<p>ECazndb8r: I’m being overly harsh to an extent, but I’ve dealt with a lot of different people through my high school and college years, and much of what I’m saying regarding the behaviors of guys and girls isn’t exactly far off…You’ll see where I’m coming from once you’re in college.</p>
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<p>I just came here to vent. This is the same friend who I have been looking out for. When her bf got kicked out of school, who was looking for out for her to make sure she was ok? Who invited her to all these places and tried to show her a good time? I did. When she was having drama with her (and my former) roommates, who was there to listen to her problems? Me. And when I am having some serious issues (i.e. cutting and having conflicts at home with my mom), she didn’t even bother to ASK if I was ok. </p>
<p>So much for friendship.</p>
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<p>Looks like it.</p>
<p>I did leave a message. I told her how I felt about being ignored and how I felt like crap for her just ignoring me. I also told her that I felt that ignoring me was childish, and that I tried really hard to be a good friend to her, but now after this, I didn’t really care anymore. Then I wish her a good life and good luck.</p>
<p>I swear, sometimes I wish I were a guy. Physical beat downs and reconciliations are so much better than being ignored, backstabbed, and have silly little grudges be hold against you forever.</p>
<p>Don’t worry, those annoying catty girls will eventually mature, get a better grip of reality, and become good mothers. 18 is NOT an age to be mature, talk to women who are 24 and older and you may notice a different type of personality.</p>
<p>I suggest that the OP read Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, which is a very thought provoking book about how girls I socially conditioned not to express themselves openly from childhood but to always be “sweet” or “nice”, whereas boys are socially permitted and encouraged to express their anger and other so called negative emotions. What people see as “cattiness” and what many stereotype as “natural female beahvior” is really just a legacy of repressed agression and a society that 1) encourages girls to not express their real emotions and 2) encourages/demands them to compete for the attention of male counterparts and normalizes that competition. There’s nothing natural about it. </p>
<p>I went to a women’s college and people often ask me wasn’t there a high degree of “cattiness” or petty infighting. And I say no. In environments where women are encouraged to support each other, rather than see one another as enemies or competition for the male gaze, and in places where women are allowed and encouraged to express themselves, you don’t get cattiness, you get healthy, close knit communities of women who care about each other and support each other, rather than undermine one another to get ahead in some stupid game society has decided we ought to be interested in playing.</p>
<p>Find a chill ex-boyfriend aka one who you’re sure is over you and has never stalked you, and hang out with him and his friends. He’s already agreed to be friends with you when you broke up.</p>
<p>I like ‘‘catty’’ girls</p>
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I don’t see a problem with doing just that while being female. But maybe that’s just me and my friends. There is nothing preventing you from freely speaking your mind, maybe even yell at people, other than antiquated social constructs of the female gender. </p>
<p>@SmithieandProud Good post.</p>
<p>I’m scared of girls. That’s why I hardly befriend them. They’re just a bunch of weirdos.</p>
<p>Ehhh. I can see where the OP is coming from to an extent. Something like that really hurts, so I’m sorry that you’re in a situation like that. It sucks, and I know what you mean…I feel like plenty of the time, girls are really passive aggressive (which, honestly, probably has a lot to do with what SmithieandProud was saying about repressed anger), while guys are more straightforward, so they’re easier to deal with.</p>
<p>OTOH, I don’t think all girls are like this. I’ve been friends with many different girls for years and even though people occasionally get pi**ed at each other, for the most part everyone is fine, and everyone works through their issues. I think you just have to find yourself some new friends to hang out with.</p>
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Whoa sorry if I missed a post (but who started talking about rape here?!</p>
<p>I have to agree with romanigypsyeyes (unless she did make that rape comment, idk); I’ve been female for nearly 20 years and never really had this problem myself. I think I’ve had like 2 squabbles with friends in my entire life, in 8th and 9th grade, and we got over it like 3 days later and remained friends. But otherwise my relationships with friends have always been conflict-free (my family is a different story but they have problems). </p>
<p>Honestly - and I truly hope this doesn’t offend you because I’m just trying to be helpful - I think you need to evaluate why these types of girls are attracted to you in the first place. In my experience, people tend to attract others of a similar nature; most of my friends are laid back and share my quirky sense of humor. My catty suitemates who I spoke about earlier attracted other catty girls (whom they would make fun as soon as they left the room). No matter how old you get, there will always be the “mean girls” but you don’t have to befriend them (you may have to work or interact with them). Generally when I meet these types of girls I remain polite but distant because I don’t want to get sucked into their drama. And the “mean girls” don’t always look like [url=<a href=“http://sororitysecrets.files.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2008/07/regina-george.jpg]this[/url”>http://sororitysecrets.files.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2008/07/regina-george.jpg]this[/url</a>] in reality, you know? As soon as you notice that immature behavior: ignoring, gossiping, back biting, etc - start to surface…I would just try to not spend much time with that person.</p>
![http://sororitysecrets.files.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2008/07/regina-george.jpg]this[/url](http://sororitysecrets.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/regina-george.jpg%5Dthis%5B/url){kind=link}
<p>Also you might want to get some counseling for you family stress/self-harm disorder. Just a suggestion</p>
<p>How about making friends with girls who aren’t “catty?” </p>
<p>There is no all encompassing quality of either sex, and this extends to girls “all being catty” and “over-dramatic.” </p>
<p>Those are the types of girls you have gravitated toward. That doesn’t lend any credence to generalizing that quality to all women. </p>
<p>Plus, that’s a big mistake, because once you have that set in your mind, you’ll be a textbook case of confirmation bias. You’ll look for “cattiness” in every girl you meet, and try to blow up everything you consider to be “cattiness” and ignore the rest of her personality. </p>
<p>Seriously, try meeting some different girls. </p>
<p>And with this whole “maturity” thing you guys keep debating? It goes both ways.</p>
<p>There are many girls and guys that act mature. They are many that do not. There are many that think they are mature and aren’t. </p>
<p>It’s not one sex. It’s both. </p>
<p>So stop complaining about the opposite sex, because you can apply all the same qualities to yours as well. </p>
<p>Seriously. This is kinda ridiculous. =|</p>
<p>"I’ve never had this problem with my friends.
Perhaps you just surround yourself with juvenile catty people. "</p>
<p>+1</p>
<p>Did a mod delete roman’s second posts? SMH</p>
<p>How is making a thread about this not being catty as well? :s</p>
<p>If you don’t like the sterotype, don’t perpetuate it :).</p>
<p>disregard females, acquire currency
close male comrades before promiscuous women</p>
<p>Everything Rixs said = +1</p>
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<p>10000000% agree.</p>
<p>Disregard cavewomen, acquire useful bartering items.</p>
<p>That’s the motto I live by.</p>
<p>congratuations OP on not being like them—the shallow and vapid . . .</p>
<p>you really are a gem. bravo.</p>