Can someone critique my UC Prompt #1 personal statement

College Essays
1

<p>Im turning in my UC app today and i just want some final advice on my Essay. IF you are interested please PM me and i will send you them.</p>

2

<p>I’ll give it a read!</p>

3

<p>can you give me your email i dont have enough posts to PM you</p>

4

<p>I sent a pm to you with email</p>

5

<p>it blocked out everything after hollander95</p>

6

<p>email my email and then i can reply to you with the essay: <a href=“mailto:rushil9—@-----------gmail------------.com”>rushil9—@-----------gmail------------.com</a></p>

7

<p>yahoo . c o m</p>

8

<p>alirght i sent it to your email</p>