Can anyone give this essay a numbered grade?

<p>The pursuit of our desires gives us pleasure and satisfaction. Several examples from history clearly demonstrate that chasing after our happiness is delightful. </p>

<pre><code>Hayao Miyazaki, now a renown animation director, obtained most of his pleasure during his early days as an underpaid animator pursuing his goals. In 1963, he graduated Gakushuin University with degrees in both Political Science and Economics. He directly went to work at Toei studios in the same year. While working there, he was proud to call himself an animator for a highly renown animation studio in Tokyo, Japan. He worked on such films as “Future Boy Conan” and “Gulivers travels to the Moon”—which gained him personal recognition in the animation community. Furthermore, he had the pleasure of meeting Isap Takahata—an animation director. The two worked on the critically acclaimed film series “Lupin the Third.” Thus, Hayao Miyazaki days being an underpaid animator proved that he got more pleasure working his way up.

Olaudah Equiano, a former slave, got most of his joy from his involvement in Britain’s abolitionist movement. During this period of time, he helped with the movement by giving well-versed speeches at parties and private gatherings. He spoke about being kidnaped when he was ten from his village of Igbo in Guinea, his captivity on a slave boat making its way through the middle passage, and even being renamed from Equaino to Gustavus Vaca. Furthermore, at one of these public gatherings, he received a suggestion from a colleague of his to write a book. Olaudah realized this was a brilliant idea. It took it several months, but, however, he managed to write the first slave narrative in history. As a result, the book lead to his fortune that he would depend on for the rest of his life. Thus, Equaino was able to get out his fears and finally tell the story of his horrible upbringing to Britain before he reached his fame and fortune.

Bill Gates, now a business magnate, experienced most of his satisfaction in his early college years. During his time in grade school, he had an innate interest in computers. His goal was to one day make his own and study at Harvard—he got his wish. After graduating from Lake Side high school in 1970, he studied at Harvard for four years in computer science. He decided to create his own version of the basic programming language of MITS Altair Micro Computer. Moreover, he had fun working with new programs, learning from his classes, and meeting future business associates Paul Allen and Steve Ballmer. Thus, the experience of attending Harvard brought him the kind of pleasure he can only reminisce about now that he is the founder of Microsoft.

After a critical analysis of Hayao Miyazaki, Olaudah Equiano, and Bill Gates, one can see that the pursuit of our desires, indeed, gives us pleasure and satisfaction. Had Hayao Miyazaki, Olaudah Equiano, and Bill Gates not had any pleasure while working to the top, they wouldn’t have been able to pursue their desires. Appreciating the happiness that surrounds you while climbing up to the top is highly consequential.
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<p>[Do any of the examples go off topic?]</p>

<p>There are several small errors in the essay, but it is well-written and would probably get a 6. </p>

<p>I don’t think your examples are off topic so much as that they don’t quite do what you want them to do. Your development stresses the individuals’ accomplishments, but does not really emphasize how they ENJOYED achieving them. The Bill Gates paragraph came the closest in that regard. You assert he “had fun”. You don’t show him having fun through stories. You don’t quote him saying he had fun fun fun 'till his daddy took his T-bird away. You don’t present anyone who knew him at the time describing how Gates whistled while he worked. Still, it’s a well-written essay.</p>

<p>11-12 (6-6 would not be hard with that essay!)</p>

<p>Probably an 11 just because there’s probably a really cranky old lady in the SAT grading room who doesn’t like her job.</p>

<p>Gates did not go to Harvard for four years. He dropped out because of his anxiety that others would see the opening in the software market and fill it before he did. he was terrified - not having fun.</p>

<p>The connection between the biographical iformation you present and the “pleasure” is not clear. This is interesting reading, but not too persuasive.</p>

<p>I would give it a 10, maybe an 11 because there is so much there and the SAT graders love volume.</p>