<p>Hi okay i'm currently deciding between attending choate or andover.</p>
<p>I initially wanted to go to andover but i decided to go for revisits and check it out for myself.</p>
<p>At Choate, i felt very welcomed and i felt the students were very welcoming. They were very helpful and spontaneous and they bothered to introduce themselves. The classes were engaging and the food was good!!</p>
<p>At andover, i felt like the students were kinda individualistic and i didn't get a sense of community. They were less warm but they were very academically focussed. However, i thought the classes were kinda boring and not as engaging as at Choate. And the food wasn't that great haha.</p>
<p>My parents liked andover because they said it would challenge me acedmically, and because its more PRESTIGIOUS, its like a brand name. But i felt Choate was a place where i could fit in well and be challenged academically as well. It may not be as prestigious but their graduates still do pretty well right?</p>
<p>My parents are reluctant to send me to CHOATE! Sigh... any ideas to convince them? </p>
<p>Of course i am basing my decision on my revisits and it may be that i had a really bad revisit day.</p>
<p>"My parents liked andover because they said it would challenge me acedmically"
u'll find urself equally chanllenged at choate as u would at andover...</p>
<p>Both schools will challenge you academically. I guess Andover weighs in a little more on the prestige-o-meter, but the difference is negligible. </p>
<p>If you are undecided and live somewhat close, you can request to visit both schools again to get a feel for the boarding life at each. Do this quickly because you don't have much time. If nothing else, you can arrange a second revisit. If you still believe that Choate is the right place for you, then you need to articulate why in an unemotional way. Remind your parents that the student in the top third of a class (who has time for ec's, arts, leadership positions and/or sports) is the one who will have many good choices when college admissions rolls around. You need to be in an environment in which you can excel. Good luck!</p>
<p>As others have said, Choate and Andover are both very well-regarded schools. It's important that you feel comfortable during the revisit days and feel like you could see yourself on campus and in the classes that you are attending. When I revisited at Andover, my experience was very different then the one that you described. Everyone was interacting a lot in class and on the quads and I certainly felt a sense of community. When did you revisit Andover? Sometimes yourexperience on a revisit day can depend on which day you attend. If it was this Friday, everyone was kind of down since we had Saturday classes for the first time since the fall.</p>
<p>Good luck and hope that you end up wherever you prefer, whether it's Andover or Choate.</p>
<p>...for instance...in MY family...I hardly think that my S would find a way to pay for a BS regardless of what his parents say. And while I'm sure every family -- like every snowflake -- is different, I'm not sure I'm aware of ANY family where the kid can select a BS regardless of what his parents say...just as I'm sure there no snowflakes that fall in Tahiti. Now there may be parents who say "Do what you want, Junior," but those kids are acting with a free license from their parents, not regardless of what they say.</p>
<p>Sometimes I wonder what they're making Kool-Aid with these days. "Regardless of what my parents say..." Too funny.</p>
<p>You are the person who's going to be spending the next 3 or 4 years of your life at the school. This is probably the first major decision you will make in your life, and it should be your decision. You will get a great education at either school. Go to the school that you think is the best fit and where you think you'll be happiest.</p>
<p>P.S. I'm a Choate alumni, and my son was accepted this Fall. I would love him to go to Choate, but whether or does or not is his decision, and will depend in part on his revisit next week.</p>
<p>While I think it helps to respect the thoughts of the student applicant in this process, I'm not going to be totally absent from providing parental guidance.</p>
<p>We saw in a couple of other threads how that guidance can be valuable to a student (I'm referring here to bearcats who, I believe, is older and a bit more savvy than the young adolescents who populate this site). And that doesn't mean that the parents are exerting their will. Sometimes parents have a clearer idea of what's best for their child and what their child wants than their child. In the end, it needs to be the child's decision...as there's no sense in pushing them with their heels dug in...but the parents can't just absent themselves from the process and say, "Just tell us which school's name to ink in to the 'Pay to the order of' section of my check when you're ready." </p>
<p>That's as crazy as a kid saying (or thinking) they can choose a BS "regardless of what my parents say." It's a family decision. There ought to be a collaboration involved. Well...there sure as heck should be plenty of collaboration for anyone who believes that this is even somewhat significant. This is why parents ought to be deeply involved in the research and learning that goes on...as it helps to both become informed about the schools as it helps the parents to learn a little more about their children and helping to guide them to the best match.</p>
<p>i think u should choose which one you feel like you really want to go to... i agree with the others on saying that u shud go to the revisits again, that might really help. have fun in making your decision, im sure it will be a good one!</p>
<p>Dyer, obviously as a parent I don't disagree that we have to be there to help guide and advise our kids. However, there is a continuum between uninvolved and over-involved; and knowing where to draw the line can be difficult, particularly since it keeps moving.:)</p>
<p>In this case, it sounded like the original poster had a pretty clear idea where they wanted to go and his parents were exerting pressure to override his/her decision. Moreover, it sounds like their reason for preferring Andover to Choate is pretty shallow (perceived prestige), rather than it being a better fit for their kid.</p>
<p>Of course, I am mindful of the fact that our information is being filtered through a 13 year old, so we may not be getting the full story. However, ultimately it sounds like this person has a pretty strong preference for Choate. If they were my kid, I would certainly want to go through their reasons for choosing Choate, and point out what I perceived the advantages to be of Andover, but at the end of the day, I do believe the ultimate decision is there's and it would be wrong to exert pressure in an effort to change their mind. </p>
<p>Finally, I think that in this case, what it comes down to is fit. It's not like the poster is deciding between going to BS or dropping out and becoming a gang banger. Both Andover and Choate will give him a fantastic education and terrific opportunities.</p>
<p>Of course I was reacting to the same comment that drnancie was reacting to...that one can do what they think regardless of what their parents say. In the end, the kids we're talking about here -- the ones who are going to BS as opposed to those who are sent to BS -- generally have veto power. Few parents will force their child to attend a particular school. So if it comes down to it, just as a child can't force a parent to pay tuition for a particular school "regardless of what their parents say," the kids here can probably refuse to attend a particular school. That's the stand-off situation that we all operate from as the center point...with some families a bit further from the center than others.</p>
<p>I'm not going to dare to weigh in on what's the best fit for the OP and validate the views of one side over the other for the very reasons you note: who knows what the real story is and what school is the best fit? It's quite possible that the parents have a greater sense of this than the child. I'm going to respect that possibility and not weigh in. I'm sticking to the much easier point to opine on.</p>
<p>The "regardless" comment takes me back to my graduation week from college when the popular song (anthem) heard around campus was Sinatra's "My Way." "My Way" my a$$. Nearly everyone had a major assist from parents. And their dorm community. And high school teachers. And coaches. And boyfriends and girlfriends. The idea that a kid -- one who has yet to go out and work in the world and keep house -- can do much of anything "regardless" of the parents takes me back to that arrogance and disassociation with the reality of who deserves the real credit and who ought to be thankful.</p>
<p>If you take into account how I view college graduation as a day for parents to celebrate their successful achievement, you can probably understand (without having to agree with me) how I might react strongly to a kid about to enter high school who takes a view that totally *disses[\i] the parents' role in charting one's education.</p>
<p>Yes, the issue that I was reacting to was to move forward without considering the parents' views. The parents may in fact agree to leave it up to the child which prep school. </p>
<p>For example, I had told my older son that he could decide between Andover and Exeter. For us as his parents, we felt that they were equivalent, so he could decide which he felt was a better fit. However, in my younger son's situation now, we feel that the three schools that he was accepted to are not equivalent for a whole variety of reasons, and we have told him that it will be a family decision. </p>
<p>It is very important to have a dialogue about these issues, hopefully in the beginning of the process. Sometimes there are financial considerations as well.</p>
<p>From a choate student: you will not be "unchallenged here" Seriously. We have a good amount of homework and academic focus, but we dont have a suicide rate. The food is good, but you get used to it after awhile, then it becomes bland. Freshman year will be a blast. Choate is a good experience IMO; there's a good balance between a sense of community and academics. Ok this is all I can write.
Off to my 5 page paper due yesterday.</p>
<p>Andover I would say.
I've heard some interesting stories about choate...
then again you can find hormonal teens at any high school you go to so...
Well at least those other high schools did not have a super senior that jumped out a window as he was about 2 b caught in a girls room, broke his leg, and got kicked out.
Choate is extremely challenging, so be prepared for tons of work.</p>