My SoCal D19 has completely changed in the last year. During her junior year (she is young for her grade) she kept talking about going somewhere in SoCal. What changed the most was the amazing experience of going through the MIT Womens Technology Program in Boston before her senior year. She got on a plane by herself, had to find her friend group and experienced a classroom environment and exploring a new city. It might be too late for your son to have that kind of experience, but maybe he can go on a visit of schools with friend instead of his family. When you think of it, it is perfectly natural to fear going somewhere where you are away from your family, don’t know anyone, have to start college classes. A lot of new experiences
In looking back, I can see now how the steps you make when they are little help prepare them to make this step. Going away to a college sports, arts or math camp when they are in middle school, traveling around the country or world for vacation and going to cities or college towns, these things really help when they try to project themselves being successful somewhere.
As others have said, I wouldn’t push him. There are great community colleges close. He will eventually find his own way. I have a nephew that was pretty sheltered when he was young, never traveled far from home. He went to a community college, then was accepted to the flagship public 30 min next to his home, went for a semester and decided to transfer to the City College of NYC in Harlem to follow his passion surprising everyone.
He will get there.