<p>Adding this new insight: I'm thinking there's something uniquely awful about the aps process for kids, because it represents moving on to them and they're deeply scared inside, even while they claim they are eager to go. So the procrastination worsens over these apps.</p>
<p>I wouldn't have thought so until I watched how some college seniors struggled and procrastinated over their grad school apps. Here, they've already been handling themselves admirably for 4 years, out-of-state and away from home, taking care of academics and domestic responsibilities.</p>
<p>But that grad school app...caused a kind of emotional regression in some, and they didn't handle it as neatly as they've learned to handle their college papers, vacation travel plans and all that.</p>
<p>Maybe the thought of moving forward causes people to become childish and dependent. </p>
<p>Also consider that the actual departure to college will be another half-year from this date, during which time you can really emphasize a few domestic and organizational skills.</p>
<p>With each of ours, we had a BRIEF, NON-JUDGMENTAL chat when nobody was upset about anything about academics in college. We explained that the biggest difference was that in college, nobody would wake them up or even know if they'd woken up, so every responsibility to attend class is in their own domain. There are no more "attendance officers." THe biggest factor for doing well in many classes is regular attendance, but that's all theirs. If they want to do college the easy way, go to every class; if they want to make it hard on themselves, start skipping classes...they'll quickly see the difference.</p>
<p>Secondly, the professors give out a syllabus at the beginning of the term with exam dates on it and major papers, plus readings. Nobody "checks" whether you read the assignments, but it'll let you understand the lecture l00% better if you've read up. Wait and try to read all at the end, to cram, and you'll find all the books taken out of the library that week, and even if you get them, you'll be scrambling to make sense of your notes.</p>
<p>High school teachers have a habit of reminding kids of upcoming quizzes with blackboard notes, verbal reminders, etc...but once the prof has published his dates, he doesn't have to say another word. Maybe he'll mention it in the class before, maybe not...but he doesn't "have" to. It's the student's responsbility to mark up his planner or calendar or PDA (personal data assistant? those little machines everybody uses...) at the start of the term with all the calendar dates from the syllabuses of all the courses. </p>
<p>Some schools mention this at orientation or give a freshman seminar to help students transition to college academia, but not all do.</p>
<p>But if he used a planner through h.s., he has the basic tools and habits to keep up with this. So build on his strengths and knowledge rather than tear him down. He'll simply extend the h.s. planner into a college-based system. </p>
<p>Most helpful is to equip him with the tools to succeed, rather than say he never could. Around this time senior year, my son bought his first PDA and learned to use it while at home, so it became his best friend at college.</p>
<p>Make it funny, but have a laundry-learning seminar one weekend in the coming months.</p>
<p>Above all, realize that the SAME ISSUES will confront him, whether he's instate or out-of-state. Please let him study where he feels most eager to study, then give him a few more tools, then let him go.</p>
<p>At freshman orientation at one of our schools, the dean said to all parents, "Once this year they will screw up royally, so expect it." I felt much sorrier for parents who learned that their kid had driven while drunk than I did for myself to learn one of mine flubbed a deadline and got a C in a freshman course.</p>