring break and school will end with graduation in early May.
@Calliemomofgirls oh no! First, I hope she’s ok. Second, I’m so sorry that she has to be virtual - that would be devastating to my kid and he already is used to his school. I can imagine her teenage crankiness is in ultra high gear so hugs to her but double hugs to you because handling this is going to be hard.
It’s interesting to me that all these schools are taking to each other constantly but every one is doing something different.
Wow what a roller coaster. Hope she recovers fast and time flies quickly until she can get back to school. Cool that she made really good friends that fast, but sad that she misses them.
I do get the impression that the schools are all talking to each other all the time. I am glad for that. Nothing brings home how different the schools are more than how they are dealing with this situation. Speaks to so many differences – how isolated/pourous the school is, the weather, the way the institutions make decisions, what the nearby communities are like, what the priorities are, how they communicate with families, what the dorms and food system is like, etc, the interaction with day students, approach to grading, adaptability, so many ways. One size does not fit all.
Thanks for the kind words. Unsure what January will look like (virtual or on campus – I’m betting on virtual since everyone has to move out dorms.) Honestly, everything feels like a big huge mess over here. Every single person in our family is dealing with random fallout from this strange season, and we are all nearing our emotional capacity. For example, turns out DD3 may need second heart surgery to address continued chest pain (suspected after months of testing: not tolerating the metal in the wire keeping her sternum together.) Just one of a gazillion things just not going great-but-made-worse-by-Covid. Each kiddo has a few yucky things like this happening right now. I’m trying to keep everyones’ heads above water, but honestly the treading required below the line to keep things afloat is wearing on me. I think I can safely say: this has been my least favorite year of my life so far. (Finally edging out 1989 when I lost my only parent to suicide.). So I am definitely #team2021.
@Calliemomofgirls I’m so sorry to hear that. I don’t even know what to say, other than I too am counting the days down until 2021, really hoping life for everyone gets better then.
I too am worried about school going back in January. I didn’t realize our school is being closely monitored by the state’s department of health and must abide by their regulations. We were told recently that the school will be forced to shut down if they reach isolation capacity (20) and/or have 2 cases that a spread “in the classroom”. We have now had 5 students and 5 faculty test positive since early August. As far as I know, no cases of spreading. But I’m getting less and less confident that school will go back in January.
Sounds like many schools are considering not bringing students back until the second to third weeks in January. The goal is to build-in an at home quarantine, after family socializing during the holidays. Plus, it gives more time to observe trends.
Some schools are also considering making day students go remote, if they are coming from surrounding counties with high infection rates.
Cityran apologies for being so late to post…kudos to your daughter for going out for water polo it is one of the physically challenging sports there is. As a former (many pounds and years ago) swimmer/water polo player I hated the first week of water polo. I’m sorry about the “no cut/cut” issue that is frustrating…I’m not sure how “games/scrimmages” would work but water polo is one of those sports that isn’t fun doing if all you do is workout but never play. Anyway…be proud for her willingness to pick such a challenging sport!!
@Calliemomofgirls , late to the game here. I am so sorry for all your family is going through right now and can understand how exhausting the “pillar of strength”/ “keep the trains running” job is for you and how it relegates self-care to the bottom of the list.
It’s not a hot bath, a glass of wine, or a sense of peace, but if a virtual hug and knowing you all are being held in the Light helps even a wee bit, it’s coming at you from this corner of the world.
After a 3 month hiatus I’m happy to be back. Sending greetings to all and glad to catch up.
I can’t believe our kiddos have been in school for 4 months. DD settled in after a bumpy start and I’m thrilled to have her home remote learning. They (Blair) are meant to be back in person on campus mid Feb but since she’ll have to quarantine she goes back Mar 1.
When is everyone else due back in person? It’ll be interesting to see how different it will be post vaccine rollout.
Somehow I lost this thread in the transition to the new update. Kiddo is scheduled to go back next weekend. They will have a 7-14 day quarantine before starting in person classes at the end of March. Now that she’s been home for 4 months she is dragging her feet about going back so I’m trying to remind her of all the things she loves at school.
In better news, I’m thrilled to see the vaccine numbers increase and case numbers decrease. Hopefully NJ will be able to ease up on restrictions soon as Ct and Mass are doing so students can get back to a more normal experience. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter!!
Is your daughter back at school this fall? Does she like it? My daughter just started BS ‘24 and has moments where it seems to be going well and others when she is really anxious about being there long term. Just wanted to see if you had any helpful advice or how your daughter is doing.
My daughter is a new sophomore and literally just got there on Saturday.
Such a great team camraderie in crew, very similar to running.