Can you guys score this essay please?

<p>Topic: Are peoples lives the result of the choices they make?</p>

<p>People are put into difficult situations of having to choose between several choices. In the process of doing so, they put into account many different factors. It is important to make good choices, for life itself is merely a linkage of the results of such different choices. Although others may say that ones life is rather formed through one actions, because making choices is the start of any result, peoples lives are ultimately the result of the many choices they make. </p>

<p>People are all in different situations, some that are harmful while others are in supportive environments. While we cannot control the innate situations we are put in, people have the power to make better choices for themselves.. Michael Jordan , considered as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, may not have had the chance to attain such title had he failed to make the right choice at the right time. Although most people only remember Jordan as being a basketball player, he actually spent a part of his time pursuing a career in baseball. He quit basketball to play baseball, an obviously bad choice since Jordan was not much good at baseball. After failing to produce results in baseball, Jordan made one of the best decisions in his life. He chose to quit baseball and return to the game of basketball. In the end Michael Jordan is remembered as a great man, who made the right choices at the right time. </p>

<p>On the other hand, there are cases where the best choices, may not have the best effect on ones life. The great decisions by the fifteenth president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, change the fate of America. Prior to there being any direct military contact between the Union and the Confederate states, the to sides of the US were hotly debating the issue of slavery. As tensions got more intense, the desperate Confederates decided to attack the Union fort, Fort Sumner. In the aftermath of such attack, Lincoln was put into a difficult situation. He could either retaliate and start a civil war in the meaning of freeing slavery, or do nothing and let the Confederates get away for the attack, ensuring that the country will have no chance of becoming segregated. In the end he chose the first option, and luckily freed slavery while maintaing the US as well/ Unfortunately for Lincoln, he was eventually killed as a retaliation for such decision. In the end, it was once again decisions that, once again, changed the life of a man.</p>

<p>Finally, in the novel “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D Salinger, the main character Holden, views the world in a negative light, calling most things as being “phony”. Attending a good boarding school and being from a moderately wealthy family background, Holden is from a background to make good choices. Despite having such benefits, he decides instead to neglect his school, his friends and most of society as well, once again calling them phony. He makes the right choice in deciding to go on a weekend trip to New York, hoping to clear out his mind but once again gets into trouble by making bad choices. He calls a prostitute and insults her, picks fight with strangers, and secretly meets his sister. Despite his good fortunes Holden decided, on his own will, to make bad choices. As a result, his life, just like the choices he made, turned out to be dark, pessimistic and gloomy.</p>

<p>There are innate characteristics that significantly influences ones life. Factors such as family background, appearance and talent may shape the course of ones life, yet from both the lives of many people and the stories of literary works, we can see that making good, and sometimes fortunate choices is much more influential. All people have the power to make choices that will cover, or make more vulnerable both their strong and weak points. </p>

<p>In conclusion, throughout life people are put into constant dilemnas, having to decide among many choices. Although some choices may be more significant than others, people must still carefully lay out the cost and benefits of each choices. In the end, it is the accumulation of such choices, not any innate or outside factors, that will shape the outcome of ones life.</p>

<p>Great examples, clearly relevant to the issue. I might check the grammar a bit (it doesn’t influence essay score much but it definitely helps)…wherever you use “ones” (as in “ones life”) it should be “one’s.” Also, Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president of the US (graders might not notice that either…they merely skim over your essay).</p>

<p>Overall, I might give either an 8 or 10.</p>

<p>wow your essay IS good. without some grammatical errors you will get, no doubt, 10 on your essay. btw did you write it in 25 minutes?</p>

<p>i mean 12 the highest score :)</p>

<p>I wrote the original version in 25 minutes then added a little when typing it up :slight_smile:
Thanks for all the help!!</p>