<p>My D has met and started dating a boy about a month ago. They are smitten, changed their facebook status, crazy about each other,etc. He's great; smart, cute and nice and she is the same. It seems like a good match (and my daughter's first real boyfriend)</p>
<p>They are both going to college in California about 400 miles from each other. Assuming they stay together and "in love" through the summer, I know she will be coming to me for advice on how to handle their separation. </p>
<p>On one hand, I don't think being tied down is a good way to go to college; on the other hand, you don't meet someone special you feel that way about every day.</p>
<p>My question: is there a way a "open relationship" can work? Can you not break up but give each other freedom (don't ask, don't tell) so you avoid cheating? And you still see each other, continue your relationship? Is whether the relationship is sexual a factor? They are both social,active, outgoing and nice looking so they are bound to have a lot of opportunities.</p>
<p>Insight appreciated; stuff has changed a lot since I went to college!</p>
<p>The only way for an “open relationship” to work is if both your D and her boyfriend are okay with the fact that their loved one is having other sexual relationship on the side. I personally could never do it even if I lived thousands of miles away. Sex shouldn’t be something that you just give to anyone. That’s just my belief though. If they are inclined to disagree then perhaps it would be favorable for them to be in an open relationship with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” boundary. I’ve known this to work with some couple but both of them have to be 100% sure they want it.</p>
<p>Otherwise there is always long distance, which is hard the first few years, but eventually gets easier once you’ve made the transition into college. I dated my high school sweetheart through college and we kept in touch (he lived in Chicago and I was in Seattle). We saw each other once a year and still managed to make things work. The stress of being apart is hardest the first year which is why most relationships end up falling apart (I broke up with my boyfriend several times that year). There is no real way to prepare for a break up other then finding ways to cope with it, which is an individual task.</p>
<p>Since they are only 400 miles apart, maybe they could take a train to see each other at least once a month on weekends?</p>